so... A plane full of retirees headed for Florida
was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, “Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our visibility.”
The passengers were numb with fear, except for one… a semi-retired minister.
“Now, now, keep calm, folks,” he said. “Let’s all bow our heads and pray.”
Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray… except fellow near the back.
“Why aren’t you bowing your head to pray?” the minister asked.
“Well, I don’t know how to pray,” replied the passenger.
“Well, just do something religious!” piped up another well meaning passenger.
So the man took up a collection.
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A man is about to have sex with a really fat woman, so he climbs on top of her.
“Can I turn the light off?” he asks.
“Why?” she replies. “Are you feeling a bit shy?”
“No,” he says. “Because it’s burning my ass!”
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