[xXBUDXx]

Originally Posted by aerovette

This is all great advice and intellectually sound. I intellectually know it to be true, as is everything else posted. Where the brain becomes scrambled eggs is the emotions interfering with the logic. I don't WANT a divorce. If I did, this would be a cake walk. I still love her in my soul. Yeah, I know, it sounds like a chick writing a Dear Abbey letter. LOL.

I think about vacations, movies, a funny story, a piece of trivia, a dinner idea, furniture I like, whatever, and I want to share it with the person that has been my partner for 21 years and they are GONE. It is an empty, lonely feeling and it is taking control of me and I seem to be unable to fight back. To me it is WORSE than if she died because death isn't a choice. This person CHOSE to not be with me anymore. That's tough.
Anything and everything I do is just a shiny paint job on a turd. It all looks happy and smiley on the outside, but inside is a mental and emotional hurricane. It's like 6 bar bouncers kicking my heart's ass.

I appreciate the advice and words of encouragement. I'll refer to them as this moves forward.

When all is said and done and the emotions are removed, it will ultimately be a financial/business transaction and we already don't agree on things. Bumpy roads ahead.

I was also given the advice to go sleep with her best friend, but you better wait until the divorce is final for that one.