[SLO C5]

When I was 14 my family got a beagle puppy. The dog was terrible, so we named him "Pita."

This stood for PITA = Pain In The Ass

When the dog became too much of a hassle it was a little bit difficult to sell him, but the new owners never knew what the name really meant.

__________________________

These are as old as the Internet, so old that they might ne new to you:

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover or Spot". I call mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for "Sex". He said, "I'd like to have one too". Then I said, "But this
is a dog". He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old". He said, "You must have been quite a kid". When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk
said, "Me too".

One day I entered sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T. V." He called me a "Show-off".

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married". The Judge said, "Me too". Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me too".
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning"? I said, "I'm looking for Sex". My case comes up Friday.

_______________________________

Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc?
The next time you get a dog, name it: Mypenis

Why, you ask? Well just look at some of the great excuses you can use for school, work, and general conversation!

-I did do my homework but Mypenis ate it!
-Oh no, Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
-Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
-I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
-Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
-Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
-If Mypenis begs at the dinner table, I just tell it to LAY DOWN!
-I love giving Mypenis a bath, but Mypenis doesn't like cold water.
-At night, I like to snuggle with Mypenis.
-Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
-Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!
-Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
-Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
-Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
-I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
-I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
-Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
-I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore.
He just plays dead.
-Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.
-HELP! Mypenis is lost...can you help me find him?
-Sorry to be driving slow officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
-Sorry to be driving so fast, officer. I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.
-Mypenis got fleas from the neighbors dog.
-Anytime Mypenis gets too excited, I just scratch him behind the head.
-Please do not feed Mypenis table scraps!
-Do you think you could feed Mypenis while I'm on vacation?
-I have a cat that plays very well with Mypenis.
-When I take Mypenis for a ride in the car, I roll down the window so it can hang it's head out