GS Ragtop
10-10-2011, 7:15am
Leave it to The Onion... :rofl:
BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his f*cking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger.
“He meant a lot to me, and I’ll miss him. I think I might send an e-mail to [email protected] [instead of contacting the man he hasn’t talked to in a month who helped him with his homework, paid his college tuition, and has supported him throughout his entire life, loving him unconditionally despite his myriad f*ckups].”
At press time, Cavanaugh reportedly needs to get his f*cking priorities straight.
BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his f*cking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger.
“He meant a lot to me, and I’ll miss him. I think I might send an e-mail to [email protected] [instead of contacting the man he hasn’t talked to in a month who helped him with his homework, paid his college tuition, and has supported him throughout his entire life, loving him unconditionally despite his myriad f*ckups].”
At press time, Cavanaugh reportedly needs to get his f*cking priorities straight.