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View Full Version : Guys, keep track of your used condoms


HeatherO
11-27-2011, 12:17pm
:willy::eek::willy::eek::willy:

A New York man was stunned to find out that his four-year-old twins were not an accidental pregnancy after all -- but that his desperate girlfriend secretly stashed away his sperm and used it for an in-vitro procedure, he charges in a lawsuit.
Joseph Pressil, 36, was not planning on having children with Anetria Burnett, with whom he was in a relationship for six months in 2007, he said.

So she took matters into her own hands, he told the New York Post, in order to remain in his Texas house and make a legal bid for half of his possessions.
"A gold digger is an understatement. She was trying to get community property and alimony. She's ruthless," he said.
Now, Pressil is suing Burnett in Texas for custody of their sons.
"This is more than a nightmare -- it's a horror story," he told the Post.
Pressil, a telecommunications manager, said he hooked up with Burnett, 34, when he lived in Texas -- and was a little surprised when she announced she was pregnant.
"We always used condoms," he said. But when a DNA test proved him to be the father, Pressil said he began paying $800 a month in child support.
"At first, I doubted [the children were mine], but I figured I would wait until the twins were born," he said. "But when the kids were born, they looked just like me."
The real bombshell dropped last February, when Pressil got a strange receipt in the mail for sperm cryopreservation.
Confused, he called the company that had sent him the paperwork, which referred him to the Advanced Fertility Center of Texas, where a manager asked him to sign a release form.
That is when he said he uncovered the bizarre plot.
"She was taking [the semen in condoms] after the fact and running down to the clinic with it," said Jason Gibson, who is representing Pressil in his suit. He now has joint custody.
The fertility clinic's manager simply assumed he and his ex were married when she got the successful in-vitro fertilization procedure that resulted in the birth of the twins, his suit says.
Pressil then said he confronted Burnett, an exotic dancer, who allegedly told him, "Oh you're not stupid. I thought you knew."
"Her reason for doing it was to stay in the home -- because I had told her she had to leave my house when we broke up," he said.
She even filed to have him declared her common-law husband, he said, which would have entitled her to half his property. The filing was denied.


Read more: Man Says Ex-Girlfriend Stole His Sperm To Create Kids | Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/27/man-says-ex-girlfriend-stole-his-sperm-to-create-kids/#ixzz1evWpVFJ6)

DJ_Critterus
11-27-2011, 12:20pm
So, Joe's "string chick" really could be his baby momma :willy:

ConstantChange
11-27-2011, 12:26pm
As a buddy would say, "That's why you blast it on their face." He's got a way with words.

DJ_Critterus
11-27-2011, 12:46pm
As a buddy would say, "That's why you blast it on their face." He's got a way with words.

Hey, some chicks would still reach down with that. can't be too careful. Fill the balloon and then take it with you to toss on the side of the highway on your way home.

C5Nate
11-27-2011, 12:58pm
Hey, some chicks would still reach down with that. can't be too careful. Fill the balloon and then take it with you to toss on the side of the highway on your way home.



Only used them a few times before the pill. They ALWAYS got flushed.

DJ_Critterus
11-27-2011, 1:02pm
Only used them a few times before the pill. They ALWAYS got flushed.

Umm... not all chicks take their pills regularly, either.

Frizzle
11-27-2011, 1:13pm
this is why you flush your condoms down the toilette.

FasterTraffic
11-27-2011, 1:42pm
this is why you flush your condoms down the toilette.

I think Petew1971 mentioned keeping a portable incinerator in his car for disposing of used condoms.

HeatherO
11-27-2011, 4:22pm
was he not the least bit suspicious of her disappearing with condom? :skep:
how was she storing it, before having it injected?
how long can that stuff remain 'viable'?? :willy:

nhlgopens
11-27-2011, 4:47pm
If she swallows, it's not a problem. :seasix:

HeatherO
11-27-2011, 5:05pm
If she swallows, it's not a problem. :seasix:

well, good luck with that!!! :lol:

DJ_Critterus
11-27-2011, 7:26pm
I think Petew1971 mentioned keeping a portable incinerator in his car for disposing of used condoms.

The ash tray?

DJ_Critterus
11-27-2011, 7:27pm
was he not the least bit suspicious of her disappearing with condom? :skep:
how was she storing it, before having it injected?
how long can that stuff remain 'viable'?? :willy:

I've heard slims say that it'll remain viable on toilet seats for a long, long time :yesnod:

HeatherO
11-27-2011, 10:09pm
I've heard slims say that it'll remain viable on toilet seats for a long, long time :yesnod:

Oh? how many guys does said slim know, who jerk off on toilet seats?? :lol:

Kerrmudgeon
11-27-2011, 10:59pm
http://www.angryduck.com/pictures/2011_10/Effective_Birth_Control.jpg

MEANZ06
11-27-2011, 11:02pm
http://www.angryduck.com/pictures/2011_10/Effective_Birth_Control.jpg


pfffft! then just bend her over... :D

Sea Six
11-27-2011, 11:15pm
pfffft! then just bend her over... :D

Yeah.


I'm just gonna go ahead and give you The Clap.




:clap:

HeatherO
11-27-2011, 11:23pm
Yeah.


I'm just gonna go ahead and give you The Clap.




:clap:

so, you're going to bend him over :bigears:

MEANZ06
11-27-2011, 11:29pm
so, you're going to bend him over :bigears:

:skep:

HeatherO
11-27-2011, 11:42pm
:skep:

don't look at me like that...he said he wanted to give you the clap :D

Allan
11-28-2011, 12:46am
"an exotic dancer" :willy:

Sea Six
11-28-2011, 5:54am
so, you're going to bend him over :bigears:

Dramatic Look - YouTube

DJ_Critterus
11-28-2011, 9:28am
Oh? how many guys does said slim know, who jerk off on toilet seats?? :lol:

I don't know, but I think it lasts longer than if deposited into socks :yesnod:


:lol: