View Full Version : If you need to make an essay or a report longer...
lspencer534
12-05-2015, 2:00pm
Just add another "the" beside "the" you already have, and it'll make the essay or the the report longer. The size of the the report or essay, depending on the the length you already have, will grow substantially longer. And no one will ever notice what you did.
Don't believe me? Go back and read the paragraph above again.
Jeff '79
12-05-2015, 2:10pm
Just add another "the" beside "the" you already have, and it'll make the essay or the the report longer. The size of the the report or essay, depending on the the length you already have, will grow substantially longer. And no one will ever notice what you did.
Don't believe me? Go back and read the paragraph above again.
Yours looks pretty short to me
I actually had to read it twice to notice it... :cool1:
Fasglas
12-05-2015, 2:47pm
Had you not pointed out what you did, I doubt I'd have ever noticed the the trick. Interesting.
boracayjohnny
12-05-2015, 3:20pm
Increase the font, decrease the margins, are two quick tricks that may have been used in the past by a friend I know. :leaving:
The last font could probably be read by the ISS as they pass over. :D
brevity is the soul of wit.
lspencer534
12-05-2015, 3:34pm
brevity is the soul of wit.
Is wit the sould of brevity?
How much fud could a Fudpuck puck if a Fudpuck could puck fud?
Don't ask me why....
Is wit the sould of brevity?
How much fud could a Fudpuck puck if a Fudpuck could puck fud?
Don't ask me why....
stealing Annie's Gin again?
mrvette
12-05-2015, 3:44pm
Hey Spence, you worked for the .gov???? must have.....
the kids' mom, my ex.....finally got around to reading some report from a ~GS13 level co-worker of hers, about 6 months after it was circulated in the agency.....and in the middle of the report/paper he said....IF anyone reads this CALL me.......my ex read it, cracked up, and called him.....she was the first and only one to call.......:issues:
THAT is our Fed.gov......all through.....degrees is sociology thinking they are smart or worth a damn......
:issues:
lspencer534
12-05-2015, 4:00pm
Hey Spence, you worked for the .gov???? must have.....
the kids' mom, my ex.....finally got around to reading some report from a ~GS13 level co-worker of hers, about 6 months after it was circulated in the agency.....and in the middle of the report/paper he said....IF anyone reads this CALL me.......my ex read it, cracked up, and called him.....she was the first and only one to call.......:issues:
THAT is our Fed.gov......all through.....degrees is sociology thinking they are smart or worth a damn......
:issues:
True story: Back in the days of the typewriter, a local legal secretary was typing a brief to be filed in the State Supreme Court. Like most briefs it was long and dull, and she was getting very bored with it after so many revisions. In the middle of the brief she typed in caps: "IS ANYONE EVEN READING THIS CRAP?!?".
She gave it to her boss to look over. Around quitting time she stuck her head in his bosses office and asked if the brief looked okay. "Looked good!", he said. "I made some copies and filed it with the Supreme Court about an hour ago."
lspencer534
12-05-2015, 4:01pm
stealing Annie's Gin again?
It's Saturday. (Isn't it...?)
Fasglas
12-05-2015, 5:00pm
It's Saturday. (Isn't it...?)
Any day ending in "Y" ?
Right?
brevity is the soul of wit.
And now you know why most people in higher education are nitwits.
We had reports to file for every ship we rode and did a training mission on. I was team leader and responsible for the context of the report. We would always make a mad dash for the finish line. Typically we conducted the last set of drills the evening before returning to port. This left my team putting in all their observations and then I'd make out the final report with recommendations on what the ship needed to accomplish or correct to pass their upcoming propulsion exams. Inevitability I'd work most of the time until two or three in the morning to finish up and get all of our data compiled.
I always had to be extremely careful and proof read each of the inputs. I had a group of clowns who would type in such things as "Has not done any training since Moby Dick was a minnow" or "There are not enough trees to produce the amount of paper needed to properly address the underlying lack of knowledge by the crew".
Of course they would throw these in in obscure sections and it was up to me to find all of these comments and remove them before the final out brief. Kept me young to say the least.
Oh and we didn't need to worry about length of said report, it was usually around 160 pages for a normal three day underway training exercise. The executive summary was usually about 20 pages with our recommendations.
I look back and realize why I wanted to retire and move on.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off -- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me. :blabla:
lspencer534
12-05-2015, 8:13pm
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off -- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me. :blabla:
:drunk:
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