Domestic violence...an incredibly sad day!

[Brett K]

I said my goodbyes to a colleague today. :sadangel: She was 41, beautiful, and an all around great person. I knew she was in the process of a divorce, but I didn't know any details. The scumbag POS soon-to-be ex brutally beat her then shot her in the head with a .22 before killing himself. They were found by their 20 year old son, who is a criminal justice major in college, and her father. I struggle to understand how you can devote your life to someone, raise a child with them, and hurt them. Please remember her son John in your prayers. I honestly can't imagine the pain he is in right now.:sadangel:

[Defib1961]

:sadangel::sadangel::sadangel:

[VatorMan]

:sadangel::sadangel:

[OddBall]

:sadangel:

[Doug28450]

Just....

Dang...

:sadangel::sadangel:

[justlookin]

:sadangel:

[Loco Vette]

Just:sadangel:

[jda67gta]

:sadangel: for the family.

Please, if you know or even suspect that someone is being abused, and that goes beyond just physical abuse, please call or have them call:

1-800-799-7233 or National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/)

They will answer, provide life saving information, and put them in touch with the nearest domestic violence emergency shelter.

I work for Safehaven of Tarrant County - I know it works, we save lives every day.

The hardest part is getting them to make the first call.

[Bill]

:sadangel:

As to the OP's question, "it's a thin line between love and hate." Some folks look at whatever the root cause of the divorce was (or the divorce itself) as betrayal, and some folks take that pretty personally.

The guy was obviously despondent, figuring he had nothing to live for, and decided to take out the ex on his way out.

[Doug28450]

Years ago, I was living in an apartment. A "couple" moved in upstairs. Over time they had a few shouting matches.

One night....

They had a drop down drag out. I could hear dishes breaking and other things being thrown about (aboot for the Canucks). Then...I heard her screaming for help. I called the police and within minutes the complex was full of police cars. After an hour or so, they all departed.

About an hour after the departure of the police, there was a knock on my door. It was a detective who wanted to talk. He told me that I may have saved that girls life.

[ft laud mike]

Years ago, I was living in an apartment. A "couple" moved in upstairs. Over time they had a few shouting matches.

One night....

They had a drop down drag out. I could hear dishes breaking and other things being thrown about (aboot for the Canucks). Then...I heard her screaming for help. I called the police and within minutes the complex was full of police cars. After an hour or so, they all departed.

About an hour after the departure of the police, there was a knock on my door. It was a detective who wanted to talk. He told me that I may have saved that girls life.
How long before they were back together?

[Superstreet]

Wow. :( :sadangel: :sadangel:

[jaxgator]

:sadangel:

[Iron Chef]

Wow...that's just awful. :sadangel:

How long before they were back together?

This. :yesnod:

It is unthinkable how many women (sorry...never really heard much about domestic abuse to a guy unless it was to his wallet) put themselves in a situation like this or choose to remain in a situation like this.

[VITE1]

Way to many "Men" are not confronted by real men when they are violent towrds women.

[erickpl]

:sadangel: for the family.

Please, if you know or even suspect that someone is being abused, and that goes beyond just physical abuse, please call or have them call:

1-800-799-7233 or National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/)

They will answer, provide life saving information, and put them in touch with the nearest domestic violence emergency shelter.

I work for Safehaven of Tarrant County - I know it works, we save lives every day.

The hardest part is getting them to make the first call.

Excellent information. I have a friend in Dallas county trying to get out of a domestic problem like that. Problem is, he's a high powered doctor in the area and the courts are playing in his favor and she appears to be getting screwed in the deal. She apparently has no access to the joint account, home, etc... the kids cry when they have to go see him, but the courts still mandate shared time... makes me wonder if he is abusing THEM too... I'll be passing on the information to her.

Do they have assistance with legal counsel?

[Doug28450]

How long before they were back together?

I don't recall the exact time, but it wasn't long. They were pretty tame after that.

[onedef92]

I don't recall the exact time, but it wasn't long. They were pretty tame after that.

Spousal abuse tends to be cyclical in nature. When I lived in my old apartment when Theresa and I first got married, there was an interracial couple on the second floor we nicknamed "O.J and Nicole" because he would bit the ever lovin' stool outta' that chick then court her with flowers, affection, candy, etc. before it all started up all over again.

I mean the whole building could hear those jokers arguing and fighting.

I told the girl's father about it and the drama presumably stopped. I say that because the boyfriend won $15k in the Kentucky Debry that year and bought a new Honda Civic hatchback. They moved out shortly after that and we never heard from them again.

[jda67gta]

Wow...that's just awful. :sadangel:



This. :yesnod:

It is unthinkable how many women (sorry...never really heard much about domestic abuse to a guy unless it was to his wallet) put themselves in a situation like this or choose to remain in a situation like this.

Unfortunately, many women do return to their abuser, for many reasons. Some do because they are victims not only of violence, but of isolation and economic abuse. Isolation from friends and family, no access to household funds (even though they may be the breadwinner) and of course, the children. It’s a big decision to completely break ties and uproot, even when abuse is involved. Many stay to prevent the abuse from ending up on the kids, protecting them with their very lives. Some only leave when the abuse does transfer to the kids, but some even stay, trying to protect them.

In many cases, the abuser holds all the cards, leaving the victim very litlle choice but to stay. In addition, there is a cycle of abuse, further confusing the decision making process for the victim.

Some do stay, or leave and return. It's a complicated issue.


Excellent information. I have a friend in Dallas county trying to get out of a domestic problem like that. Problem is, he's a high powered doctor in the area and the courts are playing in his favor and she appears to be getting screwed in the deal. She apparently has no access to the joint account, home, etc... the kids cry when they have to go see him, but the courts still mandate shared time... makes me wonder if he is abusing THEM too... I'll be passing on the information to her.

Do they have assistance with legal counsel?

Yes, below is a link to the shelter and services in Dallas. Thanks for trying to help.

Our Services (http://www.familyplace.org/ourservices/our-services)

Hotline- 214-941-1991

[jda67gta]

More Information about the Cycle of Abuse...







Incident



Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

Tension Building


Abuser starts to get angry
Abuse may begin
There is a breakdown of communication
Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
Tension becomes too much
Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'

Making-Up


Abuser may apologize for abuse
Abuser may promise it will never happen again
Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

Calm


Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
Physical abuse may not be taking place
Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
Victim may hope that the abuse is over
Abuser may give gifts to victim

Trust ACTIONS, not words.

[MEC5LADY]

:sadangel: for the family.

Please, if you know or even suspect that someone is being abused, and that goes beyond just physical abuse, please call or have them call:

1-800-799-7233 or National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/)

They will answer, provide life saving information, and put them in touch with the nearest domestic violence emergency shelter.

I work for Safehaven of Tarrant County - I know it works, we save lives every day.

The hardest part is getting them to make the first call.

Quoted so hopefully someone if they suspect abuse will step up and try to help.

I won't go into the one particular incident of domestic abuse that still haunts me to this day.
:sadangel::sadangel:

[Bucwheat]

So sorry to hear.:sadangel:

[kingpin]

I was in Hull Quebec drinking and hanging out when I was 17 in a real dingy bar.
I was next up on the pool table when some broad thought it was her turn.
I told her it was my turn as marked by the dime not her quarter.
She started mouthing off at me and I told her to just go ahead.
Her bf came up and apologized to me for her outburst and told me to go ahead.

I didn't like the way he grabbed her arm and kept an eye on them. As I was about to shoot a ball he wound up and backhanded her right across the face.

:mad:

I proceeded to pummel him with a pool cue until a few people stopped me. When they let me go as he was on the ground I felt like he needed more so I took a bar stool and snapped it over his knee.

I felt much better after that ordeal.
That's the way I roll.

P.S. No I didn't take her out afterwards.


I've also stopped my car in the middle of the road to do the same to some Italian Goomba who thought it was funny as he was banging some broads head off the wall.

I can't stand seeing that kinda shit and it gets my blood boiling faster than anything.

[stingraymyway]

:sadangel: