Lawyers. Gotta love em. We got one like this.

[Olustee bus]

Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:

You have to love this lawyer...

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:


(Actual reply from FHA):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual response):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus's expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume God also made the part of the world called Louisiana. God; therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

The loan was immediately approved.

And youwant Government running health care?

Smart asses, all of em.:yesnod:

[simpleman68]

:seasix:

IBSSIBS

in before snopes says it's b.s.
Scott

[island14]

Case Closed! :seasix:

[DukeAllen]

I call :bs:.

Separation of Church and State. They wouldn't accept the Lord's claim (Mohammad would be acceptable in New York).

[lspencer534]

I call :bs:.

Separation of Church and State. They wouldn't accept the Lord's claim (Mohammad would be acceptable in New York).

The letter is likely real. That story has been around so long that it likely wasn't made up. In other words, before internet lying became popular.

Here's one I know is true because I've seen the office:

In the 1950s Carnation Milk had a contest inviting people to submit a new jingle; the prize was $10,000. A lawyer in Vicksburg, MS had these 3 papers framed in his office:

First was the ad:

"Submit the winning jingle for Carnation Milk and win $10,000! [etc., etc.]"

Second was his consolation letter:

"Thank you for your entry. However, sometimes entries, however clever and amusing, cannot be used for reasons of taste and public image of Carnation Milk. We are enclosing a gift certificate for twelve dozens cans of Carnation Milk."

Third was his entry:

"Carnation Milk is the best in the land
It comes in a bright red can
No tits to pull, no hay to pitch
Just punch a hole in that son-of-a-bitch!"

[mrvette]

I remember the Katrina effort pretty well, I was one of the FEMA guys under contract from Parsons Brinkerhoff, administrator for the whole effort....

spent maybe 3-4 days in training which consisted of nothing.....

because I was a licensed contractor in two states, they accepted my application, my buddy the welder was also accepted because he knew his way around heavy industrial sites....SO, we took off driving in tandem from Jax Florida at the east end of I 10 to Houston Tx. for 'training'....we got ASSigned to the Houston shipping channel....a little joint known as Pleasantville.....

a place that suffered NO damage from Katrina.....


:issues:

AND of course my supporting document from ~8 years ago....the vette was NOT driven for obvious reasons, but my old '85 Dodge work truck WAS....

there are many funny/amusing stories about that week on the road....if anyone interested.....if not, I save the typing....

[DukeAllen]

there are many funny/amusing stories about that week on the road....if anyone interested.....if not, I save the typing....

I hope I don't regret saying...sure...let's hear some stories :D

My brother is an independent OTR trucker, he ran bottled water for FEMA, to parts of MISS that were affected by Katrina. He made it sound like a fuster cluck.

[lspencer534]

I hope I don't regret saying...sure...let's hear some stories :D

My brother is an independent OTR trucker, he ran bottled water for FEMA, to parts of MISS that were affected by Katrina. He made it sound like a fuster cluck.

The same way trucks of ice were a fuster cluck. In Hattiesburg, Mississsippi (about 60 mile North of the Mississippi Coast) FEMA ice trucks were parked. Five days after Hurricane Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) promised Forrest County six truckloads each of ice and water. A few hours later, however, McGee learned the county was being shorted by two ice trucks. FEMA claimed they had been "lost in transit".

Sherrif Billy McGee immediately went to work to find or replace the ice trucks for his people he served in the county. When he learned that a number of FEMA ice trucks were parked at Camp Shelby, just south of Hattiesburg, he asked if they were destined to be shipped to any place in particular, and was told they were not. McGee and his deputies commandeered two of the trucks, driving them to a high school distribution center north of Hattiesburg. The people in that area had been without power, water, and ice since the storm, and were in desperate need of the ice to save their food and medicine.

Felony charges were brought against Sheriff Billy McGee and his three deputies for "intimidating and impeding a federal officer."

[mrvette]

I hope I don't regret saying...sure...let's hear some stories :D

My brother is an independent OTR trucker, he ran bottled water for FEMA, to parts of MISS that were affected by Katrina. He made it sound like a fuster cluck.

He correct, it was, just a fact of mommy hateure getting pissed off at our asses....Katrina hit when...Aug/Sept....and so Johnny the welder was laid off and so this old g/f of his was hooked into Parsons somehow, and so put him onto the lead for jobs.....my way was parting with Handyman Connection, and off to other leads, but then this call out came up...so I left my wife/home and went from Jax Florida to Houston for 'training'.....I leave me former comment alone about THAT asspect of it....

SO he and I were ASSigned to the Houston Shipping Channel, and my first call was Mrs. SWEET on CANDY ST. Pleasantville, burb of Houston....inside the inner loop of the beltways....

all the 'claimants' were nice and pleasant like the ville, but trick IS, NONE of the houses had any damage from Katrina...but suffered greatly from what was euphemistically known as 'Deferred Maintenance'.....in other words a DUMP!!!!!

I remember driving the '85 Dodge 3/4 ton 6 door work truck, and Johnny drove his old S10.....

I remember out in the field the first night, I had the .357 along with various auto work tools to fix anything on the road.....the .357 was packed in the tools, along with a floor jack....I set up a single bed mattress on the open work deck, and slept there, Johnny slept in the recliner passenger seat.....

Our first night on the job, we parked two spaces away in a Tinsel Town theater lot, bright lit, and fine....had the above stickers in the van windows, each side.....first night, this cops show at about 1 am, I was drunk enough to sleep soundly, but they shined the lights in Johnny's eyes, and so we were harrassed, but shows good docs we were then supported and looked after......us keeping the exact same spot under the bright lights....

SO two nights later we were both pretty stinky, and not to be repping any legit group/Parsons/FEMA/WHO EVER......so we checked into a motel.....

keep in mind, we NOT advanced any money on this shit, we shelled it out up front on a contract promise....SO this motel had to be CHEEEEEEEEP!!!!!

so we searched the area and found a joint that was painted PINK, dead seriously.....shoulda known...ya think??? wait for the REST of the story....

Keep in mind that 'after hours' we are using our cell phones to call various 'customers' and substantiate our ETA with them for whatever day was possible....so that was done in the evening times......SO this was not beer time or TV time, but work time.....

SO we had a cheeeeeep din din and went to work in the motel room that had nothing but PORN on the TV.....figgers in with the PINK paint......

SO about 9 pm or so this quite knock on the door, we look at each other and just grin....sure enough we glance out behind the curtains and there is this hooker, dressed for the KILL......yeh, right, I not taking home something don't want and neither was Johnny, so drop dead silent, and leave the shit on TV and stop our client calls.....

A while later, out comes TWO hookers, hammering a bit louder, but by this time we were done with customers.....

NOW to realize, I had a single bed mattress in the back of the van, among the shit, and so it was a CHEEEEEEEEP room and I brought the mat into the room since Johnny slept in the pass seat for the last two nights, he got the motel bed, I dragged the mat into the floor of the room, next to the bed...and the DOOR...to the street,

After the second go round, we decided to go grab all the shit outta the trucks outside, including my .357 and ammo.....

so we back inside with anything of VALUE, and sure enough.....the HAMMER came down....the PIMPS two of them, this motel door was a plain door from any house interior, and was flexing like MAD under them pounding.....

SO I laying there on the mattress, wishing for sleep, and THAT crap happens.....the gun is loaded, and ready.....

Johnny hits the cphone for the 911 and the cops are reluctant until he says

words to the effect that 'My buddy Geno is setting here with a 357 and he WILL PULL THE TRIGGER IF THAT DOOR COMES OPEN,

NOT a doubt in my mind about it........I got 6, how many U GOT????


from maybe 8' away.......


SO the cops got there, and they scattered so nothing happened, not that I cared....the cops did inquire about my gun, but seeing the lights, I unloaded it, and showed them it was no big deal.....gotta LOVE TEXAS!!!!!


I suppose I did not give away enough money, so I was sent home 2 daze later, while Johnny stayed for another 2+ months for so.....seeing not just Houston but N/O and many other sites.....

I remember I 10 on the trip there and home, median loaded with household goods from kitchen sinks with not any cabinetry, to bedroom gear, to shit hanging in trees, and darkened naked cleaned/blown out shopping malls, to trucks with several dozens of electric pole transformers.....from far away as New England Electric to other companies across the land.....Chicago, you name it.....the roads were littered with trucks and heavy cargo....

it was NO freeking joke.......the destruction was GREAT.....

I remember I 10 across some river in Alabama?? the western route was not damaged, but I seen a couple HUGE 3+ story mansions on the north of the freeway on the river....one was blown over at near 45 angle and destroyed, the other was destroyed in other ways.....

on the way back, I noted a CLEAN SLAB on the south side of the eastern passage, same spot....same houses to the left of me, on the return trip.....and me driving over the temp trams to keep the freeway open.....'

when I say a clean slab, I mean not even a toilet....nothing...bald....

and SO the babies blame Bush.....bullshit, that shit was WAY beyond any normal shituation......

FEMA was powerless to do much of anything, just like SANDY, and how many other tornadoes out west......


:issues:

[Fastguy]

Title exams only need to go back 50 years. Rebuilding a home would not require a title exam anyway. FHA does not offer construction loans. This hereby ends your this evening's buzkill.

[DukeAllen]

The same way trucks of ice were a fuster cluck. In Hattiesburg, Mississsippi (about 60 mile North of the Mississippi Coast) FEMA ice trucks were parked. Five days after Hurricane Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) promised Forrest County six truckloads each of ice and water. A few hours later, however, McGee learned the county was being shorted by two ice trucks. FEMA claimed they had been "lost in transit".

Sherrif Billy McGee immediately went to work to find or replace the ice trucks for his people he served in the county. When he learned that a number of FEMA ice trucks were parked at Camp Shelby, just south of Hattiesburg, he asked if they were destined to be shipped to any place in particular, and was told they were not. McGee and his deputies commandeered two of the trucks, driving them to a high school distribution center north of Hattiesburg. The people in that area had been without power, water, and ice since the storm, and were in desperate need of the ice to save their food and medicine.

Felony charges were brought against Sheriff Billy McGee and his three deputies for "intimidating and impeding a federal officer."

That story is very familiar. I don't know if my brother was there, or just some place just as bad.