Maybe I haven't been keeping up with current events, but I thought the symptoms of Coronavirus were as follows:
1. An asshole that does not feel clean, no matter how many times you wipe it.
2. An overpowering feeling of shame at the appearance of one's nose and mouth area.
3. An insatiable thirst for water that is expensive, and comes from a plastic bottle.
I'm sure there are more, these are just the ones I came up with off the top of my head. Please feel free to add to the list!
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