It might be cliched’ but it does help. Honestly the thought of giving up crosses my mind regularly. But I am not really wired for giving up. There must be a limit to how much one can endure. I think if I were single, the equation might be different. But people I love rely on me. I will walk through fire for them.
I have this creeping feeling that if there is widespread civil unrest, people like me won’t survive it. The treatments I need are drugs that require special handling, refrigeration, mixing by a pharmacist, IV pumps. It also must be used within hours of mixing. It comes as a powder that needs refrigeration. It is only made in one facility by one manufacturer.
Lately Ive seen shortages of regular drugs. It’s just a matter of time. I suppose that’s why I’m up for the fight. If I go down, I’m taking some commie mother****ers with me.
I’m doing everything I can to get fit for battle conditions. Whether it happens or not. From upping hormone replacement, working out, heat conditioning, 7K ruck marches with 45 lbs of gear, specialized tactical training, Tactical Combat Casualty Care (TCCC), I’m FEMA certified as first responder (this makes it so the local police have no authority over me in a disaster scenario) Radio operator (getting license this month)...etc.
I have to get whatever is ****ed up fixed in this case I don’t have a choice. We are in for a rough ride and I believe our way of life is at extreme risk. Even though I’m old and broken down, I am mustering everything I’ve got to serve this great nation.
It’s the reason I do anything these days - an overwhelming sense of duty and purpose. That’s my version of not giving up. Far too many are willing to sit on the sidelines. I can’t share too much here, but let’s just say my work in this area isn’t casual.