Nothing like a surprise shot to the face
 

I was getting a small cooler off the top shelf in the garage and it came down and smashed me in the face right above my right eye. Drew blood. Possible shiner.

In no way did my wife sucker punch me with a sock full of soap bars In my sleep. I am free to leave anytime I choose and I am not being held against my will.

Supposed to have gotten it fighting some dude over a woman or beating a Antifa shitbag or you wrapped your Harley around a tree... :kimblair:

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Brother-in-law sucker punched me in my face one day,when I fell down I landed next to a pipe ....picked it up and hit him over the head.....he went to hospital, I went home.....just thought I would share.

Ah, good times.

Ok, that cooler thing was a lie. What really happened is I got a call from the Governor. He said “I know you are retired but Texas needs you.” I played hard to get but eventually gave in. My mission is to rescue a super hot female diplomat with ample bewbs being held by a terrorist group deep in South Austin.

I’m going under cover and needed a cover story. I’m a pro boxer named a Rocky II and I am down with communism. I was in a bar fight with six dudes and a tranny because the Penguin was shooting his mouth off and insulted some dame.

To look the part I grabbed the handset of a 70’s era phone and hit myself as hard as I can in the face. I was aiming for my nose but hit my eye. The second time I hit my own ear. I also accidentally burned both arms and my back with cigars.

For the record my wife loves me and would never hook a car battery up to my nads.

please help me

You had me until cigars...

My ex-BIL threw two punches at me once, I dodged the first, and blocked the second. He called the cops and said I assaulted him because I "touched him first" when I blocked the punch.

Apparently, in MA it is a state law that even if someone is attacking you, you are legally required to try to run away before using any kind of force against your attacker, or YOU are guilty of assault/battery. Luckily, two witnesses said I backed up a step in the process of dodging the first punch, and when the cops asked my why I didn't retreat further, I said that I didn't want to back up any further because I knew their was a curb behind me, I have a bad knee, and didn't want to take my eyes off of the asshole, so I chose the block. The two beat cops were still going to arrest me, when a Sergeant showed up and bought my story.

I told this to my wife, and she said "So, in MA, you are LEGALLY REQUIRED to act like a *****?" Yes dear, that's the reality in liberal land.

fitting ya live there. ICNLT

I was expecting a very different post after seeing the title. :leaving:

Me too

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Except, I don't live there. I live in NJ, my SIL lives in Watertown MA. The incident occurred outside her house.

Pretty crazy