There's some weird PM's going around!

[kingpin]

Anyone else.

:rofl:

[Ryan Bell]

I'm out of the loop...but I guess that's a good thing.

[boracayjohnny]

Mike, I will not go with you to see a stripper named Skittlefarts. Kthxbye.

[kylebuck]

Meh i havent gotten anything weird or out of the ordinary.

[Sea Six]

:dunno:

[DJ_Critterus]

Yeah. And KP needs to stop begging me to go visit him.

[lander]

Somewhere there is a lonely moose, patiently awaiting a reply from kingpin.

:(

[Truck Guy]

I'm out of the loop...but I guess that's a good thing.:iagree: What pond-scum is causing trouble now? :beatup:

[Norm]

pm, what's that?

[MEC5LADY]

Meh i havent gotten anything weird or out of the ordinary.
:iagree:

[onedef92]

:dunno:

[jaxgator]

:confused5:

[lspencer534]

Mike, I will not go with you to see a stripper named Skittlefarts. Kthxbye.

Ms. Skittlefarts has been replaced with Ophelia Quat.

[kingpin]

Hey Larry. You know a Judith?

[kingpin]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I'm gonna have to share these sooner or later.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Blademaker]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I'm gonna have to share these sooner or later.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:



Classic Movie Line #51 - YouTube

[jaxgator]

Classic Movie Line #51 - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=angi1vwUkQc)

You stole my response! :slap:

[...Whitepower...]

Mike, I will not go with you to see a stripper named Skittlefarts. Kthxbye.

:)

Skittles - Share The Rainbow - YouTube

[lspencer534]

Hey Larry. You know a Judith?

Yep! She's my secretary.

[kingpin]

:)

Skittles - Share The Rainbow - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph7IVsfj--g)

That's disturbing.

[kingpin]

The messages.

:D

The Twinkie Connection
I work with Larry Spencer, that lying dog of an attorney in Jackson, Mississippi (Please, PLEASE, do not believe everything he's said about me!!! Especially the liberal bashing. It is true that we have raised cats together at work, but I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Barbie Batterers.)

At any rate, Larry thinks you might be the Canadian Twinkie Connection and just might, if I am very, very good (or very, very bad) be agreeable to supplying me with a box or so of the tasty little treats. I confess I long for them only because I cannot obtain them in these parts any longer (Praise God, the Moonpie still exists!), but Robert Browning expressed all that longing business far better than I a long time ago. I will, of course, pay all expenses, including a fee for your effort, and will, above all, be endlessly in your fan club. Please consider and let me know what you think about the Twinkies -- or anything else, for that matter.

Judith

Me: Hi Judith.

None of us here take Larry seriously. As a matter of fact none of us really think he's a lawyer or still is one anyway. We think he's a little loose up top if you know what I mean. Especially with all those cats. I won't even go into the Barbie doll fetish. I mean how much plastic boob can one guy handle.

As for your twinkie-connection. Sure send me a money order or your cc number and we can do business. The box is $35 plus the underground shipping cost of $350. You do understand that I need to hire Mexicans to take these tasty treats across the border. What they will do is wrap each twinkie in cellophane, and then insert it in a condom and swallow it. Before they get to deliver them to you they will need a couple days to get them out of their system, unwrap them and clean them up. You will then have a 12 pack of those tasty morsels at your door.

Please supply me your address and payment information.

Disclaimer: hair, willnots and slight odor of feces may be included with each twinkie. I have no control over this. No refunds, returns or credit for any reason what so ever.

Her: M. Kingpin:

Thank you for your quick reply and ALLLLL your observations in re Larry. I assure you, he is a real, true, actual, scabrous lawyer and appears in court regularly. As you have accurately observed, his muffin may not be competely baked, but it is a very smart and very wily muffin, to be sure. I choose to overlook your remark about "all those cats," having reared a few of them from kittenhood myself, and am proud of it. The Barbies, though . . . well, it is what it is.

Please let me consider your tempting and thoroughly reasonable offer regarding the Twinkies. I do understand the delivery system (and disclaimer) as I have received other exotic "medications" in a similar fashion -- no point in being fussy about it. If you could be a tad more precise about just how many Mexicans will be required to do the job, it might clarify your financial terms, though. Also, are the cellophane and condoms included in the price, or are they "expenses" -- you know, sort of like those nasty little things lawyers tack onto their bills?

Looking forward to your reply,
Judith

Her: Oh, P.S. If any of the Mexicans requires medical attention to dislodge the little missile, who pays?

Me: You're asking for too much information that I cannot and will not divulge.
The price I quoted you is all inclusive.
I can hire some southerners but they are more expensive and like to drink and screw too much.
Let me know how you'd like to proceed so I can get a hold of Sanchez and Juan to get this going quickly and get you those tasty pieces of heaven you covet so much.

[island14]

Me: You're asking for too much information that I cannot and will not divulge.
The price I quoted you is all inclusive.
I can hire some southerners but they are more expensive and like to drink and screw too much.
Let me know how you'd like to proceed so I can get a hold of Sanchez and Juan to get this going quickly and get you those tasty pieces of heaven you covet so much.

WTF?????


:rofl:

[Blademaker]

Me: You're asking for too much information that I cannot and will not divulge.
The price I quoted you is all inclusive.
I can hire some southerners but they are more expensive and like to drink and screw too much. Let me know how you'd like to proceed so I can get a hold of Sanchez and Juan to get this going quickly and get you those tasty pieces of heaven you covet so much.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[boracayjohnny]

:rofl::lol:

[boracayjohnny]

:)

Skittles - Share The Rainbow - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph7IVsfj--g)

:rofl::lol:

[island14]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


:iagree:

Still laughing...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[island14]

:rofl::lol:


Originally Posted by ...Whitepower... View Post


Skittles - Share The Rainbow - YouTube



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[tshirts and jeans]

nothing weird....just one saying that they were sending me some syrup....:confused5:

[jatjksn]

Well, M. Kingpin, it appears we have gone public, and now everybody's gonna be knock, knock, knockin' at your door -- Sanchez and Juan will probably have to incorporate. And I know just the lawyer who can handle the assignment . . .I agree completely with you about the southerners, by the way. Bein' a Yankee gal, myself, I am, of course, above all that . . . well, most of it . . . some of it, anyway . . . OK, OK, I agree they charge too much, but they've this long history of inflated self-esteem.

But, enough of this silly folderol. After considering your kind, if genuinely peculiar, offer and allllll its potential ramifications, I believe I might try to score a Twinkie that's been a teensy bit less processed, and maybe a dime or two less expensive. I do wish you well in your enterprise, however, and many hot tamales for Sanchez and Juan. If you ever find yourself yearning for a Moonpie, or perhaps some other truly southern confection, send up a smoke signal. Perhaps we can negotiate a cultural exchange.
Judith

[Sea Six]

:willy:

[DJ_Critterus]

nothing weird....just one saying that they were sending me some syrup....:confused5:

What you plan on doing with the syrup? :D

:leaving:

[boracayjohnny]

Well, M. Kingpin, it appears we have gone public, and now everybody's gonna be knock, knock, knockin' at your door -- Sanchez and Juan will probably have to incorporate. And I know just the lawyer who can handle the assignment . . .I agree completely with you about the southerners, by the way. Bein' a Yankee gal, myself, I am, of course, above all that . . . well, most of it . . . some of it, anyway . . . OK, OK, I agree they charge too much, but they've this long history of inflated self-esteem.

But, enough of this silly folderol. After considering your kind, if genuinely peculiar, offer and allllll its potential ramifications, I believe I might try to score a Twinkie that's been a teensy bit less processed, and maybe a dime or two less expensive. I do wish you well in your enterprise, however, and many hot tamales for Sanchez and Juan. If you ever find yourself yearning for a Moonpie, or perhaps some other truly southern confection, send up a smoke signal. Perhaps we can negotiate a cultural exchange.
Judith

:waiting::popcorns:

[Blademaker]

:waiting::popcorns:

:boobies:

[OddBall]

:waiting::popcorns:

:iagree::waiting:

[BuckyThreadkiller]

On the VB Scale of Not Quite Right this is about an 6.5

[kingpin]

Well, M. Kingpin, it appears we have gone public, and now everybody's gonna be knock, knock, knockin' at your door -- Sanchez and Juan will probably have to incorporate. And I know just the lawyer who can handle the assignment . . .I agree completely with you about the southerners, by the way. Bein' a Yankee gal, myself, I am, of course, above all that . . . well, most of it . . . some of it, anyway . . . OK, OK, I agree they charge too much, but they've this long history of inflated self-esteem.

But, enough of this silly folderol. After considering your kind, if genuinely peculiar, offer and allllll its potential ramifications, I believe I might try to score a Twinkie that's been a teensy bit less processed, and maybe a dime or two less expensive. I do wish you well in your enterprise, however, and many hot tamales for Sanchez and Juan. If you ever find yourself yearning for a Moonpie, or perhaps some other truly southern confection, send up a smoke signal. Perhaps we can negotiate a cultural exchange.
Judith

Since we aren't doing business can you show us your t...
Not for me as I'm an ass and leg man, but for the rest of VB leghumpers as a XMAS gift.

Mike

Waiting eagerly for your reply.
:waiting:

[lspencer534]

Since we aren't doing business can you show us your t...
Not for me as I'm an ass and leg man, but for the rest of VB leghumpers as a XMAS gift.

Mike

Waiting eagerly for your reply.
:waiting:

She's gone home for the day. I doubt that she'll be posting from home since she has dial-up.

And I hope you're proud of yourself, Mr. Mooseboy. You have just turned a formerly hard-working employee into a VBOT poster. You can imagine what that will lead to: Posting incessantly at work instead of slaving for me = lost productivity = eventually no income for either her or me. The only thing that will perhaps make it right is to receive a never-ending supply of Twinkies, maple syrup, and Moosehead Beer from you. (Funny how three of my favorite delicacies sound so gross together.)

Incidentally, I have some assisstants that can come to visit with you. They're named Tony Torpedo and Rocco Russo. They're very persuasive. Think about it....

[jatjksn]

Mike:
Well, just because we aren't exchanging Twinkies and/or tamales, we aren't necessarily NOT doing business . . . will consider what to reveal. I sort of think my boss would prefer that I keep things under wraps -- and I don't mean pink cellophane, either. Kind of you to be thinking of the rest of the leghumpers, though; that's just downright humanitarian of you, especially in view of the hard bargain you drive in the market place, as it were.
See you 'round the Barn. . .
Judith

[...Whitepower...]

nothing weird....just one saying that they were sending me some syrup....:confused5:



"Some people use syrup... I prefer a guy to use jelly....":rofl:


Trust me.. Not safe for work..

Tossing The Salad In Jail - Life In American Prison - YouTube

[kingpin]

She's gone home for the day. I doubt that she'll be posting from home since she has dial-up.

And I hope you're proud of yourself, Mr. Mooseboy. You have just turned a formerly hard-working employee into a VBOT poster. You can imagine what that will lead to: Posting incessantly at work instead of slaving for me = lost productivity = eventually no income for either her or me. The only thing that will perhaps make it right is to receive a never-ending supply of Twinkies, maple syrup, and Moosehead Beer from you. (Funny how three of my favorite delicacies sound so gross together.)

Incidentally, I have some assisstants that can come to visit with you. They're named Tony Torpedo and Rocco Russo. They're very persuasive. Think about it....

:D I think that's the first time you've ever called me Mooseboy. :D

I'll tell you what, you send Tammy Toledo and Richie Cunningham and I'll introduce them to one, only one of my old friends. This dude clubs baby seals with his cawk that's how tough he is.

Mike:
Well, just because we aren't exchanging Twinkies and/or tamales, we aren't necessarily NOT doing business . . . will consider what to reveal. I sort of think my boss would prefer that I keep things under wraps -- and I don't mean pink cellophane, either. Kind of you to be thinking of the rest of the leghumpers, though; that's just downright humanitarian of you, especially in view of the hard bargain you drive in the market place, as it were.
See you 'round the Barn. . .
Judith

I'm a thoughtful type of person. :yesnod:

[kingpin]

"Some people use syrup... I prefer a guy to use jelly....":rofl:


Trust me.. Not safe for work..

Tossing The Salad In Jail - Life In American Prison - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItAzJD0o9NQ)

:willy:

I'll stick to soup instead of a salad from now on.

[Bill]

KP, I think you are pricing yourself out of the market as a non-authorized Twinkie reseller. I don't know why some enterprising Canadian doesn't put boxes of Twinkies on Amazon or Craigslist, though. Resellers wouldn't be bound by the same geographic limits as the Canadian bakeries. They'd be "gray market" snacks.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Yeah. And KP needs to stop begging me to go visit him.

You, too, huh?

[Mike Mercury]

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/27428168.jpg