I need some pickleball help

[Onebadcad]

Yep, playing tonight for the first time, never held a paddle, never had the desire, but wife says it will be good for US, so I am on board.

Have a few questions:

1) Can I wear my no lace Hey Dudes, or must a lace up some Nike SBs
2) Can I wear my five-pocket Wrangler cargo shorts, or do I need to go and buy white tennis shorts
3) Any penalty for smashing the other team with the ball
4) Are there beer breaks after each set
5) Does the losing team pay for dinner
6) Can I spit tobacco juice on the court
7) What is the record for home runs over the fence
8) If I beat them goose eggs in each set, will they return next week for another beatdown
9) Is this sport racist, I heard very few Inuits play
10) Should I be going to Top Golf instead, they serve beer and half-decent grub

That is all for now, tomorrow I will report back with the results.
I anticipate domination, if the wife hinders me I will send her to the car to get my sweat bands.

[DAB]

winners buy Bud Light

[DJ_Critterus]

Not sure you can have beer anywhere near the court. You might want to stick with the Franzia

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/OblongTenseGermanpinscher-max-1mb.gif

[VITE1]

Have fun and make sure your medical insurance is fully paid up!

[Tikiman]

When you find out who your opponents are, the first thing you do is get right up in the other guy's face, nose to nose, and say in your most menacing voice, "You're going down hard, boy. I am going to shave your ass dry.". This will not only break the ice, but it will also let the other team know that you are taking the sport seriously and came to play.

I've done this at Bridge tournaments and it never fails. :yesnod:

[Mike Mercury]

wife says it will be good for US

that's generally a sign to avoid these things.

https://filmschoolrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/itsatrap-2.jpg

[Murray]

When in the kitchen (close to the net) spike the ball as much as possible. Other team will appreciate it.

Tobacco spit is okay if no crocks are worn. Report back :thumbs:

Also tennis racket is an acceptable replacement for the traditional pickle ball paddle.

Video would be nice.

[DAB]

right hand: paddle

left hand: beer

shoes: one foot- flip flop; other foot- untied boot. short black socks optional.

[Anjdog2003]

I remember going to the park to play badminton and drink a few Bud Lights, those were the days. :yesnod:







super :spdchk:

[Taurus]

It's a stupid game and a great way to kill time. I don't like it but look forward to playing when the gang gets together.

I know, that makes very little sense.

[tjfontaine]

I played from 2011 to 2017. I loved it and miss it a lot. It's hard on the knees and ... I have bad knees ... which are now WORSE knees. The ER by our 55+ community said PB injuries were the biggest source of visitors.

Have fun, don't be too serious, don't start diving for shots and shit.

[Onebadcad]

Okay, I survived, and am much wiser.

Pball does not reward for power, speed or trash talking--blew my strategy to shit.
I did well, paired with B-I-L vs. the wives, we dropped the first set BUT won the last two.
LOTS OF DAMN RULES, and the key is like ping pong, just get it over the net and let the other side hit it long, or into the net.

Not sure if I will be returning, as I like my sports with more speed and power and energy, you can play Pball into your 90s, as very little movement, you just hang out near the net and volley each ball.

With that said, there were not one BUT TWO smoking babes playing on the adjacent courts, was damn hard to concentrate as both were in tennis skirts, I 'think' the wife caught me staring at least twice, which is a good ratio as I sneaked about 100 peeks.

Thanks for your support and enthusiasm, if I play again I will get a few videos of all the hot babes on the courts!!

[DJ_Critterus]

I think I know where pickleballs come from...
https://i.redd.it/p0lkolgrjxo21.jpg

[Onebadcad]

I think I know where pickleballs come from...
https://i.redd.it/p0lkolgrjxo21.jpg

You may be onto something.

Those Pball balls are so light, with tons of cuts in them, I failed to hit any home runs.

[Rob]

I like to leave one testicle hanging out of my speedo so the opposing team gets confused

[Rodnok1]

I like to leave one testicle hanging out of my speedo so the opposing team gets confused

:puke:

[Onebadcad]

I like to leave one testicle hanging out of my speedo so the opposing team gets confused

Thank you for not posting a video.

[DJ_Critterus]

I like to leave one testicle hanging out of my speedo so the opposing team gets confused

Anybody get confused which pickleball to hit?

[Rodnok1]

Anybody get confused which pickleball to hit?

We may need to pitch in get him a nut bra if it turns into Croquet...

[Yadkin]

I played from 2011 to 2017. I loved it and miss it a lot. It's hard on the knees and ... I have bad knees ... which are now WORSE knees. The ER by our 55+ community said PB injuries were the biggest source of visitors.

Have fun, don't be too serious, don't start diving for shots and shit.

Damn. I was looking forward to trying this, but I'm saving whatever knees I have left for skiing. :(

[Yadkin]

I like to leave one testicle hanging out of my speedo so the opposing team gets confused

Since you lack balls, I know that you are joking.

:Jeff '79: