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Norm 05-20-2019 8:36am

New Preamble Of The Constitution
 
'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some
common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot
of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they
require a Bill of NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but
no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based
on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You
may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the
most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in
need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of professional couch
potatoes.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but
from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public
health care.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised
if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or
a life of leisure..

ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a
job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you
to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot
easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came
from, English is our language. Learn it!

ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage.
This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you
are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no
faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST
is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable
with it.


Attributed to Lewis Napper, Jackson, MS.


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