little Johnny calls 911...
911, "what's your emergency?"
Johnny: "I'm masturbating too much."
911: "That's not a problem."
Johnny: "Did you hear that, mom?"
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A man walks into a bar, orders ten shots of bourbon, and starts drinking them down as fast as he can,The bartender asks,Hey mister, why are you drinking so fast?" The man replies,You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."What do you have ?"the bartender asks sympathetically.
"About seventy five cents!"
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*air horn sound*
*second air horn sound*
Me: "This isn't deodorant."
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