What's your favorite joke?

[Munch]

This is mine.

YouTube- PENGUIN BLEW A SEAL Video

[Z06PDQ]

:above::lol::rofl:

[Cobra4B]

Barack H. Obama

[DropTheTop]

Ib4iluvmypotus :D

[Z06PDQ]

guy goes to the doc & the doc says "good news/bad news." guy says "gimme the bad news first" doc says "you have terminal cancer....you got maybe three weeks left." guy says "oh My God...what's the good news?" doc says "did you see that big breasted receptionist in the lobby?....I'm bangin' her! " :D YouTube- Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Guys' Favorite Jokes

[clutchdust]

Lady is on vacation in Italy, staying in a nice hotel on a ridge above a small harbor town. She goes down to the bar in the lobby to enjoy an adult beverage and watch the sunset. In the bar is a local drowning his sorrows, she sits a couple seats away, they're the only two patrons in the bar.
All of a sudden, he talks to her. It goes like this:
"You see all of the houses down there in the village? Do you know how many houses there are in the village? 300 houses! Guess how many houses Luigi (pointing to himself) built. 200 houses! But do they call me Luigi the house builder? No.
"You see the boats in the harbor? Do you know how many boats there are in the harbor? 200 boats! Guess how many boats Luigi built. Luigi built 150 boats. But do they call me Luigi the boat builder? No.
"You see the bridges that cross the river? Do you know how many bridges there are? 20 bridges. Guess how many bridges Luigi built. 15 bridges! But do they call me Luigi the bridge builder? No.
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(highlight)"But you fu** one goat...."

[NEVRL8T]

Rectum? Damn near killed'em!

[Cobra4B]

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics?


Highlight... Not being retarded...

[Cobra4B]

Guy has a date with his bangin' new girlfriend... he's confident he's going to score tonight so he goes to the store to buy some condoms. Walks back to the pharmacist to get what he needs. "One pack of condoms please... got a hot new girlfriend, I think she's really kinky, going to score tonight for sure!" He completes the transaction and goes on about his day.

Later that evening he goes over to his new GF's house for dinner and to meet her family. At dinner it comes time to say grace and, being a gentleman, the boyfriend offers to do it. He gives a very passionate and stirring prayer to which the girlfriend says, "I had no idea you were so religious!?!" All the boyfriend could say was, "I had no idea your dad was a pharmacist..."

:p

[NEVRL8T]

Everyone has heard of Red Adair, the oil well fire fighter. Arab calls up Red and tells him he has an oil well fire. Needs it put out immediatley because he is losing millions of dollars a day. Red loads up a truck load of Mexicans and they head off to the Arab's well. The Arab is standing on a hill looking down at the fire when off in the distance, on the other hill, here comes Red and the mexicans. The truck heads down the hill and picks up speed without slowing. At the bottom of the hill the truck runs right up into the middle of the fire. The Mexicans jump out with shovels and blankets and start shoveling, stomping, and smothering the fire. In a little while the fire goes out. The Arab runs down to greet Red, who is burnt to a crisp. He looks at the head Mexican and says "here is a million dollars for putting out the fire and here is another million for a bonus!" The Mexican takes the money and the Arab says "Now, what are you going to do with all of that money?" The mexican says "Get the breaks fixed on that ****ing truck!"

[zz4vetteguy]

This is mine.

YouTube- PENGUIN BLEW A SEAL Video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUabDrfjATY)

Here is the real joke in it's full version....

A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on in his Stingray. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies as he wipes he beak and blushes, "it's just ice cream."

[zz4vetteguy]

YouTube- Wet Dream - Kip Addotta

[Z06PDQ]

YouTube- Wet Dream - Kip Addotta (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1GvDWtccI)

:rofl: :cheers: