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Old 08-23-2019, 5:39pm   #1
VITE1
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Default Some funny stuff for Friday

Naughty but funny 😂

Sensitivity training required ...

1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion, I was able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.

3. I went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

5. The cost of living is now so high that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

6. A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "Well the sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

7. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

8. The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said, "We'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway."

9. WARNING!!! IF YOU GET AN EMAIL TITLED, "NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON," DON'T OPEN IT.

It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.
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