OK....a little more Spanish for you Brian. This should help.
Find the biggest guy at the bar and tell him "Tu eres un hijo de la chingada". This means "I want to be your friend".
Then tell him "Yo quiero cochar tu esposa". That means "you have a lovely wife".
Finally, ask him "Lo tienes un pene mas chico que una mosca?" That means "it's been wonderful meeting you".
This should get you started. Dios te bendiga!!
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