What embarrassing stories do your parents tell about you?
 

When she was alive, my Mom would sometimes weave this into a conversation: "When Larry was little, he brought me the first bird he had ever killed with his BB gun. It was a hummingbird! I felt so sad for the poor little hummingbird, but I had to tell him how good he was!" Then she'd laugh, while I kinda said to myself, "Why the feck do you want to tell that?" She didn't mean it maliciously, just thought it was cute.

I thought that was as bad as the parents of girls I dated in high school who had a pic of their daughter naked on a bear skin rug (when she was a baby, of course).

my dad loves to tell the story of when I knelt down on a hook.

That caught you in the nads?

What??

There was the time with the sheep...

:leaving:

My Dad used to tell the story about me being breastfed from a black woman on a train from Missouri.

Never bothered me and it explained a lot of things later...

Can you elaberate?:rofl:

Did he warn you about doing deep knee bends in a cucumber patch?

My step dad used to tell the story of when I was 12 and I flipped off a school bus. He thought I was flipping him off.

The part he left out was how he took me inside and beat the hell out of me, and ripped my sweatshirt so bad that the only thing left on me was the collar.

None, I really didn't do anything embarrassing when I was an imp.

I'd prefer not to. It still haunts me.

No stories. Nothing to see here, keep moving. :leaving:

I was a mean little bastard.
Just a few:

The incident when I shot my sister with a BB pistol when I and a cohort robbed her lemonade stand.

The series of "Fake Secret Admirer" letters I sent to my younger sister.

The "Croquet mallet upside a neighborhood boys head" incident.

But my favorite was when we were on a family vacation to Florida when I was 13, and a budding Capitalist. Across the street from our hotel was a convienence store that sold a certain type of cracker that my sister's absofukinlutely loved.
I found out before they did, and went and bought the entire supply on hand, even got a discount from the owner for buying all 24 packs.
He had been selling them for 25 cents a pack. He let me buy them all for 20 cents a pack.
Much to my sister's dimay, I put my price at 60 cents a pack, and they begrudgingly paid it for a few days 'til my mom found out and made me share.
No biggie. I had made my money and only had 3-4 packs left.
Still pissed me off, though.
I saw it as a money making opportunity.
They saw it as me being selfish.
Buncha damn liberals.

:rofl:

My parents always tell me the story of my conception on my birthday.... and also tell it to my wife. It's really not fun to have to hear.

I'm glad that couch got donated to charity years ago. :willy:

How much did you try to charge your mother? I bet that is why she made you share.:rofl:
Me? I was a perfect angel and never gave anyone any trouble at all. As a matter of fact, I'm still a perfect angel.:D

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

My mom is fond of telling the story of when I "shot" myself. I was a few months shy of my 5th birthday and a few of my older cousins, ages about 6 and 7 conned me into smacking .22 bullets with a hammer. We had eventually had one that blew a chunk of the casing into my face and cut a gash into my forehead. Now in my mind at the time this qualified as being shot and in every TV show I had seen getting shot = I’m going to die, but just to make sure I ran home to ask my mom while my cousins ran and hid. At home mom was preparing something at the counter and hadn’t seen that blood was pouring down my face when I asked her if I was going to die. Ever the realist mom says “Of course honey, we all die someday”. Now being sure I was dying I set into a balling fit which in turn got her to finally turn around and see her son covered in blood which sent her into a fit and hearing two people having a fit drew dad and my uncle in who flipped out when I could muster up the answer to what happened…”I was shot”. I was rushed at 100+mph to the hospital on surface streets, the police were called, the whole nine yards all over what turned out to be a cut closed up by a few stitches.

getting kicked out of driving school for driving too fast and giving the finger is always mentioned under their breath.

Now THAT... is an awesome story. :rofl: