There's a feckin' 100 people in my house... [Archive]

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 2:39pm

Wife's having a baby shower for a friend. They're the loudest bunch of yahoos I've ever heard. I walked outside a minute, and when I came back to my computer room, there were 5 people in it. I sat down at my computer, and they left. They kinda stared at me 'cause I have on my homeless-look clothes, and I don't shave on weekends. Yep, folks--I live here. I also sleep with the hostess.

'77Babe

06-26-2011, 2:47pm

Did you snarl at them?

99 pewtercoupe

06-26-2011, 2:47pm

Good thing none of them posted something in poor taste using your log on. This forum has such delicate sensabilities.:D

MrPeabody

06-26-2011, 2:49pm

Go mingle with the crowd. Burp and fart a lot while drinking whiskey right out of the bottle. Sounds like you are already dressed properly.:cheers:

Uncle Pervey

06-26-2011, 2:53pm

The Devilwomang knows better than to invite a covey of hens over to the house.. she thinks I'll walk through and do a crop dusting on them. Unlike the OP I ain't sleeping with her, so what have I got to loose? Not a fecking thing... :leaving:

beadist

06-26-2011, 2:56pm

Go mingle with the crowd. Burp and fart a lot while drinking whiskey right out of the bottle. Sounds like you are already dressed properly.:cheers:

:lol: If he does that he may be sleeping on the couch tonight rather than with the hostess.:yesnod:

MrPeabody

06-26-2011, 2:58pm

:lol: If he does that he may be sleeping on the couch tonight rather than with the hostess.:yesnod:

Yep, but it will be the last baby shower held at his house.:lol:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 3:04pm

Good thing none of them posted something in poor taste using your log on. This forum has such delicate sensabilities.:D

Thank you for reminding me to mind my etiquette here. Yes, we are a classy bunch! :D

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 3:11pm

I come in and find people hovering over my computer and someone will leave hurt. probably throw every one of them out with the command to not return until they learn manners.

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 3:15pm

I come in and find people hovering over my computer and someone will leave hurt. probably throw every one of them out with the command to not return until they learn manners.

Good rule to live by.

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 3:18pm

Good rule to live by.
I don't understand people that visit another residence and seem to think they live there. Absolutely no respect these days.

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 3:32pm

I don't understand people that visit another residence and seem to think they live there. Absolutely no respect these days.

Yep, and folks nowadays aren't as honest as they used to be.

Datawiz

06-26-2011, 3:34pm

pics of the slims?

Low12s

06-26-2011, 3:35pm

Post a pic of the best looking woman

snide

06-26-2011, 3:37pm

pics of the slims?

:withstupid:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 3:43pm

Post a pic of the best looking woman

I was just thinking: I don't know why my wife served appetizers...cause I'd get sick just looking at the slims. Slim picking here, so to speak.

Low12s

06-26-2011, 3:49pm

I was just thinking: I don't know why my wife served appetizers...cause I'd get sick just looking at the slims. Slim picking here, so to speak.

Okay, how bout one of the most gruesome one, just for grins.

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 4:04pm

Okay, how bout one of the most gruesome one, just for grins.

So, just walk up to her with my camers and say, "May I share a pic of your fat azzed, saggy titted, ice pick damaged face, and thunder thighs body with my friends?"

Datawiz

06-26-2011, 4:06pm

So, just walk up to her with my camers and say, "May I share a pic of your fat azzed, saggy titted, ice pick damaged face, and thunder thighs body with my friends?"

Why not?

Low12s

06-26-2011, 4:10pm

So, just walk up to her with my camers and say, "May I share a pic of your fat azzed, saggy titted, ice pick damaged face, and thunder thighs body with my friends?"

Yup, that's the ticket right there!

DAB

06-26-2011, 4:10pm

So, just walk up to her with my camers and say, "May I share a pic of your fat azzed, saggy titted, ice pick damaged face, and thunder thighs body with my friends?"

what's the downside? :rofl::rofl:

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 4:14pm

So, just walk up to her with my camers and say, "May I share a pic of your fat azzed, saggy titted, ice pick damaged face, and thunder thighs body with my friends?"
The Austin Indiana homecoming queen is at your house?:omg:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 4:19pm

what's the downside? :rofl::rofl:

The downside is she outweighs me by 200#. Those big girls have a lot of muscle from carrying that much weight. And some of them are surprisingly fast. And I'm a chickenshit about getting my face bludgeoned.

LATB

06-26-2011, 4:20pm

pics or it didn't happen

Datawiz

06-26-2011, 4:21pm

pics or it didn't happen

:withstupid:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 4:30pm

pics or it didn't happen

The last vestige of the hangers-on:

LATB

06-26-2011, 4:33pm

The last vestige of the hangers-on:

there are MEN at this baby shower?

how fu@king metro sexual faggottry gay are these men in their pressed Dockers? :rofl:

Datawiz

06-26-2011, 4:34pm

there are MEN at this baby shower?

how fu@king metro sexual faggottry gay are these men in their pressed Dockers? :rofl:

This. :rofl:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 4:36pm

there are MEN at this baby shower?

how fu@king metro sexual faggottry gay are these men in their pressed Dockers? :rofl:

Yes, and they seemed to be having a good time. You can understand why I passed.

LATB

06-26-2011, 4:49pm

Yes, and they seemed to be having a good time. You can understand why I passed.

how fuking gay are American men becoming?

throughout my ENTIRE life...I have never even been near a baby shower.

I wouldn't even want to drop off my wife there, as to be seen on the same street in my truck as the location of the baby shower. :rofl:

Hell, I wouldn't even want to take my wife to the store for her to shop for the baby shower gift.

And, if we were out and about and she happened to buy the baby shower gift...the gift would have to ride home in the bed of the pickup. any bs and the purchaser will ride back there with. :D

Evan as a kid...when there was a baby shower in the family...my dad and the other old guys would make damn sure I was with them over some uncles house...watching the game and sneaking a beer.

men at a baby shower. WTF? your street is probably full of Volvo's and Subaru's.

DAB

06-26-2011, 5:06pm

The downside is she outweighs me by 200#. Those big girls have a lot of muscle from carrying that much weight. And some of them are surprisingly fast. And I'm a chickenshit about getting my face bludgeoned.

that would make a great movie!!

65 Hardnoks

06-26-2011, 5:08pm

when I came back to my computer room, there were 5 people in it. I sat down at my computer, and they left. They kinda stared at me

100 people in your home and this 5 in your computer room. Hmmmmm, I wonder what they were about to do. Hmmmmm. I think they stared at you because they were paranoid. :rofl:

LisaJohn

06-26-2011, 5:11pm

Ok here's what you do---google "clucking hens" and turn up the volume on the computer or on your iPhone. :D
L/MM

Yes I know I'm a girl and I have given and attended many a baby shower!

99 pewtercoupe

06-26-2011, 5:13pm

Ok here's what you do---google "clucking hens" and turn up the volume on the computer or on your iPhone. :D
L/MM

Yes I know I'm a girl and I have given and attended many a baby shower!

:lol::lol::lol:

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 5:17pm

The last vestige of the hangers-on:
Your wallpaper sucks.

mrvette

06-26-2011, 5:21pm

I thought baby's got BATHS not showers.....

that was NOT my department....I know NOTHING.....

signed...

old dinosaur......

:rofl::rofl::cheers:

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 5:52pm

that would make a great movie!!

You want to star in it? As the bludgeonee?

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 5:53pm

Your wallpaper sucks.

That is not "my" wallpaper. That is "wife's" wallpaper.

LisaJohn

06-26-2011, 5:53pm

Did ya do it or did ya chicken out?:D

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 6:11pm

Did ya do it or did ya chicken out?:D

Let me put it like this: I'm 5'11", 175#. She was 5'9", 275, arms the size of my thighs, thighs the size of my waist (if not bigger), and she didn't appear to have a sense of humor.

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 6:36pm

That is not "my" wallpaper. That is "wife's" wallpaper.
I just hate wallpaper.:leaving:

Burro (He/Haw)

06-26-2011, 7:07pm

there are MEN at this baby shower
OMG. Men. At a baby shower. Every single one of them has tasted their own spuz. As a matter of fact, I bet the Docker wearing douchemonkies are having a little jism tasting party as we speak.

"Pssst, Bruce! I left some ejaculate on the bathroom sink for you!"

"Awesome Andrew! You're the best!"

"Next round, I will pound out a load, and you can mix YOUR spewage with MY spewage. Here. Use this swizzle stick from Amanda's cocktail sausages to stir it up!"

"Fabulous idea! Should we ask Byrne to join? He works out a lot. I bet his goo tastes yummy!"

carlton_fritz

06-26-2011, 7:08pm

OMG. Men. At a baby shower. Every single one of them has tasted their own spuz. As a matter of fact, I bet the Docker wearing douchemonkies are having a little jism tasting party as we speak.

"Pssst, Bruce! I left some ejaculate on the bathroom sink for you!"

"Awesome Andrew! You're the best!"

"Next round, I will pound out a load, and you can mix YOUR spewage with MY spewage. Here. Use this swizzle stick from Amanda's cocktail sausages to stir it up!"

"Fabulous idea! Should we ask Byrne to join? He works out a lot. I bet his goo tastes yummy!"
:rofl:

LATB

06-26-2011, 7:12pm

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 7:25pm

here I assumed they would be talking about wines & cheeses :rofl:

And horse semen.

Blademaker

06-26-2011, 7:29pm

Stroll into the room naked, holding an assault rifle.

I promise they will leave.

Quickly.

xXBUDXx

06-26-2011, 7:31pm

Did you snarl at them?

Go mingle with the crowd. Burp and fart a lot while drinking whiskey right out of the bottle. Sounds like you are already dressed properly.:cheers:

:iagree: All while scratching your junk and listening to rasslin on the big TV will get them outta there quicker.

lspencer534

06-26-2011, 7:38pm

:iagree: All while scratching your junk and listening to rasslin on the big TV will get them outta there quicker.

I slipped in a CD of "There Stands the Glass." I've never seen such confused WTFs in my life! :rofl:

YouTube - ‪Carl Smith - There Stands the Glass‬&rlm;