View Full Version : How to have fun at the grocery store....
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 7:46pm
If I have a few items, I use the self check out and sometimes make a few choice comments directed at the machine when it won't accept an item or tells me to bag the item. Today I noticed one of the cashier's watching me so I talked to the machine more than I normally would have. When the machine said "Thank you for shopping at Safeway" I said "Thank you for having me it's always a pleasure". The clerk came over to set me straight about the machine. Keep in mind the manager who I know was standing a few feet away trying not to laugh the entire time
Cashier: You do know that isn't a live person right?
Me: Not alive!? She just died but I was just talking to her? What happened to her did I do something?
Cashier with shocked look on her face: Oh no you didn't do anything I was trying to tell you that the voice is automated not that anyone died.
Me: But you said she wasn't alive and I was just talking to her a minute ago. Did she have a terminal illness?
Cashier: What? She is a machine that is automatic you really weren't talking to a live person.
Me: I understand she died was she involved in a crash of some sort? I can't believe it I was just talking to her. You know there are laws against driving and talking while on the phone and you aren't suppose to text as well.
Cashier: She wasn't involved in a crash or had a terminal illness it's a machine.
Me: Yeah I feel like a robot myself sometimes poor lady and she was so nice. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for her family or if you are going to take up a donation. I shop here every week so I will look for a sign up or something when I come back. Have a great day...
Yep, I know I am going to hell and I already have my hell rewards card so I am all set.:cheers:
Uncle Pervey
05-23-2011, 7:52pm
You are one crazy fun womang! :lol::lol::lol:
BuckyThreadkiller
05-23-2011, 7:52pm
I hope they get her body out of that little metal box under the receipt printer
Goddammit I wish I had gotten to meet you in person this weekend. :banghead: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
You are one crazy fun womang! :lol::lol::lol:
<whisper>Nobody tell him</whisper>
ahahaha...stealth edit fail!
lspencer534
05-23-2011, 7:56pm
Only you....:rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
So, seriously...how did she die?
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 8:19pm
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
So, seriously...how did she die?
I think it was the crash... the terminal illness wouldn't have taken her quite so quickly. I can't wait to go back and track down the manager to see what she said after I left.:D
I read your thread title and thought:
Vegetables. She's in the Vegetable section. :D
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 8:41pm
I read your thread title and thought:
Vegetables. She's in the Vegetable section. :D
Oh that gives me an idea for the next grocery store run. I wonder if I should upgrade to a new set of melons or stick with the ones I put in my cart... I'll have to ask some people to see what they say.:leaving:
...Whitepower...
05-23-2011, 8:45pm
That sounds like some shit I would do..
JRD77VET
05-23-2011, 8:49pm
Oh that gives me an idea for the next grocery store run. I wonder if I should upgrade to a new set of melons or stick with the ones I put in my cart... I'll have to ask some people to see what they say.:leaving:
Does this set of melons match? :lol:
Or should I get another set ? :rofl:
This could be good :D
xXBUDXx
05-23-2011, 8:55pm
Pics of the machine? :waiting:
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 9:20pm
Pics of the machine? :waiting:
You wouldn't enjoy her I hear she is just like a piece of metal... cold, hard and doesn't move.
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 9:22pm
You are one crazy fun womang! :lol::lol::lol:
Awww thanks.:winky:
xXBUDXx
05-23-2011, 9:31pm
You wouldn't enjoy her I hear she is just like a piece of metal... cold, hard and doesn't move.
I think I may have dated her. That's why I wanted pics. :leaving:
MEC5LADY
05-23-2011, 9:44pm
I think I may have dated her. That's why I wanted pics. :leaving:
Well if she liked having things swiped across her face and having her buttons pushed this might be your ex. Should I mention she likes having someone put coins in her slot as well?:hi:
xXBUDXx
05-23-2011, 10:02pm
Well if she liked having things swiped across her face and having her buttons pushed this might be your ex. Should I mention she likes having someone put coins in her slot as well?:hi:
Damned if it doesn't sound just like her. :leaving:
Mirroredshades
05-23-2011, 10:06pm
You are pretty funnah.
:thumbs:
oahuyahoo
05-24-2011, 3:25am
If I have a few items, I use the self check out and sometimes make a few choice comments directed at the machine when it won't accept an item or tells me to bag the item. Today I noticed one of the cashier's watching me so I talked to the machine more than I normally would have. When the machine said "Thank you for shopping at Safeway" I said "Thank you for having me it's always a pleasure". The clerk came over to set me straight about the machine. Keep in mind the manager who I know was standing a few feet away trying not to laugh the entire time
Cashier: You do know that isn't a live person right?
Me: Not alive!? She just died but I was just talking to her? What happened to her did I do something?
Cashier with shocked look on her face: Oh no you didn't do anything I was trying to tell you that the voice is automated not that anyone died.
Me: But you said she wasn't alive and I was just talking to her a minute ago. Did she have a terminal illness?
Cashier: What? She is a machine that is automatic you really weren't talking to a live person.
Me: I understand she died was she involved in a crash of some sort? I can't believe it I was just talking to her. You know there are laws against driving and talking while on the phone and you aren't suppose to text as well.
Cashier: She wasn't involved in a crash or had a terminal illness it's a machine.
Me: Yeah I feel like a robot myself sometimes poor lady and she was so nice. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for her family or if you are going to take up a donation. I shop here every week so I will look for a sign up or something when I come back. Have a great day...
Cashier: You know lady what doctors say about people who talk to machines don't you? It's OK, fine and dandy so long as you continue to take your medication.
Yep, I know I am going to hell and I already have my hell rewards card so I am all set.:cheers:
fixit
Both of you are straight jacket material................:shots:
Olustee bus
05-24-2011, 6:43am
:rofl:
That is funny as hell, can't possibly true. I am picturing in my mind
:rofl:
Oh, and pics of the melons
island14
05-24-2011, 7:30am
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Too bad you didn't get that on video, it would have went viral overnight on youtube. :lol:
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 7:42am
Both of you are straight jacket material................:shots:
You know those things are a biotch to tie in the back besides I would prefer they come in black not the standard white.
:rofl:
That is funny as hell, can't possibly true. I am picturing in my mind
:rofl:
Oh, and pics of the melons
If you don't think this is true than you really don't know me.:rofl: As far as my melons, the only pics I have is the one in my avatar.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Too bad you didn't get that on video, it would have went viral overnight on youtube. :lol:
The best things in life can't always be caught on video. :cheers:
Blademaker
05-24-2011, 7:50am
:lol:
You know those things are a biotch to tie in the back besides I would prefer they come in black not the standard white.
http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae178/URUSAINA/straitjacket-female.jpg:dance:
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 10:36am
http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae178/URUSAINA/straitjacket-female.jpg:dance:
Ohhhhh call me crazy but I like that jacket.:cheers: Does you have an item number and the phone number of the place that sells it?:waiting:
onedef92
05-24-2011, 10:44am
Yep, I know I am going to hell and I already have my hell rewards card so I am all set.
I wouldn't even joke about that. Hell is a real place and I wouldn't wish that ultimate fate upon my worst enemy, let alone someone I'm happily acquainted with.
i've spoken to that same machine....all she does is take money and talk down to me.....yep, gotta be real.
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 11:09am
Yep, I know I am going to hell and I already have my hell rewards card so I am all set.
I wouldn't even joke about that. Hell is a real place and I wouldn't wish that ultimate fate upon my worst enemy, let alone someone I'm happily acquainted with.
I joke about it because some days if I didn't I don't know what I would do. Unfortunately, my job has taught me that even sick humor makes some things we see/do tolerable to be able to continue to do it day after day after day. I love my job but that is the downside and unfortunatley PTSD is something that people don't talk about in regards to healthcare workers.
i've spoken to that same machine....all she does is take money and talk down to me.....yep, gotta be real.
Maybe you shoulda put a ring on it...
Flatbush Harry
05-24-2011, 2:16pm
I read your thread title and thought:
Vegetables. She's in the Vegetable section. :D
Probably a cauliflower. That's what happens in a crash when a TBI (traumatic brain injury) is the outcome. While some die, as in this tragic case, more often, they remain in a persistent vegetative state...that's why you should have checked in the vegetable section before believing that the poor woman passed.
But then, with you being a health care professional, as opposed to being a green grocer, this all might have been unclear.
Cheers,
$Hya3r.14159r6.02x10^23
Flatbush Harry
05-24-2011, 2:17pm
I joke about it because some days if I didn't I don't know what I would do. Unfortunately, my job has taught me that even sick humor makes some things we see/do tolerable to be able to continue to do it day after day after day. I love my job but that is the downside and unfortunatley PTSD is something that people don't talk about in regards to healthcare workers.
Maybe you shoulda put a ring on it...
But these machines are women...a penis ring would not have fit.
:hi:
y$ar3H.14159rx10^23(6.02)
Flatbush Harry
05-24-2011, 2:19pm
You know those things are a biotch to tie in the back besides I would prefer they come in black not the standard white.
If you don't think this is true than you really don't know me.:rofl: As far as my melons, the only pics I have is the one in my avatar. Delighted to check for ripeness and freshness
The best things in life can't always be caught on video. :cheers:
Lewd comment inserted for grins.
Mar$vin, Har$ry's doppelganger
Flatbush Harry
05-24-2011, 2:21pm
Ohhhhh call me crazy but I like that jacket.:cheers: Does you have an item number and the phone number of the place that sells it?:waiting:
Be still, my heart.
:shots:
Ha$3r............, er,......
Kevin_73
05-24-2011, 2:33pm
Ohhhhh call me crazy but I like that jacket.:cheers: Does you have an item number and the phone number of the place that sells it?:waiting:
I bet Mazda would be more than happy to buy that for you. :yesnod:
Throw in a ball-gag and it will be nice and peaceful around your place. :D
Mr Hole
05-24-2011, 2:37pm
I bet Mazda would be more than happy to buy that for you. :yesnod:
Throw in a ball-gag and it will be nice and peaceful around your place. :D
:rofl::waiting::rofl:
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 3:32pm
I bet Mazda would be more than happy to buy that for you. :yesnod:
Throw in a ball-gag and it will be nice and peaceful around your place. :D
Kevin, is that what works around your house? Might I ask the obvious question that is just begging to be asked..... is that what you wear around your house?:waiting:
Nemesis
05-24-2011, 3:37pm
you're a hoot, that's for sure.
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 3:44pm
you're a hoot, that's for sure.
:winky:
Nemesis
05-24-2011, 3:56pm
:winky:
i always go to the prettiest cashier. :D
Kevin_73
05-24-2011, 3:58pm
Kevin, is that what works around your house? Might I ask the obvious question that is just begging to be asked..... is that what you wear around your house?:waiting:
If there is anyone in my house that needs a straight jacket and a ball-gag it's not me. :leaving:
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 4:01pm
If there is anyone in my house that needs a straight jacket and a ball-gag it's not me. :leaving:
In that case, I don't even want to know what your preferred outfit is. No wonder you have shades on the windows in your building.:leaving:
MEC5LADY
05-24-2011, 4:02pm
i always go to the prettiest cashier. :D
Paper or plastic?:waiting:
Nemesis
05-24-2011, 7:14pm
Paper or plastic?:waiting:
umm...rubber?
Damn. You and yarraH having a conversation on the same level. :confused5:
I'll take a post count, and all I said was Vegetables. :leaving:
Flatbush Harry
05-24-2011, 9:28pm
Damn. You and yarraH having a conversation on the same level. :confused5:
I'll take a post count, and all I said was Vegetables. :leaving:
I like vegs...even the human ones.
BTW, it's ry%$raH(2Pi*Avogadro's Constant) not yarraH.
:dance:
ry%$raH(2Pi*Avogadro's Constant)
Fastguy
05-24-2011, 10:03pm
Funny, I just talked to a grocery store machine this evening then saw this thread. I walked up and it asked if I wanted English or Spanish and I said , "How about you f'ng default to English and let Spanish speakers press a button."
That got me a few strange looks.
69camfrk
05-24-2011, 11:34pm
That's funny right there!! Yeah, you're going to hell alright!!!:rofl:
MEC5LADY
05-25-2011, 7:15am
Be still, my heart.
:shots:
Ha$3r............, er,......
You know what I would have to do if your heart really did stop....:leaving:
Funny, I just talked to a grocery store machine this evening then saw this thread. I walked up and it asked if I wanted English or Spanish and I said , "How about you f'ng default to English and let Spanish speakers press a button."
That got me a few strange looks.
:rofl:
That's funny right there!! Yeah, you're going to hell alright!!!:rofl:
No worries the reservation has been made for years complete with a rewards card.:dance:
vBulletin® v3.8.4, Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.