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SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 9:39pm

Talk me out of this
 
I’m getting involved in something bad for me. With bad people.

Nothing good can come from this. The work is insurmountable. My ego is at stake!

Yet, I must do it. I must grab the devil by his testicles and wrench thy sperm noodle asunder. It is my destiny.

I’m starting a big band. Holy shit. I said it.

Now if you don’t dig my wavelength big mama, let me lay it out for you, cuz.

Starting a band is ****ing hard. Musicians are dip wads. Starting a big band means a lot more dip wads.

Drums
Bass
Guitar (not me)
Singer (me)
Singer two (chick)
Piano and organ dude
Sax
Trumpet

Did I leave anything out? Like a ****ing xylophone?

That’s a lot of mouths to feed, baby. Also, we got rules.
  • You will buy a specific black suit and wear a tie
  • You must make 95% of gigs and rehearsals
  • Rehearsals pay $0 you are lucky you don’t have to pay for the room
  • You take whatever cash I give you and STFU
  • Be sober, on-time, and share my values as a musician and American

Actually it took me about five days to get commitments from all the players. It turns out, everybody is tired of doing mercenary gigs. There are no “bands” (as in consistent members playing consistent shit). Just sub after sub after sub.

I did a show where the only actual member of the band was me. Everyone else was a sub. That’s normal around here.

Forming an actual band is so old school. We already have The Impossible Band booked at a club.

This will either be the most aggravating thing ever or the coolest. I’m hoping to make tens of dollars.

ratflinger 07-13-2021 9:41pm

Haven't heard you sing, but have heard you play - you sure you don't want to play & sing?

ZipZap 07-13-2021 9:46pm

Was totally in until I saw the be sober thing. You'll need to move on without me. Sorry.:sadangel:

SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 9:47pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratflinger (Post 1897133)
Haven't heard you sing, but have heard you play - you sure you don't want to play & sing?

Ah, you came to the biggest gig and our last show before the Hong Kong Flooie.

It will be the first time ever to perform without a guitar in my hands. Usually I’m the primary singer. Doing both at a high level requires one to give.

I have insanely great guitar players. This project is bigger than me. I pray I’m not one of those American Idol dudes who can’t tell he is a terrible singer. We shall see.

I’ll be singing

Count Basie
Billie Holiday
Joe Williams
Louis Prima
Ray Charles
Charles Brown

All the easy stuff.

SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 9:48pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZipZap (Post 1897136)
Was totally in until I saw the be sober thing. You'll need to move on without me. Sorry.:sadangel:

Certain natural substances are allowed because jazz can’t happen without it.

NEED-A-VETTE 07-13-2021 9:52pm

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin (Post 1897132)
I must grab the devil by his testicles and wrench thy sperm noodle asunder.

Attachment 58944

ZipZap 07-13-2021 9:54pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE (Post 1897141)

Yer on a roll tonight:rofl:

SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 10:03pm

Here are two singing examples at opposite ends of the spectrum



Fast forward to 2:42 for the good stuff

ZipZap 07-13-2021 10:06pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin (Post 1897147)

Fast forward to 2:42 for the good stuff

What is this? YouPorn?:rofl:

NEED-A-VETTE 07-13-2021 10:12pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin (Post 1897147)
Here are two singing examples at opposite ends of the spectrum

https://youtu.be/VB6cDzRBB2Q

https://youtu.be/P0g99BAbyaw

Fast forward to 2:42 for the good stuff https://youtu.be/aLJP6Xcu1TI

Enjoyed all that. But I have your Christmas album, so I already knew you were talented. :D

SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 10:20pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE (Post 1897150)
Enjoyed all that. But I have your Christmas album, so I already knew you were talented. :D

Ha ha, then you know I’m ripping off Soul Man Sam on my version!

SnikPlosskin 07-13-2021 10:22pm

Here’s a smokin one


ZipZap 07-13-2021 10:28pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin (Post 1897152)
Here’s a smokin one

https://youtu.be/BejdiYKmKwg

That is awesome!

Did this come from just a "jam", or did all the players know Roly Poly?

Bill 07-13-2021 10:39pm

Is the OP on a mission from God?


snide 07-14-2021 6:03am

Best wishes, Pete! You know you can pull this off! :thumbs::thumbs:

:cheers:

Norm 07-14-2021 6:49am

Good luck! :seasix:

SnikPlosskin 07-14-2021 7:17am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZipZap (Post 1897153)
That is awesome!

Did this come from just a "jam", or did all the players know Roly Poly?

Members in this case are from Asleep at the Wheel and George Strait. They knew it but didn’t know I was going to call it. I’ve never played it before.

That’s the biggest difference in how we do things now - no rehearsal, no song list always new players. We will keep doing that for that show.

This other project will have song list, steady players, rehearsals.

Steve_R 07-14-2021 1:36pm

1 Attachment(s)
:leaving:
.

Rob 07-14-2021 1:52pm

Needs more cowbell :seasix:

Torqaholic 07-14-2021 3:11pm

I don't try talking anyone out of anything. Waste of breath... But maybe you could look into starting a new religion? Sounds like no less effort and then there's the added benefit of being tax exempt.


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