[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by ZipZap

My overwhelming advice is to handle this as business, rather than emotionally driven. I know that's difficult, as I have been in your place.

Have the attorneys draw up a 50/50 deal, with consideration of your kid's education. This includes all assets and liabilities, including both retirements on the asset side. If her attorney, or her, refuses to do so, then go to court and show that she and her attorney are not negotiating with good faith.

Don't know where you live, but the divorce settlements theses days when both spouses are capable of supporting themselves are much more equitable.

The back story of you getting out to support her, as well as other verbal commitments, are meaningless at this point. Just go with the current data and situation. Current judges are pretty sensitive to someone trying to f the other person over. I think some lawyers work on the folklore of the "wife cleaning you out" to get a better agreed settlement from the husband because the husband feels he starts behind the eight ball.

Be fair. Be aggressive when necessary. Find a lawyer that will represent you without sucking your tit for a year or more.

The bold part.

I did what I could to keep her from leaving but once she did, the divorce terms simply became a math problem.