MEN’S ADS:
40-ish: 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR
Good looking: Arrogant
Very good looking: Dumb as a board
Honest: Pathological liar
Likes to cuddle: Insecure mama’s boy
Mature: Older than your father
Physically fit: Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Thoughtful: Says “Excuse me” when he farts
WOMEN’S ADS:
40-ish: 49
Adventurer: Has dated all your friends
Athletic: No chest
Average looking: Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure: Medicated
Fun: Annoying
Gentle: Comatose
Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
