worst bathroom moment thread

[wicked_c6]

Going along with toilet humor of today. As in something happened when you were in the bathroom that offended or otherwise was odd.

The worst one for me was at a reps office (new rep, only with us a few weeks). I drove down to his office in Ohio to do a technology meeting with him and install a few machines. On the way down I stopped at Sbarro's (big mistake) and about 30 mins out from his office my stomach was imploding.

I'm male...so I can't attest to what women go through with menstation or childbirth...but this had to be close if not surpassing.

I get to his office thinking I can just hold it for the 3-4 hours I'm there (I hate takin a she-dooby in public bathrooms). 2 hours go by and I'm dying...doing the buttcheek dance to keep from crapping my drawers. I was going to go across the street to the Circle K and pinch one off...but it was too far.

So I go into the small bathroom at his office. Mind you his entire family (wife, mom, dad, kids) were there assisting with painting and prepping the office.

Instanly I notice there's NO F'ING FAN to turn on. But its too late...I've got the mud butt and time was out. I hunker down trying to make it quiet but again...no go. No amount of courtesy flushes were going to help - and beads of sweat were pouring off me.

I open the door to leave and the reps Mom is painting the trim around the bathroom door...and so I"m sure heard (and worse smelled) the destruction and mayhem I'd just left behind. I was so embarrassed - but a few years later I told him the story at one of our conferences and he died laughing. Said he was wondering why his Mom stopped painting in that area for the day.

cliff:

Sbarro's creates atomic stomach/poop
Hate to poop in public restrooms
Couldn't hold
Bathroom in reps office with no fan.
Mom defiled by smell

[Montehall]

scene: Coast Guard Cutter Active
characters: Me; nameless seaman

action!

the cutter is underway up around the Oregon coast in mid-March. The seas are 15-18 feet with 20 second intervals. pretty crappy ride. But I've not eaten and I'm not a big seasick guy anyway.
I was on the 20-24 watch (10pm to midnight)
I get relieved of the watch and head down to go to my rack (bed)
I hop in the head and take a quick shower before I go to sleep. The white lights are out, and there is only one blue light. The head is about 150 sq ft with 3 stalls, 3 showers and 4 sinks.
As I'm showering, I hear someone come running in and stop to throw up in the sink. They didn't make it to the toilet. It happens.
Then I hear "oh god, oh god..." in a sobbing voice; I pop my head out the shower to make sure this kid isn't dying, and I watch him bend over the sink again, and as he's puking, I see a watery-brown mass leaking down his leg. One good wretch at the end, and it all comes flowing out. It was horrible.
I get my head back in the shower, and I contemplate my next move. Do I stay in the shower and hope the problem takes care of itself? or do I get out and help him out? even if I chose the latter, what could I do?
I shut off the shower and grab my towel and get out of the shower. When I set my foot down, I hit something wet. Thank god I was wearing shower shoes (flip flops).
The kid is still hunched over the sink, I didn't know whether he was unaware he just shat all over the floor, or was simply choosing to ignore it.
I quickly hopped back in the shower and rinsed my foot off again.
I ask the seaman if he was ok, he told me he was just a little seasick. "Great. Now clean up this mess."
He looks at me, looks at the floor, and starts crying.
now what? I'm sure as hell not cleaning this mess up. I just want to go to bed. Yeah, I feel bad, and I'm sure the kid is embarrassed as all get-out.
Keep in mind that this whole time, the ship is rocking on al three axis, so this watery-brown mess is sloshing everywhere.
So I do the next best thing. I tell him to wait right there.
I hop out of the bathroom and wake up the corpsman (who slept in the same berthing area as me) and tell him there is a seaman in the head who needs him because he is seasick.
problem solved.
I did, however, get a swab (mop) and bucket and fill with with soapy water for him before I went to bed. The kid cleaned the mess up while the doc got him all the PPE (personal protective equipment) to handle it. Then the doc checked him out, got him a seasick patch, and no one but the three of us ever knew about it.

[DukeAllen]

About ten years ago...I assume it was food poisoning. I woke up around 3 am, cramped up. Sit on the toilet and out comes the diarrhea. Then I had to lean over to puke in the sink. Puked and puked and puked. I wound up filling the sink to the top, and the toilet was full, and smelled so bad no way was I leaning in it to puke. I stagger out, shaking and sweating. Lady friend comes out and says get in bed, she'll clean up...bless her.

A few minutes later I knew something was coming up and no way was I going to make it to the bathroom. I jump out of bed, lean over to puke in a trash can, and with a huge fart out came about a gallon, right through my shorts, down my legs, in the floor.

I wound up in the bathroom about a half dozen times that night, and went through several pair of underwear. Filled the sink again too. I must have stayed queasy for a week.

[Low12s]

:lol: and I remember when I got severely reprimanded for a simple double flush thread in CFOT

[DropTheTop]

Maybe not messy, but right up there with the worst for me:

So me and my buddy were 17, and driving to some girls house he just broke up with. He had to pick up his class ring from her. The whole ride I have to piss like a race horse, but he won't pull over. We get to her house, and it's pretty late in the evening - and she's like 16.

Those two idiots start arguing, and I'm like "CAN I PLEASE USE YOUR BATHROOM!!!" She finally lets me in, but says to be really quiet because if her Dad wakes up he'll freak out. (I don't think she was even allowed to date yet!) So there I am, finally pissing away and feeling great.

Just when I'm ready to flush, I hear a bunch of commotion! The Dad's up, and he's storming around like a bull in a china shop, yelling and telling her to go to bed! So I wait till it gets quiet, then out of habit I flush. . . (oh shit!) . . . open door realllllllllllly slowly . . . . . . and the next thing you know I'm being picked up by my next and thrown against the wall! I'm telling you, if I didn't just purge all that piss, I woulda been pissing all over that guy.

He's about ready to make hamburger outta my face, then sees my buddy staring into the house from outside. He's like WTF is going on, drops me and heads for the door. He runs out after him while I make my escape, and we get in the car and speed away.

We didn't say a word for like 45 minutes - and my heart was still racing!

[BondiBlue]

I had an odd bathroom moment just a couple days ago.

So I'm standing in front of my toilet relieving myself and for no apparent reason my rather large and slightly obese cat comes tearing into the room in a flurry of declawed paws and teeth, sinking his fangs into my calf muscle.

It is at this point I have to make a split second decision. Do I risk pissing all over the floor to remove this crazed feline from my leg tissue or do I remain steadfast in my voiding?

I chose the latter, and luckily it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before he ran off. I would be curious to know what prompted such retaliation from him.

[wicked_c6]

Maybe not messy, but right up there with the worst for me:

So me and my buddy were 17, and driving to some girls house he just broke up with. He had to pick up his class ring from her. The whole ride I have to piss like a race horse, but he won't pull over. We get to her house, and it's pretty late in the evening - and she's like 16.

Those two idiots start arguing, and I'm like "CAN I PLEASE USE YOUR BATHROOM!!!" She finally lets me in, but says to be really quiet because if her Dad wakes up he'll freak out. (I don't think she was even allowed to date yet!) So there I am, finally pissing away and feeling great.

Just when I'm ready to flush, I hear a bunch of commotion! The Dad's up, and he's storming around like a bull in a china shop, yelling and telling her to go to bed! So I wait till it gets quiet, then out of habit I flush. . . (oh shit!) . . . open door realllllllllllly slowly . . . . . . and the next thing you know I'm being picked up by my next and thrown against the wall! I'm telling you, if I didn't just purge all that piss, I woulda been pissing all over that guy.

He's about ready to make hamburger outta my face, then sees my buddy staring into the house from outside. He's like WTF is going on, drops me and heads for the door. He runs out after him while I make my escape, and we get in the car and speed away.

We didn't say a word for like 45 minutes - and my heart was still racing!


:rofl:

[wicked_c6]

I had an odd bathroom moment just a couple days ago.

So I'm standing in front of my toilet relieving myself and for no apparent reason my rather large and slightly obese cat comes tearing into the room in a flurry of declawed paws and teeth, sinking his fangs into my calf muscle.

It is at this point I have to make a split second decision. Do I risk pissing all over the floor to remove this crazed feline from my leg tissue or do I remain steadfast in my voiding?

I chose the latter, and luckily it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before he ran off. I would be curious to know what prompted such retaliation from him.


Did you eat asparagus?

Never had my cat attack me... But my cat is a bathroom stalker... Every morning I think I'm alone in there and start dropping kids off at the pool, she'll poke her head out from the wifes closet and just look at me like I've invaded "her" area.

[BondiBlue]

Did you eat asparagus?

Never had my cat attack me... But my cat is a bathroom stalker... Every morning I think I'm alone in there and start dropping kids off at the pool, she'll poke her head out from the wifes closet and just look at me like I've invaded "her" area.

Nope, never tried the stuff.

I hate when you're duecing and the cat stares at you. Closing the door would be a simple solution, yet I never close it all the way and the cat always comes in. This particular instance was the first violent encounter I've had though after 3 years with this animal.

[nhlgopens]

I had an odd bathroom moment just a couple days ago.

So I'm standing in front of my toilet relieving myself and for no apparent reason my rather large and slightly obese cat comes tearing into the room in a flurry of declawed paws and teeth, sinking his fangs into my calf muscle.

It is at this point I have to make a split second decision. Do I risk pissing all over the floor to remove this crazed feline from my leg tissue or do I remain steadfast in my voiding?

I chose the latter, and luckily it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before he ran off. I would be curious to know what prompted such retaliation from him.
Should have pissed on the cat. It would have let go immediately. :thumbs:

[Montehall]

Should have pissed on the cat. It would have let go immediately. :thumbs:
you should go do it now, just to remind it who is the boss.

[99 pewtercoupe]

I had an odd bathroom moment just a couple days ago.

So I'm standing in front of my toilet relieving myself and for no apparent reason my rather large and slightly obese cat comes tearing into the room in a flurry of declawed paws and teeth, sinking his fangs into my calf muscle.

It is at this point I have to make a split second decision. Do I risk pissing all over the floor to remove this crazed feline from my leg tissue or do I remain steadfast in my voiding?

I chose the latter, and luckily it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before he ran off. I would be curious to know what prompted such retaliation from him.

We have a couple of Tonkinese cats that are very active and athletic animals. The one can do a standing leap up to my shoulder if she wants to. One day I was staanding in front of the toilet relieving myself and she chose that moment to do it. I almost painted the walls of the powder room. She has done it to other people to and it generally scares the hell out of them the first time

[8Up]

Not too embarassing but kind of funny now that I can look back at it.

The first few days of Marine Corps Basic training are spent taking classes and getting shots. We were all sitting in this little tiled room at the MCRD San Diego sick bay waiting to get shots and it was really quiet. My body had barely adjusted to the new schedule but my colon was still on civilian time. Well I had had to go since about the time I woke up and it was starting to reach a critical point. God knows you dont ask to make a head call in boot camp unless you are seriously turtling. Well I finally had to put up my hand and ask permission to speak, then ask permission to make a head call. Well the DI says "**** no, sit down". All this time we are sitting basicly what they called 'asshole to bellybutton' IE, very close. well the guy infront of me became understandably nevous since he now knew I had to crap NOW. So he says 'Just go' (like just get up and go to the head). I jump up again and yell "SIR THIS RECRUIT HAS TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY HEADCALL SIR!" DI slowly turns around and looks at me and says "If its a real emergency I need to hear sirens" so there I am about to deuce my boxers yelling WOOWOOWOOWOOWOO as loud as I can so this fukr will let me go take a crap. So he says "I dont see any flashing lights, sit down" I was like FUUUKK!!. Finally I got permission to run to the head making siren noises while twirliing my finger over my head to simulate the flashing light. I had alittle clean up to do but all in all not that bad, my buttcheeks have buttcheeks that were able to keep the flow contained until I was on the down stroke to the comode, let loose at just over 45deg of knee bend. The scene was recreated for the movie Dumb and Dumber where Jeff Daniels lets loose in the girls bathroom....... :flush:

[Cybercowboy]

YouTube - ‪Dumb and Dumber - Toilet Scene‬‏

[Montehall]

Nice
boot camp bathroom story:

I was in my second week of boot camp, in an afternoon class, I had to take a dump brweing (the ones that gurgle). I asked permission, got it, so I took off to the head, which was in another building.
On my way there, I passed a Chief Petty Officer, I shouted "Good Morning Chief!" on my way by. He yelled "STOP!" so I did, immediatly realizing where I had errored.
He gets in my face and asks me what it was like to sleep in, since I obviously just got up. I didn't have an answer other then "belay my last. Good Afternoon Chief!"
He goes "oh so you don't have an answer?" damn. uh-oh. "GET DOWN! Push up position"
stupid me, I breathed "really?" and all I heard was "WHAT!!!!" crap.
The Chief said "What could be possibly be so important that you don't have time for a little PT?"
I told him "Chief, I have to utilize the head"
"OH, is that your problem? well, by all means, go on" huh?

so you'll never guess what was waiting for me when I go out of the head...

[DAB]

you would think by now that the army is aware that their soldiers have to pee and poop now and then.... :leaving:

[8Up]

YouTube - ‪Dumb and Dumber - Toilet Scene‬‏ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwcVJMvVWDA)

Yeah, thats accurate, good thing for yall there is no smelltube to go along with it.

[Omega Man]

I had just moved to Houston and bought a house. My brother was living a few streets away and I had a new fridge being delivered, so he and I decided to go pick up the parts needed to hook up the ice maker.

On or little adventure we decided to stop at Jack in the box and get some lunch. It was about 100 degrees outside (the summer of '98) and I hate to eat too much when I get overheated.

Anyway, I choked down a Sourdough Jack and some curly fries and a coke and we went on to look for the parts that were needed. Home depot did not have the right part, so we ended going up the street to builders square.

As we enter builders square parking lot, I got a massive gut cramp, so bad I almost wrecked my new truck (not that it matters but it was an F150super cab with the crappy 4.6 and was the nicest vehicle I had ever owned ). So the cramp passes and I think that is the end of it.

We enter the store after walking around in the hot assed parking lot and I can feel something going on in my stomach. It did not feel right and kind of had me worried. We walked over to the plumbing isle and start to look for the parts, it was at this time that I also remembered I needed the stuff to hook up the washer and dryer too, so I mentioned that to my brother.

All of a sudden It hit me. It was pure evil. Gut oil.... I asked my brother where the chitter was and he told me in the back corner of the store.

I paced myself so I would not lose control of my bowels and walked in the general direction. I was cramping so bad and sweating so much that I knew it had to be Ebola or so other evil shit that I had. 10 steps and then stop. Breath. Shift my weight. 10 more steps. It took all the intestinal fortitude that I could muster to keep my bung sealed up.

When I finally made it to the bathroom, I started the process of undoing my belt and all of the other pre-fire & pre combat checks that must be done before you wage war. I quickly surveyed the scene and noticed that I was alone in here and chose the optimum stall in which unleash the demon that was trying to crawl out my ass.

I pushed the door open with my left hand while at the same time my right hand had a kung fu grip on my pants and drawers and as I spun around to close the door behind me my other hand was centered on the back of my waste pulling the cover off the atomic cannon that was about to launch.

As my left hand slid the lock closed, my right hand cleared the line of fire and all that was unholy was unleashed. :yesnod:

I hope that you have noticed that at no time did I say that I sat down. :leaving:

You see, the force of entering the stall and turning while dropping my pants was enough to break the seal. The easiest way for me to describe it would be taking a ketchup packet and bending it in half. Continue to squeeze it until it pops.

I did not realize the full amount of dammage that I did until it was over. I guess I kind of blacked out. When I turned around to see what had happened, I was shocked, horrified, disgusted, and in disbelief.

I had managed to spray shit all over the back wall, the left stall wall, the right stall wall (including the toilet paper holder) and the floor. The toilet and toilet seat was also covered in runny shit. The only clean place in that stall was the back of the door, where I was standing and the toilet water.

I was horrified. I looked at my pants to make sure I did not shit them up and when I figured out that they were clean and clear, I pulled them up, sans wiping.

I managed to hug the door and get it open without stepping in the newly deposited "stuff". I shut the door behind me and did a quick casualty evaluation in the mirror to ensure there was no evidence that was visible.

I quickly walked to the spot where my brother was picking the parts needed to hook up the fridge, washer and dryer and he could tell something was wrong by the look on my face.

I explained to him that we needed to go NOW and that he should just drop the stuff right there. We moved at a rapid pace toward the exit and when we got outside, I told him what had transpired.

The sad thing is that there was some poor bastard who had to clean that up. I don't know how you would do it short of washing the entire room down with a hose and having an open drain.

I did not do it on purpose and I really feel bad about it, but it has been almost 13 years since it happened and telling the story helps me get over it.


The funny thing was that less than 2 weeks after doing that, the store started a going out of business sale. I can't help but feel that I played a small part in closing the doors to that place.

[carlton_fritz]

:lol: and I remember when I got severely reprimanded for a simple double flush thread in CFOT
:rofl:

[carlton_fritz]

I had just moved to Houston and bought a house. My brother was living a few streets away and I had a new fridge being delivered, so he and I decided to go pick up the parts needed to hook up the ice maker.

On or little adventure we decided to stop at Jack in the box and get some lunch. It was about 100 degrees outside (the summer of '98) and I hate to eat too much when I get overheated.

Anyway, I choked down a Sourdough Jack and some curly fries and a coke and we went on to look for the parts that were needed. Home depot did not have the right part, so we ended going up the street to builders square.

As we enter builders square parking lot, I got a massive gut cramp, so bad I almost wrecked my new truck (not that it matters but it was an F150super cab with the crappy 4.6 and was the nicest vehicle I had ever owned ). So the cramp passes and I think that is the end of it.

We enter the store after walking around in the hot assed parking lot and I can feel something going on in my stomach. It did not feel right and kind of had me worried. We walked over to the plumbing isle and start to look for the parts, it was at this time that I also remembered I needed the stuff to hook up the washer and dryer too, so I mentioned that to my brother.

All of a sudden It hit me. It was pure evil. Gut oil.... I asked my brother where the chitter was and he told me in the back corner of the store.

I paced myself so I would not lose control of my bowels and walked in the general direction. I was cramping so bad and sweating so much that I knew it had to be Ebola or so other evil shit that I had. 10 steps and then stop. Breath. Shift my weight. 10 more steps. It took all the intestinal fortitude that I could muster to keep my bung sealed up.

When I finally made it to the bathroom, I started the process of undoing my belt and all of the other pre-fire & pre combat checks that must be done before you wage war. I quickly surveyed the scene and noticed that I was alone in here and chose the optimum stall in which unleash the demon that was trying to crawl out my ass.

I pushed the door open with my left hand while at the same time my right hand had a kung fu grip on my pants and drawers and as I spun around to close the door behind me my other hand was centered on the back of my waste pulling the cover off the atomic cannon that was about to launch.

As my left hand slid the lock closed, my right hand cleared the line of fire and all that was unholy was unleashed. :yesnod:

I hope that you have noticed that at no time did I say that I sat down. :leaving:

You see, the force of entering the stall and turning while dropping my pants was enough to break the seal. The easiest way for me to describe it would be taking a ketchup packet and bending it in half. Continue to squeeze it until it pops.

I did not realize the full amount of dammage that I did until it was over. I guess I kind of blacked out. When I turned around to see what had happened, I was shocked, horrified, disgusted, and in disbelief.

I had managed to spray shit all over the back wall, the left stall wall, the right stall wall (including the toilet paper holder) and the floor. The toilet and toilet seat was also covered in runny shit. The only clean place in that stall was the back of the door, where I was standing and the toilet water.

I was horrified. I looked at my pants to make sure I did not shit them up and when I figured out that they were clean and clear, I pulled them up, sans wiping.

I managed to hug the door and get it open without stepping in the newly deposited "stuff". I shut the door behind me and did a quick casualty evaluation in the mirror to ensure there was no evidence that was visible.

I quickly walked to the spot where my brother was picking the parts needed to hook up the fridge, washer and dryer and he could tell something was wrong by the look on my face.

I explained to him that we needed to go NOW and that he should just drop the stuff right there. We moved at a rapid pace toward the exit and when we got outside, I told him what had transpired.

The sad thing is that there was some poor bastard who had to clean that up. I don't know how you would do it short of washing the entire room down with a hose and having an open drain.

I did not do it on purpose and I really feel bad about it, but it has been almost 13 years since it happened and telling the story helps me get over it.


The funny thing was that less than 2 weeks after doing that, the store started a going out of business sale. I can't help but feel that I played a small part in closing the doors to that place.
/thread. Nothing will top that.:rofl:

[Z06David]

I had just moved to Houston and bought a house. My brother was living a few streets away and I had a new fridge being delivered, so he and I decided to go pick up the parts needed to hook up the ice maker.

On or little adventure we decided to stop at Jack in the box and get some lunch. It was about 100 degrees outside (the summer of '98) and I hate to eat too much when I get overheated.

Anyway, I choked down a Sourdough Jack and some curly fries and a coke and we went on to look for the parts that were needed. Home depot did not have the right part, so we ended going up the street to builders square.

As we enter builders square parking lot, I got a massive gut cramp, so bad I almost wrecked my new truck (not that it matters but it was an F150super cab with the crappy 4.6 and was the nicest vehicle I had ever owned ). So the cramp passes and I think that is the end of it.

We enter the store after walking around in the hot assed parking lot and I can feel something going on in my stomach. It did not feel right and kind of had me worried. We walked over to the plumbing isle and start to look for the parts, it was at this time that I also remembered I needed the stuff to hook up the washer and dryer too, so I mentioned that to my brother.

All of a sudden It hit me. It was pure evil. Gut oil.... I asked my brother where the chitter was and he told me in the back corner of the store.

I paced myself so I would not lose control of my bowels and walked in the general direction. I was cramping so bad and sweating so much that I knew it had to be Ebola or so other evil shit that I had. 10 steps and then stop. Breath. Shift my weight. 10 more steps. It took all the intestinal fortitude that I could muster to keep my bung sealed up.

When I finally made it to the bathroom, I started the process of undoing my belt and all of the other pre-fire & pre combat checks that must be done before you wage war. I quickly surveyed the scene and noticed that I was alone in here and chose the optimum stall in which unleash the demon that was trying to crawl out my ass.

I pushed the door open with my left hand while at the same time my right hand had a kung fu grip on my pants and drawers and as I spun around to close the door behind me my other hand was centered on the back of my waste pulling the cover off the atomic cannon that was about to launch.

As my left hand slid the lock closed, my right hand cleared the line of fire and all that was unholy was unleashed. :yesnod:

I hope that you have noticed that at no time did I say that I sat down. :leaving:

You see, the force of entering the stall and turning while dropping my pants was enough to break the seal. The easiest way for me to describe it would be taking a ketchup packet and bending it in half. Continue to squeeze it until it pops.

I did not realize the full amount of dammage that I did until it was over. I guess I kind of blacked out. When I turned around to see what had happened, I was shocked, horrified, disgusted, and in disbelief.

I had managed to spray shit all over the back wall, the left stall wall, the right stall wall (including the toilet paper holder) and the floor. The toilet and toilet seat was also covered in runny shit. The only clean place in that stall was the back of the door, where I was standing and the toilet water.

I was horrified. I looked at my pants to make sure I did not shit them up and when I figured out that they were clean and clear, I pulled them up, sans wiping.

I managed to hug the door and get it open without stepping in the newly deposited "stuff". I shut the door behind me and did a quick casualty evaluation in the mirror to ensure there was no evidence that was visible.

I quickly walked to the spot where my brother was picking the parts needed to hook up the fridge, washer and dryer and he could tell something was wrong by the look on my face.

I explained to him that we needed to go NOW and that he should just drop the stuff right there. We moved at a rapid pace toward the exit and when we got outside, I told him what had transpired.

The sad thing is that there was some poor bastard who had to clean that up. I don't know how you would do it short of washing the entire room down with a hose and having an open drain.

I did not do it on purpose and I really feel bad about it, but it has been almost 13 years since it happened and telling the story helps me get over it.


The funny thing was that less than 2 weeks after doing that, the store started a going out of business sale. I can't help but feel that I played a small part in closing the doors to that place.

This made me lose it :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[CertInsaneC5]

/thread. Nothing will top that.:rofl:

No kidding. Holy hell. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[bryanZ06]

This made me lose it :rofl::rofl::rofl:

:iagree: :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[NB2K]

That's easy.

One time, my wife bought the Regular Charmin instead of the Aloe Charmin!

Hilarity did not ensue!

[Rotorhead]

About ten years ago...I assume it was food poisoning. I woke up around 3 am, cramped up. Sit on the toilet and out comes the diarrhea. Then I had to lean over to puke in the sink. Puked and puked and puked. I wound up filling the sink to the top, and the toilet was full, and smelled so bad no way was I leaning in it to puke. I stagger out, shaking and sweating. Lady friend comes out and says get in bed, she'll clean up...bless her.

A few minutes later I knew something was coming up and no way was I going to make it to the bathroom. I jump out of bed, lean over to puke in a trash can, and with a huge fart out came about a gallon, right through my shorts, down my legs, in the floor.

I wound up in the bathroom about a half dozen times that night, and went through several pair of underwear. Filled the sink again too. I must have stayed queasy for a week.
Been there done that recently.:leaving:

[khblair]

oddly enough... this thread cracks me up :rofl:

[DAB]

oddly enough... this thread cracks me up :rofl:

that girl ain't right i tell ya.....

of course, all the stories are from men...because women don't have such experiences, they always go with a bathroom buddy. :slap:

[xXBUDXx]

:leaving:

[MEC5LADY]

oddly enough... this thread cracks me up :rofl:

:iagree:

When I was doing my clincal rotations, one part was to walk the patients down the hallways to help them gain strength and assess their oxygen needs. One patient in particular refused to do his walk and the doctor insisted. The patient told the doctor several times he didn't feel well but again the doctor insisted.
Two of my fellow students got on either side of the patient and proceeded to walk him down the hall with the doctor following behind. Within ten steps the patient had the most explosive projectile diarrhea I had ever seen all over the doctor and his once white lab coat. I had a hard time not laughing but was somewhat successful until the patient turned around, looked at the doctor and said "I told you I wasn't feeling well". I laughed so hard I had to leave the floor.
It was the first and last time I got reprimanded in school because the doctor complained I laughed. No worries though I took good care of him and would TP his car periodically during the school year. Ahhhhh memories.

[Stangkiller]

/thread. Nothing will top that.:rofl:

:iagree:

[kylebuck]

I battled with Ulcerative colius for around 2 years... Every time I went to the shitter... sounded like someone let loose a water cannon.

[jaxgator]

This made me lose it :rofl::rofl::rofl:

:iagree: Holy hell! I am literally STILL busting a gut over that post. That has got to be one of the funniest posts I have ever seen on the internet. Thanks Omega Man! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Omega Man]

:iagree: Holy hell! I am literally STILL busting a gut over that post. That has got to be one of the funniest posts I have ever seen on the internet. Thanks Omega Man! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

What is even funnier is I have a video of me telling my nephews about this on a ski lift. the 3 of them started laughing so hard I thought the chair lift would fall.



Thinking back on it, I am thinking it might be how Jack mixes the hot mayo and cheese. It is something a gut cant handle above 90 degrees.

[GS Ragtop]

YouTube - ‪A sudden Case of Diarrhea‬‏

[khblair]

YouTube - ‪A sudden Case of Diarrhea‬‏ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIvtVJV-RpY)

:rofl::rofl: oops

[jaxgator]

What is even funnier is I have a video of me telling my nephews about this on a ski lift. the 3 of them started laughing so hard I thought the chair lift would fall.



Thinking back on it, I am thinking it might be how Jack mixes the hot mayo and cheese. It is something a gut cant handle above 90 degrees.

Post it up. I would love to hear you tell it in your own voice.

[Hoog]

Years ago as I'm getting to work on third shift, I'm met at the elevator by one of my coworkers. He's just standing there with a look of total disgust on his face, and a full face respirator in his hand. He gives me the respirator and says, "first stall on the left." Against my better judgement, I don the respirator, and have a look. OMFG!!! The stall was destroyed, with no evidence of any attempted clean up. Someone had literally Omega Manned the place. We hung haz waste signs on the door and taped the edges to keep the smell from creeping into the hallway. Most horrific thing I'd ever seen. We all made sure we were there when the janitor showed up, but he didn't flinch.

How many times does this happen where you get to the point of this scene being "just another day at the office"?