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Old 08-10-2017, 11:48pm   #1 (permalink)
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Default Adventures in Dog Feeding (or: How to Survive a Fall at an Advanced Age)

Adventures in Dog Feeding
(or: How to Survive a Fall at an Advanced Age)

So here's the setup: I go out to feed Bit, our outside dog. I keep her food in a metal garbage can in the utility building on the end of the patio. It has a small metal ramp leading into it.

Well, between the rain and the leaves the ramp was a little slick. I reached into the can with my right hand and scooped out a cup of food. As I stood and put my weight on my left foot it decided, on its own, that it would be better off on the patio below. My right foot, not wishing to be alone, joined in the adventure. This left my somewhat twisting torso suspended temporarily in the air. On the way down to the patio to join my feet my body apparently thought it would be a good idea to slow the fall by bouncing off the doorway to the shed. My right shoulder blade grabbed the doorway but was unable to really make much difference in the speed of my descent while my left hand flailed at the other door succeeding only in pulling it almost off the track. I landed on my right hip on the ramp, partway in the building, feet on the patio, and still holding the cup of dog food up high much like a drunk does the beer he does not want to spill.

The dog looked at me like, "What the hell, dude?"

So now the right hip and shoulder blade are hurting; there is a pretty good scrape (and likely a bruise to follow) on the lower part of the right shoulder blade; my left wrist and hand feel sprained; my neck is throbbing in the left side at the base of my skull; and my ego took somewhat of a flogging.

But, on a positive note I invented a couple of new words and I only spilled less than a dozen morsels of doog food.
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Old 08-10-2017, 11:53pm   #2 (permalink)
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That's gotta' be bringing some pain in the next couple of days..

Besides entertaining the dog, you have the opportunity to review your
food can approach! Sorry for your hurts!

Sometimes the most expressive new words are born of pain!

Feel better soon!
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Old 08-10-2017, 11:53pm   #3 (permalink)
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If that hand and wrist are still hurting tomorrow, I'd get them X-rayed. There's lots of little bones there. Hope you're feeling better soon.
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Old 08-11-2017, 12:00am   #4 (permalink)
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Sounds like you need a new body. Your current one is driving all over the place.
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Old 08-11-2017, 12:10am   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OddBall View Post
Sounds like you need a new body. Your current one is driving all over the place.
Well, I'm not really that advanced in age (not quite sixty). Just a believer in the quote from Hunter S. Thompson: “LIfe's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit, what a ride!”
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Old 08-11-2017, 12:51am   #6 (permalink)
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Change doctors and tell them you are 75. They'll think you're in great shape and that you take very good care of yourself.
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Old 08-11-2017, 02:18am   #7 (permalink)
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Go to the hardware store and get some skateboard tape for that slicker-than-owl shit ramp of yours.
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Old 08-11-2017, 06:59am   #8 (permalink)
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Pics of dogga?




(get naked - go roll around in the dirt - feel better)
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Old 08-11-2017, 07:30am   #9 (permalink)
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Well written ! That's Reader's Digest material right there.
Be glad you didn't rap your coconut !
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Old 08-11-2017, 08:00am   #10 (permalink)
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It sucks getting older. But the other option is worse.

I take just a little more time doing things when I feel it's slippery or other things that will result in me hurting myself. I've spent way to much money fixing the damage I did to myself when I was younger.

And get the neck and wrist looked at.
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Old 08-11-2017, 08:15am   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Milton Fox View Post
Pics of dogga?




(get naked - go roll around in the dirt - feel better)
Adventures in Dog Feeding (or: How to Survive a Fall at an Advanced Age)-imag3653.jpg
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Old 08-12-2017, 07:25am   #12 (permalink)
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OUCH! That sounded really painful and funny at the same time! Hope you mend up quickly. Sounds like a good soak in the tub might help with the soreness. That and ice packs.

Cool fur baby!
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Old 08-12-2017, 08:17am   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Six View Post
Go to the hardware store and get some skateboard tape for that slicker-than-owl shit ramp of yours.
Harbor Freight actually has rubber steps that I use. You can find very nice nonskid paint at Lowes if you want to really do it right.
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