Lemme tell ya 'bout a cruise.
The first thing to get used to is lines. EVERY single thing they offer comes with a free line of dipshits. Getting on the boat? Line. Food? Line. Picking up your luggage shit? I despise lines.
Then the food. Sure. Cruises are known for their food right? Only you can't
eat the ****ing food until every asshole has taken a picture of it. "Did you get a shot of the lobster Myrtle?!"
Then you're assigned a dinner table -for the formal meal- with half a dozen complete strangers. And what do you do? You introduce yourself and tell a little about yourself! RONG!
At some point along the way, if you're lucky (?) the Captain comes to your table! Ooooh! Ahhhhh! The Captain! Listen Captain Stubbing. You're 'sailing' around the Caribbean a mile off shore. The worst weather they're likely to encounter is a ****ing rain cloud. My 86 year old mother could do that half way through a box of wine.
Then, you disembark (that's get off the stupid boat) for your island destination! This is the best part until it's time to return to the Love Boat and there's no chance you'll miss your ride because the blow a ****ing horn to let you know you'd better get back.
Then you have the 'Day at Sea.' You island hop all the way down and sail nonstop on the way back. If you don't get to the pool area by 4:00am you can forget about getting a chair of ANY sort.
And then, the last day. Your room (Cabin I
guess) has 35 envelopes on the bed. Every dope you said so much as hello to wants a tip. Room service, the luggage boy, (I guess they're called Porters or some shit) The bartender, the host, the waiter and his helper, the guy shoveling coal into the boiler. EVERYONE wants a tip.
Never again as long as I live.