[ZipZap]

Originally Posted by the new me

I have a very happy wife. And I'm happy even though (maybe because) I never met her. Whenever I meet some happy-wife candidate who demonstrates that she is not really happy, it makes me unhappy, so I show her the proverbial door and voila! I am happy again. It's a good system, it works well and I recommend it.

Nowadays I don't even bother to audition them for live-in status. (I made that mistake a few times.) They ask me if I want to die alone. They don't understand that we all die alone, even if there are other people around.

If I must die someday, alone is the way I want it. Imagine being busy dying and all you want is some peace and quiet and people are making a bunch of noise and stepping over your body on their way to the host bar to get another margarita. What a drag. It happens a lot at weddings, even if the groom doesn't realize it at the time.

Mesmerizing. You must be awesome at parties.