Some of these are probably old, but what the hell...
A tourist goes to an Indian reservation to visit the local Indians. As he passes one tee-pee, he see an Indian sitting down saying "chance", "chance", to all the women passing by him. Puzzled by this, the tourist approaches the Indian and asks, "don't Indians say how?" The Indian replies, "me know how, just want chance."
Why to rodeo cowboys make such lousy lovers? Because they think three seconds is a good ride!
How do find a old man in a nudist colony? It isn't hard.
What can a bird do that a man cannot? Eat with his pecker!
Definition of trust: Two cannibals having oral sex.
BOOK TITLES
1. Under the Grandstand by Seymour Butts
2. Brown Spots on the Wall by Who-Flung-Dung
3. How to Fish by Captain Blue Balls
4. Antlers in the Tree Tops by Who-Goosed-The Moose
5. The Gas Station by Who-Pumped-Ethyl
6. Balls in the Mattress by Mister Completely
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decides to replace the missing ball with an onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked. "Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects." "What's that that?" the doctors asked anxiously. "Well, every time I piss, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And
every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get a hard-on."
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