An engineer dies and is sent to hell
 

An engineer dies and is sent to hell.

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.
The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily.
The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.

One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


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A couple is running a bit low on cash,

so the wife decides to become a prostitute.

The next morning, she announces that she got $101.

"Who gave you one dollar, honey?" the husband asks.

"Sweetie, they all did!"