[04 commemorative]

Unbelievable - and if true downright embarrassing!



DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that

her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

(On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to

Capetown. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the

passport information, she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to

make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."Without trying

to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in

Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.''

Her response -click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida

package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.

He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.

I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the

middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the

map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible

to

see England from Canada?'' I said, ''No.'' She said,

''But they look

so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent

a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had

only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to

rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will

need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how

it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and

got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour

ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time

zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your

physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to

whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a

tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's

very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked

into it. (I was dying laughing.) I came back and explained the city

code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline

was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .

After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper

to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,

"How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly

he

meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but

none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,

Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I

asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She

said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he

needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about

passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't.

I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I

double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told

him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every

time

they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want

to go from Chicago to Rhino,New York.'' I was at a loss for words.

Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the

town?'' ''Yes,

what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I

came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every

airport code

in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'' The lady

retorted,

''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!

''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You

don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' The reply?

''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could

anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS RUNNING OUR GOVERNMENT, AND

THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!