Another FRIDAY, so go ahead, make me laugh!

[Kerrmudgeon]

The wedding night....

On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mother," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, "That's alright dear, your father has only six inches."

:D

I know, it's lame, but it's all I can find right now.....more to come later.:yesnod:

Whatchu got mang? :bigears::popcorns:

[Ms.Gem]

I got nothing but melting ice.:rofl::leaving:

[JMC12]

You hear about the redneck that got pulled over by a state trooper? Trooper pulled him over, looked him over and asked him, got any ID, redneck looks at him and says, about what!!

[Vet4jdc]

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven.

There, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

[Uncle Meat]

http://www.pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/funny-gifs-dont-judge-too-quickly.gif

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/funny-gifs-white-people-cant-dance.gif

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/funny-pictures-sloth-waking-up-animated-gif.gif

http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-gif-sloth-dropped-too-hard.gif

http://lh5.ggpht.com/-5MHhPntHkpA/VAnT8BS3tBI/AAAAAAABM8w/P7JWSFMdEGw/funny%252520or%252520die%252520gif_thumb%25255B2%25255D.gif?imgmax=800

http://909things.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/funny-gif-baby-girl-too-tired-to-eat.gif

[Kerrmudgeon]

http://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.corvetteforum.com-vbulletin/567x839/80-att00001_0ac7019f4b8f95919dde2bec42b1581adc0e9a5e.jpg

:jester:

From the tales of Woe... "The "Road Trip"

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests, tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US and we know very little about it.”

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”

The doctor answers, “I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.”

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.” The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”

The next day, the man seeks out Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.”

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate..!”

“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.

“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Faw off by itself...!”

:jester:


The Carpool Lane – Italian style
https://tbi69.wordpress.com/2011/01/...-carpool-lane/

:jester:


An oldie, but pretty damn funny.......:yesnod:
https://youtu.be/9yRJiP4f_EU

:jester:

[Kerrmudgeon]

I got nothing but melting ice.:rofl::leaving:

ice or ice cream? You're SOOOOO bad! :rofl: :msgem:

[Kerrmudgeon]

A conversation between a guy & gal in a bar . . . .

"You remind me of my pinkie toe."

"Why, because I'm small and cute?"

"No, because after a few more drinks I'll probably be banging you on my coffee table."

:D

[NeedSpeed]

http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Rises_Every_Morning.jpg

[99 pewtercoupe]

A conversation between a guy & gal in a bar . . . .

"You remind me of my pinkie toe."

"Why, because I'm small and cute?"

"No, because after a few more drinks I'll probably be banging you on my coffee table."

:D

:lol::lol:

[NeedSpeed]

http://www.evilmilk.com/galleries/overflow-70/overflow-24.jpg

[GentleBen]

4067

[DukeAllen]

http://files.sharenator.com/395589.jpg

[DukeAllen]

http://s6.favim.com/orig/61/lefunny.net-funny-jokes-quotes-animals-pictures-Favim.com-571861.jpg

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Funny-jokes-A-southern-state-trooper.jpg

http://rs2img.memecdn.com/remember-dont-make-to-funny-jokes_o_770544.webp

[Kerrmudgeon]

Karin and Paul, both in their 80s, lived in The Villages, in Florida.

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each others' company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Paul asked Karin out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite their ages, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and with age being no inhibitor, Karin soon joined Paul for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts…..



Paul was thinking:'If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler.’

Karin was thinking:'If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose.'


:rofl::hump:

[Oh-yaa]

Six out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
:leaving:

[Kerrmudgeon]

http://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.corvetteforum.com-vbulletin/564x417/80-11209702_543861015753356_7965254651629795559_n_1__a072165520c77eb900385a20bf434da653b834ff.jpg

[Ms.Gem]

ice or ice cream? You're SOOOOO bad! :rofl: :msgem:
I am not! :msgem:
4067

:rofl::rofl::rofl: