Well, that was totally embarrassing...

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Mr. Nox had dinner with a friend tonight. Calls me from the car to see if I'm free for dinner later in the week. Here's how it went...

Nox: What're you doing?
Me: Running a virus scan on my laptop. It's running a little slow.
Nox: Why? Are you downloading porn?
Me: Pssssssht. I'm always downloading porn. :D
Nox: I see.

We talk a minute longer and I hear something in the background.

Me: Uhhhhhh... Am I speaker phone?
Nox: Yes. I'm in the car.
Me: Are you alone?
Nox: No.

(long pause)

Me: I don't really download porn.

:leaving:

Now I get to go have dinner with them all next week. :banghead:

:rofl:

[Sea Six]

:funnier: :funnier: :funnier: :funnier: :funnier: :funnier:

[Kerrmudgeon]

Mr. Nox had dinner with a friend tonight. Calls me from the car to see if I'm free for dinner later in the week. Here's how it went...

Nox: What're you doing?
Me: Running a virus scan on my laptop. It's running a little slow.
Nox: Why? Are you downloading porn?
Me: Pssssssht. I'm always downloading porn. :D
Nox: I see.

We talk a minute longer and I hear something in the background.

Me: Uhhhhhh... Am I speaker phone?
Nox: Yes. I'm in the car.
Me: Are you alone?
Nox: No.

(long pause)

Me: I don't really download porn.

:leaving:

Now I get to go have dinner with them all next week. :banghead:

:rofl:

Gotcha!....dirty girl.:seasix:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

:banghead:

[Mrs. Colleen]

Awesome! :rofl:

[73sbVert]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Sandy, that's the funniest shit I've read all week! LOL!!!!

Gawd, I lurv ya!!! :hearts:



:kingpin:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Awesome! :rofl:

I'm hoping this friend is not some sort of ultra-conservative type. I didnt hear any gasps in the background, so I have that going for me.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Sandy, that's the funniest shit I've read all week! LOL!!!!

Gawd, I lurv ya!!! :hearts:



:kingpin:

It takes practice to be this awesomely awkward.

:leaving:

[73sbVert]

I'm hoping this friend is not some sort of ultra-conservative type. I didnt hear any gasps in the background, so I have that going for me.



It takes practice to be this awesome

:leaving:
You could teach the class! :yesnod:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

You could teach the class! :yesnod:

Lesson one: How to NOT confess to downloading porn to total strangers.

Chapter one...verify you are not on speaker phone.

[Nox]

Lesson one: How to NOT confess to downloading porn to total strangers.

Chapter one...verify you are not on speaker phone.

Chapter 2: don't post about it on an Internet forum for all the world to see. :leaving:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Chapter 2: don't post about it on an Internet forum for all the world to see. :leaving:

What's happened, has happened. The least I can do is share my experience with my friends. :D

Total bitch move, by the way...not disclosing you were on speakerphone. :slap:

:lol:

I hope your friend was not offended. :leaving:

[73sbVert]

Lesson one: How to NOT confess to downloading porn to total strangers.

Chapter one...verify you are not on speaker phone.

:lol: :lol:

[Kerrmudgeon]

Total bitch move, by the way...not disclosing you were on speakerphone. :slap:



:iagree:...:thumbs:

I hate when people don't tell me.:mad:

[Iron Chef]

Total bitch move, by the way...

You sound surprised. :rofl:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

:iagree:...:thumbs:

I hate when people don't tell me.:mad:

You sound surprised. :rofl:

He's always on speakerphone in his car. The problem is, it's so quiet, I never know when he's in the car. :banghead:

[Nox]

Total bitch move, by the way...not disclosing you were on speakerphone. :slap:

:lol:



How long have you known me? I'm always on speaker phone. The only time I talk on the phone is when I am in my car.

[kylebuck]

lordy lordy lordy.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

How long have you known me? I'm always on speaker phone. The only time I talk on the phone is when I am in my car.

I don't keep track. I'm too busy multitasking. :D

lordy lordy lordy.

I know. :nonod:

:rofl:

[FasterTraffic]

He's always on speakerphone in his car. The problem is, it's so quiet, I never know when he's in the car. :banghead:

How long have you known me? I'm always on speaker phone. The only time I talk on the phone is when I am in my car.

Posted one minute apart... I'm picturing the two of you in the same room sitting quietly with your respective laptops.

:Jeff '79:

(Full disclosure: I have sent text messages to my wife downstairs because it's easier than yelling.)

[Nox]

Posted one minute apart... I'm picturing the two of you in the same room sitting quietly with your respective laptops.

:Jeff '79:

(Full disclosure: I have sent text messages to my wife downstairs because it's easier than yelling.)

Actually, I am not even home.... I think she might be.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Posted one minute apart... I'm picturing the two of you in the same room sitting quietly with your respective laptops.

:Jeff '79:

(Full disclosure: I have sent text messages to my wife downstairs because it's easier than yelling.)

We do the same, with the texting. :lol:

But we have done the posting thing from the same room...glaring over the screen at one another without saying a word.

It's like... Take that!!! <submit reply>

Actually, I am not even home.... I think she might be.

Maybe. :leaving:

[OddBall]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Fasglas]

We do the same, with the texting. :lol:

But we have done the posting thing from the same room...glaring over the screen at one another without saying a word.

It's like... Take that!!! <submit reply>


Ah, technology...
Isn't it GREAT ?

:rofl::rofl:

[Datawiz]

Priceless! :lol:

[island14]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


:iagree:


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

It is good to see someone who can laugh at themselves for an embarrassing moment :seasix:

I would be curious to hear what was said between the eavesdropper and Nox after the call ended though... :lol:

[boracayjohnny]

Thanks for the :lol: Sandy. Anyone that says they don't look at pr0n is often lying. There's even proof...many are very good at one hand typing.



This message brought to you by the group of Popeyes One Arm.

[xXBUDXx]

Nobody downloads anymore. Now, everybody streams. :leaving:

[Bingo Fuel]

I'm hoping this friend is not some sort of ultra-conservative type. I didnt hear any gasps in the background, so I have that going for me.


She's really looking forward to meeting you, Sandy.

http://kingmarketinginc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Habit-on-Nun-w-ruler.jpg

[Bucwheat]

That's sum good entertainment here.:yesnod:

[vtelvr]

Nice! A true "Doh!" moment! Oh well, look at the upside....friend may want to join:leaving:











Oh, and thanks for the Monday morning laugh!

[simpleman68]

Ahhh, you'll be fine.

When a lady talks about porn it's considered "hot".

When a guy does so, he is considered a "dog". Truth
:lol:
Scott

[Chris Fowler]

Nox: Why? Are you downloading porn?
Me: Pssssssht. I'm always downloading porn.

You were setup! :yesnod:

[DAB]

:drool:

What's for dinner??

[Bill]

Nobody downloads anymore. Now, everybody streams. :leaving:

I looked for the dirty section on Netflix, but couldn't find it. Hell, I didn't even see the beaded tassled rope door.........

[Superstreet]

LMAO! Classic! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/Superstreet/LOL1.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/Superstreet/LOL1.gif

[NEED-A-VETTE]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

:D

Ah, technology...
Isn't it GREAT ?

:rofl::rofl:

Keeps the peace, sometimes. :leaving:

Priceless! :lol:

;)

:iagree:


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

It is good to see someone who can laugh at themselves for an embarrassing moment :seasix:

I would be curious to hear what was said between the eavesdropper and Nox after the call ended though... :lol:

Well, if one can't look back and laugh when one does truly silly things, there's something wrong. :rofl:

Thanks for the :lol: Sandy. Anyone that says they don't look at pr0n is often lying. There's even proof...many are very good at one hand typing.



This message brought to you by the group of Popeyes One Arm.


:lol:

Nobody downloads anymore. Now, everybody streams. :leaving:

Yeah, I know. ;)

Wait, I mean...really?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the friend was far from offended. :funny:

Hopefully not. :rofl:

She's really looking forward to meeting you, Sandy.

http://kingmarketinginc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Habit-on-Nun-w-ruler.jpg

Yeah...we've met already. I'm a product of catholic schools. :rofl: Doesn't it show? :leaving:

That's sum good entertainment here.:yesnod:

Glad I could oblige. :D Unfortunately, this type of "humorous" incident is not isolated. :leaving:

Nice! A true "Doh!" moment! Oh well, look at the upside....friend may want to join:leaving:

Oh, and thanks for the Monday morning laugh!

;)

Ahhh, you'll be fine.

When a lady talks about porn it's considered "hot".

When a guy does so, he is considered a "dog". Truth
:lol:
Scott

:lol: Total double standard. It works in my favor, so I'm ok with it. :leaving:

You were setup! :yesnod:

You may be right. :lol:

:drool:

What's for dinner??

For that stunt, he better take me someplace nice. :toetap:

Clams. DUH!

That's the late night snack.

I looked for the dirty section on Netflix, but couldn't find it. Hell, I didn't even see the beaded tassled rope door.........

:lol:

LMAO! Classic! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/Superstreet/LOL1.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/Superstreet/LOL1.gif

I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[Superstreet]

I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

So what is today's lesson? :lol:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

So what is today's lesson? :lol:

The mute setting is your friend when trying to be discreet.

:D

[Superstreet]

The mute setting is your friend when trying to be discreet.

:D

:lol: What if it's the neighbors that can still hear you? :lol:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

:lol: What if it's the neighbors that can still hear you? :lol:

It's ok. They don't speak a lot of English.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

http://7tattoo.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/16112_540.jpg

:island14: Wouldn't be the first time.

:leaving:

[kingpin]

Yeah...we've met already. I'm a product of catholic schools. :rofl: Doesn't it show? :leaving:







Damn, you guys are getting slow.



Pics of you in the Catholic school girl outfit. :waiting:

We know you still have it and wear it. :D

[NEED-A-VETTE]

:funnier:

Just means Nox is doing it right. :seasix:


BTW, when the Mrs. and I lived in our 2nd apartment, we had some neighbors who like to do it, a lot. She enjoyed it, A LOT. Good lookin' gal too. :D

I seriously think sex drive INCREASES in women beginning in their 30s. A lot. :rofl:

Damn, you guys are getting slow.

Pics of you in the Catholic school girl outfit. :waiting:

We know you still have it and wear it. :D

Gotta keep things interesting somehow, right? ;)

[VatorMan]

I seriously think sex drive INCREASES in women beginning in their 30s. A lot. :rofl:



Gotta keep things interesting somehow, right? ;)

Nox is Japanese. Pics of you in Sailor Moon costume. :D

[kingpin]

I seriously think sex drive INCREASES in women beginning in their 30s. A lot. :rofl:



Gotta keep things interesting somehow, right? ;)

That's all I need.

[kramer]I'm outta the bet![kramer]

[kingpin]

Nox is Japanese. Pics of you in Sailor Moon costume. :D

Or horsehead outfit, or any other wacky costume you can think of. :leaving:

[Fastguy]

Me: I don't really download porn.

:leaving:

Sooo, you were uploading porn?

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Nox is Japanese. Pics of you in Sailor Moon costume. :D

That was my Halloween costume a few years ago. :dance:

That's all I need.

[kramer]I'm outta the bet![kramer]

:lol:

Could you send my wife that memo please? :cert:

Just wait. It'll kick in.

Then you'll be a very tired man. :D

http://txag98.com/images/orgasmAlert.gif

:leaving:

Or horsehead outfit, or any other wacky costume you can think of. :leaving:

They are into some truly bizarre shit. I've been there.

And yet, they censor their porn. Makes no sense. :rofl:

Sooo, you were uploading porn?

Noooooooo!!!

I was just watching it. Purely for research purposes. Otherwise, that would be shameful and dirty. :nono:

:D

[onedef92]

That is too funny! :lol:

[American Made]

If Nox's passenger was a porn star would it be ok? :D As long as you weren't downloading mexican midget porn it's all good. :cert::lol:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

If Nox's passenger was a porn star would it be ok? :D As long as you weren't downloading mexican midget porn it's all good. :cert::lol:

If his passenger was a porn star, we'd be having dinner everyday this week.

:leaving:

We're getting near the half way mark.

Anyone know how to prime the engine? :funny:

I'll take tired over bored. :seasix:

Take her to the toy store. :D

That is too funny! :lol:

:blushing:

You read those magazines for the articles too huh? :D

They're very entertaining and informative. :island14:

[Nox]

If Nox's passenger was a porn star would it be ok? :D As long as you weren't downloading mexican midget porn it's all good. :cert::lol:

Unfortunately, most of my passengers upon meeting strangers are usually trying to figure out the best way they would kill them with their bare hands... :issues:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Unfortunately, most of my passengers upon meeting strangers are usually trying to figure out the best way they would kill them with their bare hands... :issues:

So, what you're saying is he's not a porn star?

:leaving:

[VatorMan]

So, what you're saying is he's not a porn star?

:leaving:

You could always use your secret weapon on them.

NSFW: http://dudelol.com/img/man-getting-hit-in-the-face-in-slow-motion-with-a-dildo.gif

[slant]

sounds like next weeks meeting could be a fun one

[VITE1]

Unfortunately, most of my passengers upon meeting strangers are usually trying to figure out the best way they would kill them with their bare hands... :issues:

Sounds like my Family. :seasix::shots:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

You could always use your secret weapon on them.

NSFW: http://dudelol.com/img/man-getting-hit-in-the-face-in-slow-motion-with-a-dildo.gif

Switched it to just a link...just in case someone may be at work. :leaving:

Aside from that, it looks like you've been peeking into my nightstand.

sounds like next weeks meeting could be a fun one

Tomorrow evening. :banghead:

I'm struggling not to blurt out, "Seriously. I don't download porn." as my first introduction. :rofl:

Sounds like my Family. :seasix::shots:

:lol:

[boracayjohnny]

Switched it to just a link...just in case someone may be at work. :leaving:

Aside from that, it looks like you've been peeking into my nightstand.



Tomorrow evening. :banghead:

I'm struggling not to blurt out, "Seriously. I don't download porn." as my first introduction. :rofl:



:lol:

:rofl::rofl:

[FasterTraffic]

I'm struggling not to blurt out, "Seriously. I don't download porn." as my first introduction.

Better: Capture the audio from the fake orgasm scene in "When Harry Met Sally" and make it your ringtone. Halfway through dinner, have someone call you. Let it go to voicemail and act like nothing happened.

[American Made]

Unfortunately, most of my passengers upon meeting strangers are usually trying to figure out the best way they would kill them with their bare hands... :issues:

So no porn action you're saying. Do they box? :D

[Kerrmudgeon]

Now that you brought it up, maybe we need pics of what is IN your nightstand!:roll:

[FasterTraffic]

Now that you brought it up, maybe we need pics of what is IN your nightstand!:roll:

http://www.sigsauer.com/upFiles/catalog/product/556SWATpistol-detail-R.jpg

[NeedSpeed]

Proof of said porn? :toetap:



:D

[kingpin]

Switched it to just a link...just in case someone may be at work. :leaving:

Aside from that, it looks like you've been peeking into my nightstand.



That's twice now!
You're killing me here.

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n130/kingpin111/c1a0f904.gif

[78SA]

:rofl:

[VatorMan]

Switched it to just a link...just in case someone may be at work. :leaving:

Aside from that, it looks like you've been peeking into my nightstand.


:lol:

:leaving:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Better: Capture the audio from the fake orgasm scene in "When Harry Met Sally" and make it your ringtone. Halfway through dinner, have someone call you. Let it go to voicemail and act like nothing happened.

:lol:

Now that you brought it up, maybe we need pics of what is IN your nightstand!:roll:

That would be against forum rules. Way against. :leaving:

http://www.sigsauer.com/upFiles/catalog/product/556SWATpistol-detail-R.jpg

And this.

Proof of said porn? :toetap:

:D

:p

That's twice now!
You're killing me here.

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n130/kingpin111/c1a0f904.gif

:rofl:

Her idea of a toy store is the camera store or the car dealer to get a Mustang.

Neither is in our budget at the moment. :funny:

Alright, I got ya. Here's what you do:

Send the kids away for the night. Babysitter, duct tape...whatever.

When she gets home from work, take her to the bedroom, throw her one bed, tie her wrists together with some scarves or something (not too hard), blindfold her and then seduce her from head to toe. Just have your way with her and blow her mind with kick ass sex. Toss in some toys, feathers, ice cubes, hot wax...whatever...use your imagination. Repeat throughout the evening.

You're welcome.

:funnier: :funnier:

Nox: *looks at his lovingly at his wife*

NAV: "Work call"

Nox: "Again?!"

Guest: *WTF did i get myself into*

Someone get a video of that cause it would be awesome! :yesnod:

:funnier: :funnier:

You all have just GOT to do this!

I would, but I'm afraid his friend won't come back ever again. :lol:

:leaving:

:D

[Allan]

That's twice now!
You're killing me here.

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n130/kingpin111/c1a0f904.gif


best episode ever!

[kingpin]

best episode ever!

One of many! :yesnod:

[theanswriz42]

Was this in the Z4? Because it's not all that quiet on bluetooth :lol:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Was this in the Z4? Because it's not all that quiet on bluetooth :lol:

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)

[magnetized]

:funnier::funnier:

[theanswriz42]

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)

:rofl: Excuses, excuses.

[Entropy]

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)
Bless your little heart. :angel:

[slant]

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)

what tasks ? :D

[73sbVert]

what tasks ? :D

If she says anything about typing with one hand, I'm out too!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:









:leaving:

[Iron Chef]

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)

If anyone ever asks about the type of woman I WOULD marry...

[NEED-A-VETTE]

what tasks ? :D

I was, uhhhhh, running a virus scan. :leaving:

If she says anything about typing with one hand, I'm out too!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:leaving:

It's a delicate balancing act. So, I bought an iPad stand. You know, for when I'm cooking and I need to read a recipe. That's what I use it for. I swear.

If anyone ever asks about the type of woman I WOULD marry...

:grouphug: :lol:

[kingpin]

I was, uhhhhh, running a virus scan. :leaving:



Did you have to bring that word in this conversation!

:puke:

[Craig]

Sitting in a conf room, we dial our Orlando office on speaker. While waiting for another office to dial in:

Everyone: Light banter.

Orlando: So, did Jim (50ish CFO) marry his child bride (late 20s).

Everyone: Dead silennce.

Orlando: He's in the room, isn't he.

Everyone: Dead silence...then someone cracked...


...okay, not as good...:leaving:

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Did you have to bring that word in this conversation!

:puke:

I'm deathly afraid of, ahem, viruses. :willy:

Luckily, working in healthcare, the state of California requires us to submit to certain tests if we are going to be exposed to patients or patient care areas. We also have to get things like annual TB test, etc. My company takes it a step further and requires an annual physical for executive staff, including a CBC, etc.

Clean as a whistle. ;)

[DAB]

Never share your whistle.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Never share your whistle.

Exactly. Plus, my cholesterol is excellent. :dance:

So, did he? :toetap:

:waiting:

[jaxgator]

Priceless! :lol:

:iagree: :rofl:

[NeedSpeed]

In my defense, I was multitasking. :p

;)

http://twinpossible.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/TV-watching-smiley.gif

http://www.bannedcampforum.org/Images/Emoticons/diddle.gif

:blah: