I have to come up with a eulogy now.
 

So my father passed away July 9th and my mom had him cremated. She wants us to all go to Denver in November for what would have been his 80th birthday to spread his ashes up at their cabin. Me being the oldest son have been asked to say some words. I haven't been very close to my father in several years, like 25 or more, so all my recollections are from the first 17 years of my life. I think I got the best years of my dads parenting and my brothers and sisters got the leftovers. I feel badly for them sometimes but it is what it is at this point and we cant go back. I cant help but feel when they hear what I have to say it will sound like bragging, even though its just the truth from my perspective. I had a great childhood, dad took me to ball games, we played catch, he helped with my homework. Later on we had beer and dogs at ball games and took our corvettes to local cruise ins. My dad always told me he loved me and was proud of me, and I really don't have any 'closure issues' with his passing. He didn't know who I was when I saw him in June, but I knew that would be the case from talking with my mom. I guess Ill just start writing and see what I come up with. Maybe ask the others to come up with some words of their own. I guess my question is; how did you eulogize your father, if you have had to?

that sounds like a pretty good start.

"my dad loved me and took good care of me"

it doesn't have to be long, but it should be from the heart.

I didn't speak at my father's funeral; no particular reason, the officiating minister just didn't ask if anyone wanted to say anything. I did offer my thoughts at my mother's funeral, & simply described some good memories & my thoughts of her as a good mother. I'd definitely invite your siblings to share their thoughts, maybe with a little advance warning though? I was caught by surprise at my mother's service & had to quickly come up with some words. Not always easy for me, but it was OK.

And I'm sorry you lost your Dad.

And, you can finish it with:

And now, we do what has to be done with all good men, we have to give him back to God, with thanks for letting us borrow him for too short a time.

in one sense, we are sad that dad is gone from us, but in another sense, we have cause to rejoice, as dad is now in the eternal presence of God in heaven.

When my mom passed last year, my Dad asked me to write something with my sister. She was drawing a blank. But I had one word in my mind for my mom and built something based on that.

Grace

I had a eulogy written and gave it to my sister and she liked it. She tweaked it here and there, but the guts of my eulogy were intact. And it said it well.

You have to write from your perspective. That's all you've got if you want it honest. Maybe ask your siblings for some input or thoughts and adjust as needed to accommodate their perspectives as well. You're off to a good start. Acknowledging their views will help make it a great statement for your dad.

We spread my mom's ashes back in July in Rocky Mountain National Park with all us siblings and our families present. Dad said a few words as well, but it was special and poignant.

And one of the toughest things I've ever done.

Thank you for the suggestions. Their cabin is near Cripple Creek, its a beautiful and peaceful place that he and mom built with their own hands. Mom hates funerals and basically everything about death so I doubt she will say anything. My sisters did not take the news well at all so I doubt they will speak and if I see my brother start to lose it, I will too. I think Ill keep it short and sweet. I was thinking Id write down every thought that came to mind and organize them into a speech and then condense it down to one paragraph for the service. I figure Ill just put the entire thing on FB as a tribute to him so people can see who he really was.

Sorry about your dad.....both my parents died in same year, I was too upset to speak at their wakes.

Try to use a little humor in the eulogy. It will make it easier for you and everyone else in the room.:yesnod:

I remember being surprised to say something at Dad's gathering in the church basement after the funeral......and so I looked out over the folks and spotted Dad's business partners.....and so I addressed them in particular.....

Saying that Dad and they were the last honest men in Wash DC......a gasp went up in the group, and I sat down......

the truth was spoken.....

:seasix::kimblair:

Just a suggestion. Once you have it written out, rehearse it over and over until you can say it without getting overly emotional. I have a tough time with these things, but if I go into robot mode, it makes it easier.

Being in a place they loved will make it easier when the ceremony happens.

Wish you the best and it sounds like you have a good plan.