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Aerovette
02-11-2013, 6:41pm
A new pastor is due to take over for the retiring pastor. The number of parishoners has been dropping and the thought was that new blood might bring new members to the church. The young man gives his first sermon and afterward a couple of the members of the church congratulate him on his great ability to connect with everyone. A few remark that it is a shame Tootie Green wasn't there to hear it.

The next week word has spread and there is an even larger crowd and again they praise the new pastor's great sermon. And once again, they express their wishes that Toootie Green had heard the Word. "It's a shame Tootie Green wasn't here to hear the sermon"

Several weeks pass and now the curch is standing room only. Each week members praise the new pastor and still express how they wish Tootie Green would come just one Sunday.

One Sunday, in the middle of his talk, the church door swings open with a bang and in comes a big ol' momma. Dressed in her fanciest dress, and her fine church hat, she bulldozes through the crowd and up to the front of the church and stands at the first pew and bumps and wiggles her way making room for herself to sit. She sits down in the most unladylike manner and it is very apparent that she is not wearing any underwear. Having never seen the woman before, the young pastor leans over to the old pastor standing nearby and asks "Is that Tootie Green?", to which the old pastor replies, after dropping his glasses down his nose and getting a better look..."No, I think it's just the way the sun is shining through the stained glass".

:kimblair: :leaving:

78SA
02-11-2013, 6:47pm
Groan.

99 pewtercoupe
02-11-2013, 7:45pm
I think that is as bad as the joke I posted today. Must be the day for bad religion jokes

CP
02-11-2013, 7:51pm
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant." The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?" Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

Jobaka
02-11-2013, 7:52pm
Groaner joke...

:seasix: Truth in advertising.

Aerovette
02-11-2013, 11:49pm
I think that is as bad as the joke I posted today. Must be the day for bad religion jokes

I was inspired. :seasix:

DukeAllen
02-12-2013, 12:18am
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up
to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

snide
02-12-2013, 12:27am
Groan.

73sbVert
02-12-2013, 12:36am
A priest, a cowboy and an Irishman walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "I've already heard this one"






:D

NavyC5
02-12-2013, 2:35am
Uggg

DukeAllen
02-12-2013, 8:21am
The hairy palm is strong in this thread.

fixed:seasix:

DukeAllen
02-12-2013, 10:29am
I think you meant to post this in the full figured gal thread.

Should I MOOve it?:D