[lspencer534]

I've posted this before, but I wanted to say it again.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body--the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.

As I've aged, I've become less critical and more kind to myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this World too soon...before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I stay awake late and sleep late? I will dance with myself to the wonderful tunes of the 50s and 60s and if I, at the same time. wish to cry over a lost love,

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know that I am sometimes forgetful...but then again some of life is just as well forgotten, and I I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken, How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when your child suffers, or when a pet gets run over by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.

I am blessed to have lived so long and to have my youthful laughs etched into the deep grooves into my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn gray. I can say "No" and mean it. I can say "yes" and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive.

So, you care less about what people think, I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong. I like being old. It has set me free. I am not going to live forever, but while I am here, I will not lament what could have been, or worrying about what will be.