Dayum.........I bet she could suck start a 747
Uglier than a busted blister.
More nervous than a blind queer at a weinie roast.
Sweatin' like a whore in church.
I got tattoos all over my arms and none of 'em say stupid.
Mess with me, I'll cut your face off and wipe my ass with it.
I'm the nicest guy in the world. Until I've been provoked. Then you shall see Satan personified.
Well, feck me freddie.
That damn nut was tighter than a stuck booger.
That damn thing is tighter than a gnats ass stretched across a rain barrel.
Damn, her ass is 2 axe handles and a snuff box wide.
I wouldn't piss on his teeth if his tonsils were on fire.
I got yer hope and change riiiiight heeeere, pal.
If stupidity were corn flakes, you'd be Tony the Tiger.
Yes, I'm drunk. Do you really think I'd bother talking to you were I sober?
Shot at and missed, shit on and hit.
Stop jawin' and start pourin,' you monkey. I'll be damned if I have a sober bartender to tell me when I've had enough.
Grinnin' like a jackass eatin briars through a barbed wire fence.
Stunk bad enough to give a hyena the dry heaves.
Stunk worse than a skunk puking up dead fish.
Thats more fecked up than a football bat.
And many, many more.
Especially when I've been drinking.
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