Wednesday jole....

[zeek]

A mother-in-law stopped by the recently married couple’s house

unexpectedly. She rang the doorbell and stepped inside, where she saw her

daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my Love Dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.


“Love Dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy, and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute.”

The mother-in-law, tired of all this romantic talk, left.

On the way home, she thought about the Love Dress. When she got home, she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, and waited by the front door.

Finally, her husband got home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

“This is my Love Dress,” she replied.



“Needs ironing,” he said. :Jeff '79: :funniest:

[SteveOceanside]

Jole #2:

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That
night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy
negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her
husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same
negligee the night we were married."

She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that
night?"

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asked.

He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck
the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out.' "

She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said.
So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore
that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished".

:funny:

[zeek]

.

[SteveOceanside]

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whorehouse. When they arrived at the house, the Madame took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blowup" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned...how was it for you?" The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."

The first man asked, "How's that?"

"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast ... she farted and flew out the window!"

:funnier:

[SteveOceanside]

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some Crotchless underwear she had seen in a novelty shop.

One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned her Crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her partner and the television and naughtily tossed one leg up on his chair arm."Want some of this *****?" she purred.

"Are you kidding?" he replied, "look what it did to those panties"

[zeek]

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck”

Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked.




“To get my teeth!” :D

[theandies]

Funny jole's

[Onebadcad]

Dood: I have had two bad marriages, my first wife died, my second one won't.

[Frankie the Fink]

My father was a conjoined twin...
We called his brother our uncle on our father's side...
After they were surgically separated we called him our uncle once removed.