Long exhausting six months…… firsts vs lasts

[VatorMan]

So sorry to hear Gail.







We need to get together again soon.

[Ol Timer]

What a wonderful post. Bless you for spending time with your Dad when it must have been difficult for you at times.

I would encourage you to take steps to protect your mother. She may be vulnerable for a time.

[Grey Ghost]

So sorry for your loss Gail.

[xXBUDXx]

I'm sorry, Gail. Not much more I can say without wiping tears.

[DAB]

Originally Posted by MEC5LADY

As many of you are aware, my Dad had been suffering from dementia for some time and I have been helping my Mom take care of him. He was admitted to the VA hospital on May 2 then transferred to their palliative care ward a week later. He was a strong willed man and wanted no part of staying in bed and being inside. He loved being outside and spent a large portion of everyday outside. He never was a big talker so it was not a surprise to just spend time with him without him saying much. I would put him in the wheelchair and walk him for miles around the facility to the various courtyards they set up for the patients. It got me thinking about firsts vs lasts. We all get so excited about firsts i.e. first car, first smile, first kiss that we forget about the lasts. During this time I knew it was just a matter of time before my Dad would pass on and spent as much time with him as I could. I started to think about the lasts and whenever I would get him up or back into the bed I would hug him a bit longer, say I love you a few more times and try to spend every waking moment by his side. The last week of his life he slept and didn't go outside until the end when the nurses said they would help me take him outside in the bed. Although he was unresponsive I talked to him and enjoyed the warm sun, birds singing around us. After we pushed him back into his room I notice his breathing becoming more erratic and called for the Chaplain. After the Chaplain left the room my Dad peacefully took his last breath.

Cherish the firsts but don't forget to think about the lasts and live each day to the fullest. You never know what life has in store so let those who mean something to you know how you feel.

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

[Bill]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

A beautiful remembrance, Gail. May God bless you both.

I couldn't have said it any better.

[Woody]

My sincere condolences.

[Millenium Vette]

Originally Posted by xXBUDXx

I'm sorry, Gail. Not much more I can say without wiping tears.

Except I am in tears. I went through a very similar experience with my mother about a year and a half ago. I could never have put the experience into words like you have Gail. Prayers sent for you and your family.

[stingraymyway]

God Bless.

[Z06David]

Very sorry for your loss I think it was excellent of you to take him outside one last time. He definitely knows.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. My wife went through a similar situation with her mom last year.

Originally Posted by lspencer534

A beautiful remembrance, Gail. May God bless you both.

So sorry for your loss.

[onedef92]

Thanks for posting this, Gail. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[mrvette]

Originally Posted by onedef92

Thanks for posting this, Gail. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

From me too, it all brings back memories....

[LilRedCorvette]

Originally Posted by MEC5LADY

As many of you are aware, my Dad had been suffering from dementia for some time and I have been helping my Mom take care of him. He was admitted to the VA hospital on May 2 then transferred to their palliative care ward a week later. He was a strong willed man and wanted no part of staying in bed and being inside. He loved being outside and spent a large portion of everyday outside. He never was a big talker so it was not a surprise to just spend time with him without him saying much. I would put him in the wheelchair and walk him for miles around the facility to the various courtyards they set up for the patients. It got me thinking about firsts vs lasts. We all get so excited about firsts i.e. first car, first smile, first kiss that we forget about the lasts. During this time I knew it was just a matter of time before my Dad would pass on and spent as much time with him as I could. I started to think about the lasts and whenever I would get him up or back into the bed I would hug him a bit longer, say I love you a few more times and try to spend every waking moment by his side. The last week of his life he slept and didn't go outside until the end when the nurses said they would help me take him outside in the bed. Although he was unresponsive I talked to him and enjoyed the warm sun, birds singing around us. After we pushed him back into his room I notice his breathing becoming more erratic and called for the Chaplain. After the Chaplain left the room my Dad peacefully took his last breath.

Cherish the firsts but don't forget to think about the lasts and live each day to the fullest. You never know what life has in store so let those who mean something to you know how you feel.

Very eloquently stated. I can't possibly add anything to that, other than to say how blessed you were to have had a good relationship with your Dad and to have those precious final moments with him.

And, also add to everyone else's prayers here...may God bless you and your family during this very sad time.

We need to get together again in the near future when things calm down for you. But for now, take care of yourself, your Mom, and your family...I know you have been running ragged for a while...

[Kerrmudgeon]

A beautiful ending to a full life. What more can any of us wish for. Well done Gail, sorry for your loss, but he's happier now.

[Rob]

I am sorry about you loss Gail - The older I get the more I worry about that day coming when I lose my parents.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[island14]

Very nice the way you tell the touching story of your last days together.

As tough as they were, you will always cherish the memories of the time you spent with him.

I'm sorry to hear this news, and I know it is very hard loosing ones parents, I lost both of mine over the past few years and there probably isn't a day that goes by that I still don't think of them.

[wwomanC6]

Our thoughts and prayers are for you and your family, Gail. May you find comfort in this time of loss. God bless you and may you Dad RIP.

[StaticCling]

My Condolences

[OddBall]

You've done your father a great honor and kindness.
Every minute counts; you don't get them back.