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View Full Version : Bust a Mooooooooove: Beef over cow milking turns into machete attack


onedef92
02-01-2011, 12:23pm
Beef over cow milking turns into machete attack

Posted: Feb 01, 2011
10:34 AM EST

FORT PIERCE, FL (WFLX) - An apparent dispute over cow milking methodology in Fort Pierce escalated into a foot chase with a machete sending a 61-year-old man to jail, according to recently released records.

Sylvester Byrd was arrested Sunday on an aggravated battery with a deadly weapon charge in connection with what could be considered an udderly unusual case.

The 36-year-old victim told Fort Pierce police he was talking with Byrd "about cows and other farm animals" in the backyard of an address in the 800 block of Texas Court when an argument began.

"He stated Byrd disputed with him over whether or not he'd actually had any cow milking experience," an arrest affidavit states.

Byrd, he said, "came after him" with a machete. The victim said he ran, but sustained a machete cut on his face.

Byrd, however, told police he and his girlfriend were in the backyard. He said the victim came over and started disrespecting his girlfriend. Byrd said they argued and the victim grabbed his arm.

"He said in self defense he clawed (the victim) across the face, scratching him with his nails," the affidavit states.

Byrd said that's when the machete came out. He said he got the weapon because the victim is larger than he is. He said he chased the victim and fell before putting up the machete and hoofing it to a friend's house. Byrd denied cutting the victim with the machete.

Byrd's 68-year-old girlfriend told police the victim and Byrd "were talking about farm animals and milking cows".

"She said Byrd stated how the cows were milked by their udders and (the victim) stated how they were milked by a machine," the affidavit states. "She advised she basically ignored their conversation, but due to this discrepancy an argument broke out between (the victim) and Byrd."

The girlfriend said Byrd got his machete after the apparent beef over cow milking and chased the victim. She told Byrd to put down the edged weapon and "deduced" the cut on the victim's face stemmed from the machete.

Byrd's girlfriend also said the victim wasn't disrespecting her.

clutchdust
02-01-2011, 1:35pm
Well you know the victim will milk this for all it's worth. But the dude with the machette shouldn't be bullying people around, whether his g/f is a heifer or not.

Yerf Dog
02-01-2011, 2:07pm
Did you say machete?

http://www.readjunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/news_1110_machete.jpg

wicked_c6
02-01-2011, 3:07pm
This post is udder nonsense. :)

RedLS1GTO
02-01-2011, 3:12pm
The girlfriend said Byrd got his machete after the apparent beef over cow milking and chased the victim. She told Byrd to put down the edged weapon and "deduced" the cut on the victim's face stemmed from the machete.

Byrd's girlfriend also said the victim wasn't disrespecting her.

Girlfriend agrees with victim instead of boyfriend = :hump:

Case closed.

Bill
02-01-2011, 5:04pm
Well you know the victim will milk this for all it's worth. But the dude with the machette shouldn't be bullying people around, whether his g/f is a heifer or not.

Bad.

This post is udder nonsense. :)

Worse.


I did find this story to be very mooving, however.

Worst.


:D

clutchdust
02-01-2011, 5:14pm
Fail, since you missed the pun about bullying.

Bill
02-01-2011, 5:16pm
Fail, since you missed the pun about bullying.

OK, I'll admit cross thread fail.

Cross threading never works out well for me.