Clerk at liquor store: Do you need help sir?
Me: Yes, but I've decided to come here instead.
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Woman walking thru mall with new husband.....
And they see her ex coming at them.
Her ex wasn’t happy about the divorce and when he approaches he says to the new husband “how you like f*cking that used pussy”.
New husband says ”it’s really good once I get past the used part”.
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A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat.
“How are you, Tom?” asked Marvin.
“I’m not feeling well today – utterly exhausted,” Tom replied. “I pulled a muscle and it’s killing me.”
“That pulled muscle shouldn’t make you so tired, though.”
“Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times….”
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