Preacher Finds A Drunk Lawyer Stumbling Through The Woods

[VITE1]

Preacher Finds A Drunk Lawyer Stumbling Through The Woods. He Was Shocked When He Said This.


An Lawyer is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk lawyer shouts, “Yes, I am.”
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk lawyer replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, brother?”
The drunk lawyer answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk lawyer again – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk lawyer staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,
“Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

Yes, I stole it off FB and modified it to make Spence Smile.

[lspencer534]

:rofl::rofl::rofl: Good one!

[Barn Babe]

I had no idea Spence was lost :confused:

[Kevin_73]

I had no idea Spence was lost :confused:

I thought it was Jesus who was lost.

[Barn Babe]

I thought it was Jesus who was lost.

Now that you mention it, I've never seen Jesus and Spencer in the same place at the same time... :willy:

[VITE1]

I had no idea Spence was lost :confused:

He does go "Hunting" My guess is he hides booze in the woods and, after a few G&T's, he pretends the Easter St Bernard left them for him.

[lspencer534]

He does go "Hunting" My guess is he hides booze in the woods and, after a few G&T's, he pretends the Easter St Bernard left them for him.

:lol:

[ApexOversteer]

Now that you mention it, I've never seen Jesus and Spencer in the same place at the same time... :willy:

I know he can walk on the waters, but can he walk on that much gin?

[lspencer534]

True story: It's no secret that I grew up on a farm, dirt poor and all. When I was about 8-years-old my Grandfather insisted that I join our local Church, a tiny 3-room Baptist Church. FF to the baptism: It was at the local swimming hole that had a small spillway with a pretty fast current of really cold water.

I walked with the preacher into about 4' of water, freezing my ass off. The preacher began blessing my soul or exorcising me, something like that. Then suddenly he put a wash cloth over my nose and dunked me. 10 seconds passed, the 20, then 30. I tapped the preacher on his thigh. No response. At 40-45 seconds I bit him on his thigh.

That got the reaction I wanted: He un-submerged me quickly, and I grabbed a big breath. I also called him an asshole under my breath. "What'd you say, boy???", he yelled. I just gave him a dirty look and got out of the water. Azzhat.