Choose your color scheme:
The Vette Barn  
 
Go Back   The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic

Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-28-2022, 8:44am   #1
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default The Dirty Joke Thread

Post'em up. the dirtier, the better. Don't hold back. Adog won't start, but i will...


Q: why is your penis like a Rubic's Cube?
A: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2022, 8:55am   #2
MadInNc
Barn Stall Owner #103
Points: 193,747, Level: 100
Activity: 45.7%
 
MadInNc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Cackalaky
Posts: 25,333
Thanks: 11,791
Thanked 31,301 Times in 10,834 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $108939
Default

ya want dirty? I'll give ya dirty!


The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.


The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
MadInNc is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to MadInNc For This Useful Post:
Old 06-28-2022, 5:12pm   #3
slewfoot
Barn Stall Owner #118
Points: 18,671, Level: 94
Activity: 53.6%
 
slewfoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: MAGA - Through Fear & Intimidation
Posts: 3,764
Thanks: 98
Thanked 1,925 Times in 1,125 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1002672
Default

Blind guy going "down" on his wife.
He says, "you're awfully dry tonight honey!"
She replies "you're licking the rug!"
slewfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to slewfoot For This Useful Post:
Old 06-28-2022, 7:05pm   #4
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by slewfoot View Post
Blind guy going "down" on his wife.
He says, "you're awfully dry tonight honey!"
She replies "you're licking the rug!"
at least he got some carpet.....
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2022, 8:39pm   #5
MEANZ06
A Real Barner
Points: 46,195, Level: 100
Activity: 0.8%
 
MEANZ06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NorCal Sierras
Posts: 13,084
Thanks: 4,248
Thanked 3,864 Times in 1,754 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $4635916
Default

Told by a girl on the morning radio show years back

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Why?

Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich
MEANZ06 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MEANZ06 For This Useful Post:
Old 06-28-2022, 10:24pm   #6
Aerovette
Chief Electrician
Barn Stall Owner #7734

Bantayan Kids '15
Points: 104,911, Level: 100
Activity: 99.2%
 
Aerovette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The corner of Cease Rd. and Desist St.
Posts: 43,838
Thanks: 16,804
Thanked 33,385 Times in 13,465 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $107478
Default

A boy was eating out his grandmother and tasted horse cum. He thought to himself, "I wonder if that's how she died?"
Aerovette is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Aerovette For This Useful Post:
Old 06-28-2022, 10:28pm   #7
ratflinger
Barn Stall Owner #THX1138
Points: 15,580, Level: 86
Activity: 4.7%
 
ratflinger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South of San Antonio
Posts: 2,790
Thanks: 1,041
Thanked 2,192 Times in 988 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1322
Default

ratflinger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2022, 10:50pm   #8
Aerovette
Chief Electrician
Barn Stall Owner #7734

Bantayan Kids '15
Points: 104,911, Level: 100
Activity: 99.2%
 
Aerovette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The corner of Cease Rd. and Desist St.
Posts: 43,838
Thanks: 16,804
Thanked 33,385 Times in 13,465 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $107478
Default

Post 6 USED TO BE the worst joke I knew...it has been replaced.
Aerovette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2022, 11:17pm   #9
Bruze
A Real Barner
Points: 83,380, Level: 100
Activity: 95.0%
 
Bruze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: NYS Finger Lakes
Posts: 13,958
Thanks: 7,200
Thanked 9,370 Times in 3,855 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $500
Default

What’s the definition of “a woman”?




A life-support system for a ****.
Bruze is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bruze For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 5:42am   #10
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by aerovette View Post
Post 6 USED TO BE the worst joke I knew...it has been replaced.
with what?
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DJ_Critterus For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 8:34am   #11
Aerovette
Chief Electrician
Barn Stall Owner #7734

Bantayan Kids '15
Points: 104,911, Level: 100
Activity: 99.2%
 
Aerovette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The corner of Cease Rd. and Desist St.
Posts: 43,838
Thanks: 16,804
Thanked 33,385 Times in 13,465 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $107478
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ_Critterus View Post
with what?
It might be too much to post. I guess I can delete it is if it is too far over the line.
Aerovette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-29-2022, 8:38am   #12
Aerovette
Chief Electrician
Barn Stall Owner #7734

Bantayan Kids '15
Points: 104,911, Level: 100
Activity: 99.2%
 
Aerovette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The corner of Cease Rd. and Desist St.
Posts: 43,838
Thanks: 16,804
Thanked 33,385 Times in 13,465 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $107478
Default

A wife walked in on her husband ****ing their daughter and she was angry and disgusted. He wasn't sure if it was because he had his dick in their daughter, or because the clinic let him have the fetus.
Aerovette is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Aerovette For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 8:39am   #13
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by aerovette View Post
It might be too much to post. I guess I can delete it is if it is too far over the line.
Post it.


A man and a small girl are walking in the woods and it's pitch black out. the little girl says, "Hey Mr. I'm scared."

He said, "Why are you scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone."
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DJ_Critterus For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 8:43am   #14
Strats-N-Vettes
SOME Real Barner
Points: 172,094, Level: 100
Activity: 8.1%
 
Strats-N-Vettes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: ♫♫ ♪ ♫♫♫ ♪ ♫♫
Posts: 12,934
Thanks: 120
Thanked 25,339 Times in 9,150 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $2034428
Default

Two Libs are walking in an alley when one of them picks up a used condom.
The other Lib says:
"hey, save me a drag off of that!"
Strats-N-Vettes is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Strats-N-Vettes For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 8:59am   #15
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strats-N-Vettes View Post
Two Libs are walking in an alley when one of them picks up a used condom.
The other Lib says:
"hey, save me a drag off of that!"
Two libs are walking down the street and see a dog licking it's own balls. One says (with a lisssp), "I ssssssure would like to be able to do that."

The other relies, "Well, gee, manly, ssssshhhhhouldn't you try petting him firrrsssst?"
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DJ_Critterus For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 9:19am   #16
6spdC6
A Real Barner
Points: 20,998, Level: 99
Activity: 29.1%
 
6spdC6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NorthernNY! (A little town on the shores of the Great Sacandaga Lake) in the peoples republic of NY
Posts: 10,023
Thanks: 5,345
Thanked 3,305 Times in 1,802 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $2115673
Default

This one parish had a very decent but not too wordley of a priest. If you gave him a sob story he would try to help you out by giving money. A man came in and said he needed a blow job bad but had no money. The priest not knowing what a blow job was gave him the $25 he said he needed.

It bothered the priest so he decided he would go see mother superior as she was very smart and quite wordely. He then asked her whats a blow job. She replied $25 and up!
6spdC6 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 6spdC6 For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 11:23am   #17
snide
Barn Raising II,III
NCM Supporter '13
Bantayan Kids '17
Points: 216,817, Level: 100
Activity: 53.6%
 
snide's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: I could never live there.
Posts: 339,934
Thanks: 200,281
Thanked 30,506 Times in 14,292 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $108033784
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ_Critterus View Post
Two libs are walking down the street and see a dog licking it's own balls. One says (with a lisssp), "I ssssssure would like to be able to do that."

The other relies, "Well, gee, manly, ssssshhhhhouldn't you try petting him firrrsssst?"
Jeff '79 and Lakota?
snide is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to snide For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 2:42pm   #18
Bruze
A Real Barner
Points: 83,380, Level: 100
Activity: 95.0%
 
Bruze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: NYS Finger Lakes
Posts: 13,958
Thanks: 7,200
Thanked 9,370 Times in 3,855 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $500
Default

Did you hear about the blind guy who walked past the fish market and said, “Good afternoon ladies!”
Bruze is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bruze For This Useful Post:
Old 06-29-2022, 2:44pm   #19
DJ_Critterus
Explosive Salami
Stall Owner #1120.2520
 
DJ_Critterus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Not Ceasing & Desisting on the leeward side of Anger Island
Posts: 51,713
Thanks: 21,483
Thanked 27,655 Times in 11,659 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9018209
Default

Why is a hooker like butter?

They both spread for bread.
DJ_Critterus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-29-2022, 3:30pm   #20
VITE1
Barn Stall Owner #69
Bantayan Kids '14,'15,'17
GTMS ‘18
Points: 62,120, Level: 100
Activity: 3.2%
 
VITE1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Port Saint Lucie FL
Posts: 43,822
Thanks: 25,657
Thanked 12,526 Times in 5,847 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1084134
Default

Old one.
Attached Thumbnails
IMG-20220519-WA0000.jpg  

VITE1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to VITE1 For This Useful Post:
Reply

The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 8:33pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2009 - 2024 The Vette Barn


Support the Barn:
 
Download the Mobile App;
 
Follow us on Facebook:

Become a Stall Owner

 

Apple iOS App        Google Android App

 

Visit our Facebook page