Kerrmudgeon
02-15-2015, 6:00pm
...for the politically incorrect! Some old, some new, all pretty funny....:D
- Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite -
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
-I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what
they had in mind.
- After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up
to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
- Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through
the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
- After years of research, scientists have discovered what
makes women happy. Nothing.
-Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the
Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
-An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan!
He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s
doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!
-Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter
speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her
mouth shut.
- A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her
husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a
compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
-Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more,
my pretty face or my sexy body? 'Hubby looks her up and
down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!
-An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through,
the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out
a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid!'
:jester:
- Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite -
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
-I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what
they had in mind.
- After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up
to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
- Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through
the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
- After years of research, scientists have discovered what
makes women happy. Nothing.
-Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the
Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
-An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan!
He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s
doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!
-Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter
speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her
mouth shut.
- A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her
husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a
compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
-Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more,
my pretty face or my sexy body? 'Hubby looks her up and
down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!
-An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through,
the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out
a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid!'
:jester: