All I wanted was more beer. My neighbor couldn't even do that right.

[Vandelay Industries]

So I was a little under the weather yesterday and ran short of a couple things. I didn't feel up to going out so I started calling some neighbors, but nobody was around to help.

As a last resort I called somebody who lives a couple houses down. He's that one guy every neighborhood has--pretty odd and thinks he knows everything. If he's not carrying rocks around outside and putting them in his driveway (wtf?), he's screaming at his chainsaw because he can't get it started. I used to talk to him a few times a week, but I couldn't take his odd sayings like "You mad bro?" Over the winter he prattled on about verts or something and that was kind of the last straw.

Anyway...I asked him to pick me up some beer and Gatorade and maybe a bottle of Coke. I like a good rum & coke in the evening. Thankfully he agreed to help me out without too much chitchat.

Get this! He came back with a 6 pack of Bud Light, some store brand sports drink (It was on sale :spdchk:) and diet Pepsi.

But that's not the worst of it! He also bought a pack of cut fruit :ack:! At least I can use the pineapple when I make pina coladas.

If that wasn't bad enough, he brings me 3 cans of chicken soup--I hate that shit! And I have no idea why he wants me to save the cans for him. :confused5:

As a final kick in the nuts, this guy calls 911 and has the ambulance take me away, even though I told him I'm fine! Just wait till I get out of here.

I'm done with this fool--I have no idea how his wife puts up with him. She seems like a sweetheart.

[Tikiman]

Well played.

[Big bob]

I have seen fools like this. Always bragging how well they are doing while living off their women. All have a little side hustle. One does filler writing and the other rents out his neighbors homes out and steals their water when not around. Another just lays around naked by the pool trying to whip up another 50 bucks.

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

Were you dying? WTF?

[Bill]

Nicely done 9.1/10. Could have used images for slightly more 'pop.' Probably would view thread again.

[Sea Six]

8/10 Would read again

[Steve_R]

:clap:

[OnPoint]

:seasix:

[MadInNc]

:rofl::hurray::seasix:

[Onebadcad]

Very most excellent writing skills!!
Have you considered a job writing Corvette articles for the interwebby??

[Vandelay Industries]

Very most excellent writing skills!!
Have you considered a job writing Corvette articles for the interwebby??

Thanks, but I don't know if can handle the pressures of being a paid, professional writer. :cert:

[Onebadcad]

Thanks, but I don't know if can handle the pressures of being a paid, professional writer. :cert:

Wine from a box may calm your anxiety, if not grab your neighbor by the nutzsack as he bashes you to the ground.

[Swany00]

great creativity:seasix:

[GTOguy]

Hilarious and very well written. Would read again. :cert:

[Yadkin]

So I was a little under the weather yesterday and ran short of a couple things. I didn't feel up to going out so I started calling some neighbors, but nobody was around to help.

Next time, remember, Publix delivers. Will save you having to resort to calling The Guy. :seasix:

[Aerovette]

I have seen fools like this. Always bragging how well they are doing while living off their women. All have a little side hustle. One does filler writing and the other rents out his neighbors homes out and steals their water when not around. Another just lays around naked by the pool trying to whip up another 50 bucks.


I hope you mean NAV, otherwise...brain bleach.

[The_Dude]

http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/132743-2/Boobslap.gif? (http://forgifs.com)

[dvarapala]

Parrot of the Year. :lol:

[Vandelay Industries]

Next time, remember, Publix delivers. Will save you having to resort to calling The Guy. :seasix:

:cert:

[Yadkin]

:cert:

Do they have supermarket deliveries in Massachushits, or is that also illegal?

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMzY0c2dxNngyenFzMGV2N2I5dXd2Y214OWxhZzl0bXIxMDhqNTEyeiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/LpDUA8yMid8fxThAGc/giphy.gif

[Vandelay Industries]

Do they have supermarket deliveries in Massachushits, or is that also illegal?

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMzY0c2dxNngyenFzMGV2N2I5dXd2Y214OWxhZzl0bXIxMDhqNTEyeiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/LpDUA8yMid8fxThAGc/giphy.gif

:spdchk:

Thanks for reminding us why your neighbor called everyone in a 5 mile radius before dialing your number.

[Yadkin]

:spdchk:

Thanks for reminding us why your neighbor called everyone in a 5 mile radius before dialing your number.

I was the first/ only actually. But I made sure all his friends know and he's had a lot of visitors. That has got him thinking about the future with a bit more certainty instead of looking down the bottom of a glass.

That GIF I posted, I was reminded the other day about when right turn on red was mandated by the Feds, maybe the late 70's, early 80's. Massachushits responded by putting a NO TURN ON RED at every signalized intersection, every direction. Basically telling their citizens, er, their subjects, "**** you".

One of the many reasons I escaped that shithole. :Jeff '79:

[higgyburners]

So I was a little under the weather yesterday and ran short of a couple things. I didn't feel up to going out so I started calling some neighbors, but nobody was around to help.

As a last resort I called somebody who lives a couple houses down. He's that one guy every neighborhood has--pretty odd and thinks he knows everything. If he's not carrying rocks around outside and putting them in his driveway (wtf?), he's screaming at his chainsaw because he can't get it started. I used to talk to him a few times a week, but I couldn't take his odd sayings like "You mad bro?" Over the winter he prattled on about verts or something and that was kind of the last straw.

Anyway...I asked him to pick me up some beer and Gatorade and maybe a bottle of Coke. I like a good rum & coke in the evening. Thankfully he agreed to help me out without too much chitchat.

Get this! He came back with a 6 pack of Bud Light, some store brand sports drink (It was on sale :spdchk:) and diet Pepsi.

But that's not the worst of it! He also bought a pack of cut fruit :ack:! At least I can use the pineapple when I make pina coladas.

If that wasn't bad enough, he brings me 3 cans of chicken soup--I hate that shit! And I have no idea why he wants me to save the cans for him. :confused5:

As a final kick in the nuts, this guy calls 911 and has the ambulance take me away, even though I told him I'm fine! Just wait till I get out of here.

I'm done with this fool--I have no idea how his wife puts up with him. She seems like a sweetheart.


Very nicely done brother...I only wish you would of thrown in him stealing your water...it would of sent it too the top...9.875/10

[Vandelay Industries]

Very nicely done brother...I only wish you would of thrown in him stealing your water...it would of sent it too the top...9.875/10

:lol:

I missed a few things. Those will have to wait until the next edition. :D

[Yadkin]

Very nicely done brother...I only wish you would of thrown in him stealing your water...it would of sent it too the top...9.875/10

Rent free, Himey. :Jeff '79:

[Big bob]

Speaking of rent fee how much are you renting his house for this time. I still don't know how your neighbor can make you get in a ambulance and commit you. But i guess you're a big deal in lot land.

102916

[GTOguy]

Speaking of rent fee how much are you renting his house for this time. I still don't know how your neighbor can make you get in a ambulance and commit you. But i guess you're a big deal in lot land.

102916
* ? (questions are followed by question marks.)

Yadkin is a 'big deal' everywhere. Wake up and smell the coffee. Compared to you, he's a regular A-list celebrity. :)

[theandies]

I don't get it.

[Anjdog2003]

I don't get it.




/thread