Goodbye Linda.

[DAB]

So this past friday, my phone rings, company called Compassus, hospice company that handled Linda for the last few days officially.

rep came in when Linda was in the ICU, here, sign this, and this.....and finally this too. whatever lady, i'm just trying to make sure Linda is without pain.

So, they obviously got notified of Linda's passing on tuesday, and respectfully waited a few days before calling me.

and a very nice lady i've never met wanted me to know how sad she was, and that they had great grief programs and grief assistance, and that she'll call again next week again, and if I want to call her, she gave me her name and number.

corporate grief counseling i call it.

you people didn't know Linda, never interacted with Linda, don't know me, and the only interaction we had was me signing a bunch of forms i didn't read.

I have a great family that i can call anytime, they knew Linda, the know me, and we can talk on that basis.

i think the next time she calls, will be the last time she calls.

[snide]

Originally Posted by DAB

decided i needed to get out of the house this morning, so i went to the pistol match. hour or so drive each way, plenty of time to listen to a sermon each way.

found my friend Dan, who knew about Linda's fight with cancer. told him the sad news. Dan is about my size (and Datafiz's), i got the biggest BEAR hug you could imagine.

it was good to get out among friends and do something enjoyable. finished 6/14, about where i expected. shooting my carry gun out of my carry holster, with some cheap 115gr PMC ammo. it goes bang.

i missed calling Linda after the match was over and telling her how i did....no one to talk to....

You have us.

[JRD77VET]

Originally Posted by DAB

So this past friday, my phone rings, company called Compassus, hospice company that handled Linda for the last few days officially.

rep came in when Linda was in the ICU, here, sign this, and this.....and finally this too. whatever lady, i'm just trying to make sure Linda is without pain.

So, they obviously got notified of Linda's passing on tuesday, and respectfully waited a few days before calling me.

and a very nice lady i've never met wanted me to know how sad she was, and that they had great grief programs and grief assistance, and that she'll call again next week again, and if I want to call her, she gave me her name and number.

corporate grief counseling i call it.

you people didn't know Linda, never interacted with Linda, don't know me, and the only interaction we had was me signing a bunch of forms i didn't read.

I have a great family that i can call anytime, they knew Linda, the know me, and we can talk on that basis.

i think the next time she calls, will be the last time she calls.

I know she had no actual interacting with you or Linda but don't give her a hard time. The hospice folks are literally angels on earth.

[LisaJohn]

I’m sorry to read this about your hospice. One of the hospices here has an outstanding reputation. We only had contact with them a few times during one of my grandparent’s final days. They were supportive and checked on us a few times after she passed away. It was nice to know they were an option if we needed them. I know several people who have taken advantage of their counseling services even for just one or two times. Continued thoughts and prayers.

[DAB]

I have nothing against the lady or the company, it just seems forced. Like they are checking boxes on a form.

Maybe I’m wrong.

I know I’m tired.

Tomorrow is another day.

[LisaJohn]

I hope you have a restful night.

[Aerovette]

My mom and I were offered grief counseling from the funeral home and both decided it was not going to be necessary...except that it is, and we realize now we need it. It is fortunate that you have an organic support group, but some don't and the people on the outside doing their job, may not be needed in most cases, but sometimes they are. I hope you'll politely let her know you're good.

[DAB]

I’m thankful I have this little box of broken toys to talk to now and then.

I’m also thankful that I have several shooting friends that I can talk to.

And a few neighbors that I can lean on if needed.

Stay tuned.

[kvozel]

Just saw this, so sorry.

[erickpl]

Originally Posted by DAB

decided i needed to get out of the house this morning, so i went to the pistol match. hour or so drive each way, plenty of time to listen to a sermon each way.

found my friend Dan, who knew about Linda's fight with cancer. told him the sad news. Dan is about my size (and Datafiz's), i got the biggest BEAR hug you could imagine.

it was good to get out among friends and do something enjoyable. finished 6/14, about where i expected. shooting my carry gun out of my carry holster, with some cheap 115gr PMC ammo. it goes bang.

i missed calling Linda after the match was over and telling her how i did....no one to talk to....

You can still talk to her. Talk to her when you're driving. Talk to her when you're on the sofa. Talk to her in your dreams.

When my mom passed in April 2018, she visited me in my dream the next morning, but it felt so real. I could feel her weight at the foot of the bed as she sat down. We talked for a while and before she left, she said that when we see a cardinal, know she is with us. That morning, we saw cardinals. I see them frequently when I'm out for a run.

The phone may be useless to call her, but you now have a direct line all the time.

[DAB]

Neighbors brought over a chicken dish and rice as well as some brownies. Yum.

Sympathy cards have started to roll in.

[SQUIRMIN VERMIN 84]

Thank you Doug, for opening and sharing this most vulnerable and tenderest part
of your life with us. Every committed, married couple must face what you
and Linda faced. By making God a living part of your marriage, He has demonstrated
His love and care for you both all the way through the journey.
I have come close many times to losing my own Linda and His presence was
also made known. We both have followed you two through this in prayer and tears.
Again, thank you, Brother.

[DAB]

it is uncommon for men in western society to show emotions of "weakness"

men show emotions of strength, cheering for their children or their favorite sports team, or yelling about their own accomplishments, but rarely showing emotions of defeat or sorrow. the old "men don't cry" adage.

but God gave us emotions on both ends of the scale. not everything in life is a win, there are losses too.

so it is natural and healthy to show that you are sad.

I was at the heart clinic yesterday, my pacemaker was acting up, and talking to the nurse, she saw on my notes that i had reported that Linda my wife had passed away last week.

and she related that she could understand my emotions, as she had lost her husband about 6 years ago. i told her she was too young to lose her husband. we had a good discussion and noted that i needed some Kleenex at some point.

big boys don't cry? if they don't cry, they have some issues.

So i'll get my shit together, and come out of this mostly healthy and mostly happy.

Don't know if i'll meet someone down the road, time will tell.

I will tell you that before we started talking about a life together, i spent many nights falling asleep, telling God, "well, if you want me to have a wife, you'll have to provide one, because i have no idea where to find a Godly woman"

in my late 20s and early 30s, i attended a church group on Sunday mornings that was geared to singles in that age range. so you met a lot of other singles who were nominally like minded. I cannot tell you how many times i'd meet a lady who i had not met before, and the first question out of her mouth was "what do you do?"

I do engineering.

"well, it was nice to meet you."

ok....what did i say?

i later concluded, that I didn't meet her expectations for what she was looking for in a man. i wasn't handsome enough, i wasn't powerful enough, i obviously didn't make enough money, and so in her eyes, she wasn't going to waste any more of her time on me.

fine, your loss.

and then Linda came along.

she didn't care about my lack of handsomeness, or that i only made 75k at that time, or that i did engineering. turns out her dad was also an engineer, so that was a plus - engineers know how to design and fix things in her view. fair enough.

time went on, we had many discussions about life, and next thing you know, we're married.

so, when you get home tonight, give your wife a huge hug, tell her you love her dearly.

Originally Posted by SQUIRMIN VERMIN 84

Thank you Doug, for opening and sharing this most vulnerable and tenderest part
of your life with us. Every committed, married couple must face what you
and Linda faced. By making God a living part of your marriage, He has demonstrated
His love and care for you both all the way through the journey.
I have come close many times to losing my own Linda and His presence was
also made known. We both have followed you two through this in prayer and tears.
Again, thank you, Brother.

[DAB]

another recent story that you may benefit from:

was driving back to the house after checking the mail yesterday morning, and there's my neighbor taking a walk. she is in remission for her cancer, which is good news, as her little boy needs both a mom and a dad.

well, she was walking for a reason. she and hubby had just had a fight over something, and this was her way to avoid making it worse.

from prior chats with her, she made it clear that she is strong willed and stubborn. in some cases, those are useful traits, but in marriage, they are not.

if i get another chance to talk to her more, i will point out how much better her marriage will be if she will learn to be a submissive wife, as the Bible teaches. and it's not just a NT idea, this goes all the way back to Abraham, with Sarah calling him Lord. submitting to his leadership.

it really does make your marriage better....

[simpleman68]

Logged on looking for an update but was hoping/praying this wasn't the result.

I am so sorry for Linda having to leave this life so soon.

I am happy that you have so much support around you. Support and your growing faith are the only things that will help you through these times.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do. Wish I was closer. I still have extra supplies for your shop that are too pricey to ship.

Wenge
Lacewood
4X10 beams of Doug Fir (FOHC, kiln dried)
Scott

[DAB]

road trip.....

Originally Posted by simpleman68

Logged on looking for an update but was hoping/praying this wasn't the result.

I am so sorry for Linda having to leave this life so soon.

I am happy that you have so much support around you. Support and your growing faith are the only things that will help you through these times.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do. Wish I was closer. I still have extra supplies for your shop that are too pricey to ship.

Wenge
Lacewood
4X10 beams of Doug Fir (FOHC, kiln dried)
Scott

[simpleman68]

Originally Posted by DAB

road trip.....

Sold the F-150 and the C5. Still have an old GTO, Mazduh SUV, and an AMG. Hmmmmm

Scott

[DAB]

Originally Posted by simpleman68

Sold the F-150 and the C5. Still have an old GTO, Mazduh SUV, and an AMG. Hmmmmm

Scott

it's ok, find someone local that can enjoy that lumber.

i'll hit the fancy wood place in ABQ in the coming months to find some really nice wood for her remains box. no design in mind yet, but at least as nice as her jewelry box - which i made out of the lacewood you sent some time ago.

[snide]

Originally Posted by DAB

another recent story that you may benefit from:

was driving back to the house after checking the mail yesterday morning, and there's my neighbor taking a walk. she is in remission for her cancer, which is good news, as her little boy needs both a mom and a dad.

well, she was walking for a reason. she and hubby had just had a fight over something, and this was her way to avoid making it worse.

from prior chats with her, she made it clear that she is strong willed and stubborn. in some cases, those are useful traits, but in marriage, they are not.

if i get another chance to talk to her more, i will point out how much better her marriage will be if she will learn to be a submissive wife, as the Bible teaches. and it's not just a NT idea, this goes all the way back to Abraham, with Sarah calling him Lord. submitting to his leadership.

it really does make your marriage better....

Can I give you my wife's number?

[DAB]

Originally Posted by snide

Can I give you my wife's number?

It’s all in The Book.