Heh, heh, heh, heh.........:D

[Kerrmudgeon]

A man in a Florida supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.

The man persisted and asked to see the manager. The boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager: 'Some ******* wants to buy half a head of lettuce. As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'

Canada, sir,' the boy replied.

Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked.

The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.'

Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada.'

No shit?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'


:rofl:.....:canada:

[Kerrmudgeon]

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j287/jacks66/Misc/grandpaclock_zps5dtnnjib.gif

[Mike Mercury]

http://canadashadow.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/canadian-mob.jpg?w=550

http://www.toonpool.com/user/1292/files/the_canadian_seal_hunt_ii_165965.jpg

http://canadashadow.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/canadian-csi.jpg?w=550

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/animals-canadian_geese-eh-wild_birds-bird-colloquialism-dren404_low.jpg

[Kerrmudgeon]

https://s.yimg.com/fz/api/res/1.2/b_Y_zrqqj2aUQAgRmd.N8w--/YXBwaWQ9c3JjaGRkO2g9NzMwO3E9OTU7dz03NTU-/http://edocs.lib.sfu.ca/projects/Cartoons/fullsize/4-2004-11-09.gif

[Kerrmudgeon]

https://www.facebook.com/500PlusHPForSale/videos/939200856117653/
:rofl:

[Kerrmudgeon]

One for classic Corvette restorers........:D



I was talking to a friend who is a long-time Corvette guy and a devoted C-1 lover. He told me he had become a judge for the NCRS, but confided he was having a tough time of it.

"I've had these old cars for years, and thought I knew them well, but this judging is rough!" he said.

I suggested he re-read the judging manuals a few times. "I've read them till I'm blue in the face already!" he moaned.

I asked whether he had asked his fellow judges for advice. "Yes, and they've been very supportive, but I just can't seem to feel comfortable in the job".

I thought a minute. "Look, this may sound personal, but have you been circumcised?? I asked.

"Well, yes, I have" he replied "but what does that have to do with it?"

"Well, there's your problem!" I told him. "You have to be a complete prick to be a NCRS judge!"

:jester:

[Kerrmudgeon]

Banjo playing in background........:D

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right-butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

:jester: