Little Johnny....

[OddBall]

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an
argument about who is better: boys or girls. After a while, Johnny stands up
and pulls down his shorts saying "Boys are better than girls 'cuz you haven't
got one of these!!"

Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn't got one of those
between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A
little while later she comes back out with a big smile on her face.

"My mum says girls are better than boys," she says.

"No, they're not," says Johnny pulling down his shorts again, "You haven't got
one of these!"

Jane looks at him, raises her skirt, and pulls down her panties. "My mum says
that as long as I've got one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!!"

[Barn Babe]

:lol:

[DukeAllen]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother ****er! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your ***** before the end of the day!"

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"

[OddBall]

:funnier:

[lspencer534]

Little Johnny was hurt in an automobile accident and wound up on crutches for his permanently injured legs. He happened to go to a travelling salvation show where a faith healer was preaching. The preacher asked people who needed to be healed to stand up. Many people stood up and each one walked up to the preacher to be healed by the preacher laying hands on them.

The preacher finally called on Little Johnny to come onto the stage. Johnny mad it up there with great difficulty. As Johnny stood facing the preacher and the preacher beseeching God to heal Johnny, the preached commanded Johnny to throw away his left crutch, which Johnny did.

After more prayer and laying on of hands, the preacher commanded Johnny to throw away his right crutch, which Johnny did. Do you know what then happened?

Yep...Johnny fell on his ass.

[boracayjohnny]

Wow, y'all found out about my underage shenanigans.


True story: For the longest time I thought I had a long name. My dad referred to me often as DamnitJohnny.

[OldSarge]

:D