NCC-1701
02-18-2015, 9:11pm
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's you story?"
So the first man replies, "Well, for a while, I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try and catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors about ground! Yikes! By now, I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.
So finally, I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell - but even after falling 25 stories, the fell in to the the bushes, stunned but OK. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger to to me, and I had a heart attack and died right there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man come up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full and, again, asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor or my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning, I must have slipped or something because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony.
I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally, I just let go, but again go lucky and fell in the bushes below, stunned but alright. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, the refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death and let the man in.
The third man came up, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." :lol:
So the first man replies, "Well, for a while, I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try and catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors about ground! Yikes! By now, I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.
So finally, I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell - but even after falling 25 stories, the fell in to the the bushes, stunned but OK. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger to to me, and I had a heart attack and died right there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man come up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full and, again, asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor or my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning, I must have slipped or something because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony.
I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally, I just let go, but again go lucky and fell in the bushes below, stunned but alright. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, the refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death and let the man in.
The third man came up, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." :lol: