Fart walk. Anyone try it?

[SnikPlosskin]

Well, I ate dinner. Yay me. Of course this activity is followed by tremendous pain as I work my way through the latest round of complications with my stupid guts (Does anyone know the status of the God recall on guts?).

Then I had an idea. If I walk briskly I may fart briskly. I believe this is known as Fig Newton's Law - Every physical action has an equal and gaseous reaction.

So, me and the family set off to strut. About 10 minutes in I crop dusted about three houses. A sleeping pigeon fell from an overhead branch as the fumes overtook him. Poor thing.

I, however, feel way better. Also, I did a small touchdown dance while farting much to the dismay of my wife and son.

http://media.giphy.com/media/Fp0LDmG3F4t8c/giphy.gif

[JRD77VET]

Good to hear it made you feel much better :seasix:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/JRD77VET/gif/farttt.gif~original

[Blademaker]

Never trust a fart after age 40.........:seasix:

[LisaJohn]

:lol:

I have a walking farts story! My sis and I took our grandmother to the doctor. Keep in mind she had severe dementia. We are sitting in the waiting room. The nurse calls her name. We get up and start walking toward the nurse. Granny is pooting as we walk all the way across the waiting room. My sister and I start giggling. Then granny turns and looks back and says that's me isn't it? I said yes m'aam it is. She is now laughing. My sis then says "I think I wet my pants a little". Tears are pouring down our faces.
I can't begin to tell you how much I miss my gran.

[ApexOversteer]

I cropdusted a couple of kids in Wally world and over heard "that stinks way worse than Buster's"... take that, Buster.

[Norm]

Walkin' farts........all the time.:D

[LATB]

Walkin' farts........all the time.:D

Wise man. Let em rip...and keep truckin' :cert:

[DukeAllen]

It's the holes I burn in the seat of my pants that really bother me :D

[Chuck A]

been their and have won the award
very true, indeed
fart away, fart away

[Sea Six]

been their and have won the award
very true, indeed
fart away, fart away

*they're

[Chuck A]

*they're

allrighty then, :dance::dance::D

[island14]

:lol:

I have a walking farts story! My sis and I took our grandmother to the doctor. Keep in mind she had severe dementia. We are sitting in the waiting room. The nurse calls her name. We get up and start walking toward the nurse. Granny is pooting as we walk all the way across the waiting room. My sister and I start giggling. Then granny turns and looks back and says that's me isn't it? I said yes m'aam it is. She is now laughing. My sis then says "I think I wet my pants a little". Tears are pouring down our faces.
I can't begin to tell you how much I miss my gran.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Grannies can be so sweet! :yesnod:

Granny is pooting

nice touch.. :lol:

[Norm]

*they're

* there

[island14]

been their and have won the award
very true, indeed
fart away, fart away


fart away, fart awayyyyyy

Sounds like the theme song from Frozen.. :datawiz:

:D

[wicked_c6]

It is the best method I have to get my wife to hurry up when we are mall shopping (which I don't particularly enjoy). Nothing says, "We gotta go!" better than defiling the panties section in Victoria Secrets with a SBD from my morning chrorizo and onion omellette

[island14]

In a crowded elevator always ask.... who farted?

Even if no one did.. the look on everyone's face is priceless.. :Jeff '79:

Hey.. it lightens up the ride, everyone is so serious and quiet, eyes forward like they don't want to talk to anyone, pretending no one else is there

It breaks the ice. :D

[HellCat]

r-ERfm8qJQU

[Kerrmudgeon]

My old man is pretty well deaf, so he walks around the house and in public putting away completely oblivious to the blatting he's trailing....and he thinks they're SBDs.:rofl:

[BADRACR1]

:lol:

I have a walking farts story! My sis and I took our grandmother to the doctor. Keep in mind she had severe dementia. We are sitting in the waiting room. The nurse calls her name. We get up and start walking toward the nurse. Granny is pooting as we walk all the way across the waiting room. My sister and I start giggling. Then granny turns and looks back and says that's me isn't it? I said yes m'aam it is. She is now laughing. My sis then says "I think I wet my pants a little". Tears are pouring down our faces.
I can't begin to tell you how much I miss my gran.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::funniest:

[OddBall]

My old man is pretty well deaf, so he walks around the house and in public putting away completely oblivious to the blatting he's trailing....and he thinks they're SBDs.:rofl:

An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed . . .
. . .to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!"

[Bucwheat]

A good one warms the cheeks on a cold night.:leaving:

[CertInsaneC5]

Walking farts are expert level crop dusting. :seasix: